The Modern Leadership Coaching Podcast

Hosted by Marc & Teresa Hildebrand

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388

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Aug 2026

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About the show

Modern Leadership Coaching is where Marc and Teresa Hildebrand, a 20-year LAPD Sergeant and a former UCLA Health executive, help driven people get out of their own way and reach their next level. Real conversations about what actually holds people back, how to get your own thinking working for you instead of against you, and how to show up as who you know you can be in your business, your family, and your life. Want to go deeper? Start our free series on leading yourself through anything at https://www.modernleadership.us/lead New episodes weekly.

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September 28, 2026Episode 3323 min

The Things You Can't See

Send us Fan Mail The most dangerous obstacles in leadership aren’t the ones you can name, they’re the ones you keep calling “just the way I am”. Marc and Teresa open up a different kind of conversation: a live “spotter” style walkthrough where we practice noticing the hidden beliefs and subconscious filters that quietly shape how we lead, communicate, and make decisions. We start with why blind spots are so hard to see from the inside. Your brain is built to protect you, so it turns old assumptions into “facts” and then drives your behavior on autopilot. That shows up everywhere, from work to marriage to parenting, especially when stress is high. Self-leadership means learning to notice that invisible story and choosing a better one, but it also means admitting you may need outside perspective to see what you’re missing. Then we run three real-world scenarios. A supervisor repeats the same feedback and assumes the employee doesn’t care, when the real issue might be clarity, confidence, perfectionism, missing access, or a communication gap. A high performer says yes, regrets it, and can’t explain why, revealing scarcity, fear of missing out, and people pleasing patterns. And the “smooth meeting” leader who avoids the elephant in the room goes home frustrated, teaching others what’s acceptable while losing energy and trust. If you want to lead yourself well and become the kind of person who can navigate any challenge, not just the one in front of you, this conversation gives you a practical lens to start. Subscribe, share this with a leader who needs it, and leave a review with the blind spot you’re working on right now. For more information about the Self-Leadership Lab, visit: modernleadership.us/lab Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

September 21, 2026Episode 3213 min

When You're the One Everybody Comes To

Send us Fan Mail Everyone keeps bringing you the same problems and part of you is proud, and part of you is tired. We dig into why that happens and why it often has less to do with other people “dumping” on you and more to do with a leadership superpower you’ve been underestimating. We start with a deceptively small mindset shift that changes everything: the questions you ask in your own head. “Why do I have to be the one?” creates resentment on demand. “Why am I the right person for this?” creates clarity, ownership, and even gratitude. From there, we explore why people come to you based on what they see you do consistently, how you show up under pressure, how you communicate, and how you initiate action when others stall. We also separate the adaptive challenge from the technical challenge. The adaptive work is recognising your strength and choosing to lean into it with intention. The technical work is building an environment where you can reach up and reach out, not only reach down. If you are always supporting others but never getting support yourself, burnout is predictable. We connect that to coaching, modern leadership, and the idea of being proof of your product by applying your skills at work, at home, and in your own inner dialogue. Finally, we talk about the difference between leadership and dependency. Being the go to person is not the end goal. The real win is using your superpower to teach others to step up, build their own skills, and carry the load with you. If you’ve been feeling stretched, this will help you lead with more impact and less resentment. Subscribe, share this with the go to person in your life, and leave a review with the biggest insight you’re taking into your week. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

September 14, 2026Episode 3131 min

When Your Plan Stops Working

Send us Fan Mail Your plan didn’t fail because you lacked grit. Sometimes the plan is simply finished, and the real work is admitting it before you waste another year trying to “push through” a plateau that won’t budge. We dig into what to do when you’ve been executing, learning, and showing up like a high performer, yet the results stall. We break down a core self leadership principle we teach our clients: you can’t control outcomes, but you can control inputs, including how you show up, the actions you take, and the energy you bring to the work. From there, we explore the uncomfortable line between making smart adjustments and recognizing the plan is actually over. Marc shares the long arc from early success in MLM to years of plateau, the emotional storm of feeling like he was letting people down, and the pivot into coaching that changed everything. We also talk about the trap of “spinning” fueled by forced positivity, why tying goals to one specific path can blind you to better opportunities, and how to process a potential pivot without making a fear-based, heat-of-the-moment decision. If you feel the inkling that something needs to change, let this be the nudge to get honest, stay attached to the goal, and loosen your grip on the plan. Subscribe for more leadership coaching conversations, share this with a friend who’s stuck in a plateau, and leave a review with the biggest plan you’re ready to rethink. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

