Leaderhood & Parentship

Hosted by Shane Wallace & Morgan Berna

Business Management Kids Family Parenting

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Mar 2024

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About the show

Leaderhood & Parentship is brought to you by CultureSmith Inc. - the industry leader in workplace emotional intelligence (EQ) and leadership training. On each episode, we dive into the most recent and relevant issues facing leaders based on the hundreds of Executive Coaching calls we facilitate each month. We then shift gears and show how the same evidence-based approaches to issues of EQ in the workplace can applied at home.

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March 5, 2024Episode 7146 min

The Secret to Lasting Happiness at Work

#71 - Welcome back! This week we’re talking about the science of happiness. First, we banter about marketing trends and how they relate to Shane’s work with leaders. Then, we dive into what the “science” of happiness is. Can happiness really be measured? Is it what we think it is? What does it mean for those of us who don’t experience it deeply? And, can it be disordered? Then, Shane breaks down the key distinction between eudaemonic and hedonic happiness. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:30] Updates on how Morgan’s Trend Report performed. [04:00] Some of our favourite podcasts. [09:35] Are brands afraid of nicheing down?[11:00] Getting into today’s main topic: The Science of Happiness. [13:00] Why pain is required for happiness. [17:00] What is the science of happiness?[20:00] What is happiness?[23:00] Happiness vs contentment and what happens for high achievement oriented people. [29:50] The day Shane gave up golf.[31:50] What is the “science” component of happiness. [33:15] Normal happiness vs disordered thinking. [37:00] Explaining the terms we’ll be discussing on next week’s episode. [40:10] Eudaemonic vs hedonic happiness. [42:00] Why authenticity is critical for happiness.Mentioned in this Episode:Trend Report: https://scanclub.substack.com/p/what-digital-audiences-want-in-2024 Podcasts: 99% Invisible; Exit 5; Content, BrieflyDynasty Documentary on Apple TVCultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

February 27, 2024Episode 7049 min

The 3 Most Transformational Books Shane Has Read

#70 - In most episodes Shane will reference books that have transformed the way he thinks and how CultureSmith operates. For this episode, we break down the 3 most transformational books he’s ever read. With each book he shares the key points that are important for leaders and parents, anything he disagrees with, and what moment sticks with him. Shane even shares the story that always makes him emotional. Then, we get his to-read list for Q1 of 2024. If you enjoyed this episode, let us know and we’ll do a follow-up!If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:40] The inspiration for this episode. [04:30] Book 1: The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle. [06:30] The key takeaway from the book. [09:30] The part of the book that makes Shane emotional.[18:30] Leadership and loneliness. [20:50] Was there anything Shane disagreed with the author about?[22:35] Book 2: Atomic Habits by James Clear. [33:30] The law of consistency. [34:50] Was there anything Shane disagreed with the author about?[35:45] Book 3: Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy. [47:00] What’s on Shane’s list to read this year. Mentioned in this Episode:The Culture Code by Daniel CoyleAtomic Habits by James ClearGood Inside by Dr. Becky KennedyAnatomy of a Breakthrough by Adam AlterPsych by Paul BloomHow Minds Change by David McRaneyArticle about “languishing,” by Adam Grant: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

February 20, 2024Episode 691 hr 4 min

The Surprising Solution to Burnout

#69 - A lack of motivation, increased negativity about the self and others, a lack of pride in work… These are all common symptoms of burnout that we’ve normalized in today’s society. And, we don’t need to. In this episode, Shane breaks down what burnout is, which industries it shows up most in, how leaders can determine if an employee is facing burnout, and how to remedy the condition based on your Cognitive Colour. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:30] Shane’s taking a new course at Harvard![06:15] The Morgan Berna Award. [07:30] Why we’re talking about burnout today. [11:40] How CultureSmith views burnout. [17:15] Is burnout more physical or emotional?[18:10] Which industries Shane see burnout in the most. [23:00] What leaders should watch for to determine an employee is facing burnout. [25:50] The remedy for burnout based on your Cognitive Colour. [40:00] Why Shane no longer talks to leaders about motivation. [47:30] What to focus on when you’re feeling burnt out. [50:20] How burnout looks at work vs at home. [57:20] Things parents can teach their kids to help them avoid burnout. Mentioned in this Episode:Article about “languishing,” by Adam Grant: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

February 6, 2024Episode 6854 min

How to Identify and Solve a Cruelty Issue at Work

#68 - What does it cost you to be kind? Sometimes, that cost is giving up the chance to be cruel. In this episode, Shane breaks down what cruelty is and why we choose to engage in the behaviour. Shane explains the rationalizing behind cruelty, how each Cognitive Colour experiences cruelty, and what leaders get wrong about it. Then, we flip it to the home and talk about the ways cruelty shows up in our family life. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:30] Why Shane’s building’s elevator never works. [04:50] Why we’re talking about cruelty. [09:00] The definition of cruelty. [11:20] How each Cognitive Colour experiences cruelty. [23:15] Biggest misconceptions about cruelty from a leadership and organizational perspective. [29:45] What you’ll see and hear if cruelty is a problem at work.[32:00] Is gossip cruel?[35:00] Barriers to dealing with cruelty. [40:30] Differences between cruelty at work and at home. [49:30] What you’ll see and hear if cruelty is a problem in a couple.[52:30] Takeaways from this episode. Mentioned in this Episode:Northwestern University speech: https://news.northwestern.edu/stories/2023/06/commencement-class-of-2023/ CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

January 30, 2024Episode 671 hr 0 min

What Does It Cost You to Be Kind?

#67 - What does it cost you to be kind? No, really. There is a cost associated with kindness that often we aren’t willing to pay. Why? That’s the focus of this episode. Shane first breaks down the defining components of kindness. Then, we explore why kindness is important, how it is viewed in both neuroscience and psychology, and common misconceptions leaders have about kindness. Shane explains why kindness needs to go both ways in the workplace (it is not only the responsibility of the leader) and how our actions can be perceived so differently from our intentions. We close the episode with a discussion around kindness in the home and a teaser on how this all relates to our next episode: Cruelty. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:35] Thoughts on the cold weather in Calgary and catching up on how January is going. [03:30] Shane’s question about email marketing. [08:30] Getting into today’s topic: Kindness. [10:30] A simple, tactical definition of kindness. [13:30] Self vs social rewards. [16:10] How does each Cognitive Colour experience kindness?[23:10] How kindness is viewed from neuroscience and psychology. [26:00] The biggest misconception leaders have about kindness. [32:00] Examples of how our actions are perceived so differently. [37:45] Comparing a team where kindness is optimized vs not. [40:30] Barriers individuals face with kindness. [50:30] Kindness at the home vs the workplace. [52:30] Misconceptions about kindness from a parenting perspective. [56:20] Key takeaways from this episode and the show overall. [60:20] How this ties to next week’s episode: cruelty. Mentioned in this Episode:Book: Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel KahnemanCultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

January 23, 2024Episode 6659 min

Breaking Down the Leadership Messaging Framework

#66 - 93% of human communication is non-verbal. In a world where we increasingly work online, almost 100% of communication now doesn’t work for us. We can’t read body language or tone over messaging apps and people love to lean on workplace cliches. Intentional communication is more important than ever. In this episode, Shane breaks down CultureSmith’s Leadership Messaging Template and how it helps to eliminate confusing goals and feedback. This template standardizes leadership communication and allows leaders to get their message across clearly, every time. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:50] Thoughts around time feeling so fast lately. [04:30] About