September 7, 2026Episode 3019 min

When Life Gets Hard

Send us Fan Mail Life can hit hard without warning, but the part that drains us most is often what happens next in our own head. We talk about those moments when life is lifing and the challenge is real, yet the suffering multiplies because we start asking terrible questions, slipping into victim mode, and letting one problem spill into every corner of our day. If you have ever thought “this always happens” and felt your patience shrink at home and at work, you will recognise the pattern immediately. We break down the idea that life is 50-50, and why our real job as leaders is to stop making the hard parts harder. We share the signs we watch for when our energy is tanking, how rumination quietly becomes the amplifier, and why going into isolation is the opposite of what actually helps. You will hear the practical reframe we use to move from “what is broken” to “how can I be effective right now,” plus why having a coach matters when your brain is convinced it is protecting you. We also make a clear distinction between pain and suffering. Pain is the normal emotional hit that comes from a hard event and the thoughts it triggers. Suffering is the replay loop, the story you keep telling, and the feeling that you have no control. The takeaway is simple and powerful: you have choice in what you focus on, and that choice changes your energy, your creativity, and your leadership. If you want extra support, we mention our workshop at modernleadership.us/forward slash workshop. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find the show. And you're invited to watch our recent workshop, How to Find the Real Problem (In Yourself and the People You Lead) : https://modernleadership.us/workshop Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

September 3, 202655 min

Bonus Episode - Finding the Real Problem

Send us Fan Mail You can be disciplined, motivated, and still feel stuck and it often has nothing to do with your work ethic. We’re talking about the moment every high performer hits: you take action, you try harder, you grab another strategy… and somehow the results don’t match the effort. The reason is simple and brutal: the problem you’re solving is usually not the real one. We walk through a framework we use in leadership coaching to separate technical challenges from adaptive challenges. Technical issues live on the outside: skills, tools, plans, resources, tactics. Adaptive issues live on the inside: mindset, perspective, fear, identity, and the stories your brain uses to keep you safe. We apply this to real situations like weight loss, growing a business, showing up on social media, and starting a podcast, so you can spot when you’re trying to “Google” your way through something that actually requires an internal software upgrade. Then we give you a simple set of coaching questions you can use on yourself or with clients to diagnose what’s really happening: are you taking needle-moving action, is your energy high, and have you given it enough time. We also talk about why your inner circle shapes your results and how the three levels of reach (down, out, up) keep your growth sustainable. If you want clearer action, higher energy, and fewer dead-end fixes, listen all the way through. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s spinning their wheels, and leave a review with the biggest “real problem” you just uncovered. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

August 31, 2026Episode 2915 min

Nobody Grows Alone

Send us Fan Mail If you’ve been doing “all the right things” and still feel stuck, the problem might not be your effort. It might be your environment. Marc and Teresa unpack a simple truth with huge consequences for personal development: nobody grows alone, and the slowest path to change is trying to muscle through it in isolation. We dig into the idea that you’re shaped by the people you spend the most time with, then we make it practical with a framework we use in leadership coaching called the three levels of reach. First, you reach down by helping someone a few steps behind you, which builds confidence and reinforces what you’ve learned. Next, you reach out to peers who can hold you accountable and help you feel less alone in the struggle. Finally, you reach up to a mentor or coach who can see the potholes ahead, challenge your patterns, and give you direction you wouldn’t find on your own. We also talk about what goes wrong when one level is missing, why groups of people who all share the same struggle can accidentally keep each other stuck, and how to take control of your “room” so you can grow faster without burning out. You’ll leave with tangible action steps, including a quick write-it-down exercise to identify who you need in each level and how to find what’s missing. If you’re ready to lead yourself better and step into the right environments, grab our free five-part leadership series at modernleadership.us/lead. Subscribe, share this with a friend who feels stuck, and leave a review so more people can find the support they need. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

August 24, 2026Episode 2832 min

How to Change the Inside So the Outside Can Change

Send us Fan Mail “Change the outside by changing the inside” sounds nice, but what does it actually mean when you’re trying to lead better, build confidence, improve habits, or grow a coaching business? We unpack the real, tangible version of inner work: noticing the story your brain is telling, challenging the belief underneath it, and choosing a perspective that creates better actions and better results. We talk about why personal development often feels abstract at first and how it becomes practical when you focus on what you can control: your inputs, your environment, the voices you let shape you, and the way you think in high-pressure moments. Then we use one of the clearest examples of internal transformation, confidence versus self-confidence. Confidence usually comes after you’ve done the thing before, but self-confidence is what lets you act before you have proof. When you truly believe there are only two outcomes, you do it right or you learn, you stop waiting to feel ready and you start building the reps that create real confidence. We also get into belief systems and why they resist change, how a locked-in mindset can make you miss opportunities that are right in front of you, and why coaching questions often work better than mentoring advice when someone is stuck. If you care about mindset, subconscious patterns, identity change, emotional regulation, and modern leadership, this one will give you language and tools you can use immediately. If you want help doing this work in a supportive environment, reach out about High Impact Master Academy, and if the conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

August 17, 2026Episode 2725 min

How to Help Someone See Something They Can't See Yet

Send us Fan Mail You can see the pattern a mile away and the other person can’t. So you explain it, you try to help, you offer the “right” solution and somehow they get defensive, shut down, or do the exact opposite. That moment is where a lot of leadership, parenting, and coaching breaks, and it’s exactly what we tackle here. We unpack why advice often fails even when it’s correct, and why belief systems naturally protect themselves when they feel challenged. Then we share what works better: checking whether someone is actually coachable, asking for permission before going into a sensitive area, and using questions that help people connect the dots on their own. We also explain a hard boundary that instantly improves conversations: you can’t coach someone who’s not in the room. When we stop trying to fix absent people and shift back to what the person in front of us can control, we get more clarity, less blame, and more momentum. Marc walks through how he asks questions without “leading the witness,” including examples from coaching entrepreneurs who feel stuck with social media or a single strategy. We also introduce the Growth Model, a framework we teach to help people see what their perspectives are creating beneath the surface. One question stands out for self-leadership and mindset work: “How does thinking that benefit you?” It reveals the hidden payoff behind thoughts like “I don’t have time” and turns shame into choice. If you want to lead people well, help them change without forcing it, and keep trust intact while still challenging them, hit play. Subscribe, share this with a leader who cares a lot, and leave a rating and review so more people can find the show. Join the wait list for the next round of our High Impact Mastery Academy at modernleadership.us/certification Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

August 10, 2026Episode 2628 min

Why Curiosity Helps People More Than Any Advice You Could Give

Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to lose someone’s trust is to “help” them too quickly. When we rush to give advice, we often solve the problem we imagine, not the problem they are actually living with, and we accidentally create distance in the very relationship we want to strengthen. We dig into the coaching mindset that changes that pattern: slow down, get curious, and ask a few more questions than feels necessary. We walk through a real leadership coaching moment with a husband who opens with a familiar line: “My wife needs to change.” Instead of jumping into mentoring mode, we explore the hidden drivers under his frustration and introduce a relationship tool we teach often: the “manual.” These are the unspoken expectations we carry for the people we love and lead, the private rules that decide whether we feel respected, heard, or cared for. We connect that to real-life triggers like the dishwasher and the trash bins, and show how quickly the brain turns neutral facts into painful stories. From there, we expand into practical coaching skills for leaders, parents, and managers: staying present, removing the pressure to have the answer, and separating adaptive challenges (mindset, meaning, identity) from technical fixes (what to say, what to do next). When the adaptive layer shifts, the technical advice finally lands. If you want to lead people well, it starts with self-leadership. If you want support building this skill, grab our free self-leadership resource at modernleadership.us/lead, and if you want us to help you get under the surface, reach out for a free call. Subscribe, share this with a friend who “fixes” too fast, and leave a review so more leaders can find the show. Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead

August 3, 2026Episode 2517 min

What Changed When We Stopped Giving Our Kids the Answer

Send us Fan Mail The moment someone you love says “I’m struggling,” do you feel the urge to jump in with the perfect solution? We do too and it’s exactly why this conversation matters. Marc and Teresa unpack how “fixing mode” can accidentally shut people down, create dependence, and even lower psychological safety, even when our intent is pure love and protection. We walk through two real parenting stories that changed how we lead at home. First, a school situation where repeated advice goes nowhere until Marc asks a single question that lets his son generate his own plan and actually follow through. Then, a morning routine struggle where punishments and rewards fail, but curiosity uncovers a simple experiment the child owns. The big lesson: buy-in beats tactics. When the idea is theirs, the energy, confidence, and consistency go way up and when it stops working, they learn how to adapt instead of waiting for us to rescue them. We also zoom out to modern leadership and relationships: this is not just a parenting tool. The same coaching mindset helps with spouses, teams, and clients, especially in high-emotion topics like health, habits, and change. If you want stronger communication, more independence, and less pressure in your relationships, start practicing better questions instead of better answers. Subscribe for more leadership coaching tools, share this with someone who’s stuck in fixing mode, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one question you can ask today instead of giving advice? Most people try to solve the wrong problem. They add more effort, more information, more action, when what's actually running the show is underneath all of it. We put together a short series on how to lead yourself through whatever life puts in front of you. Start at modernleadership.us/lead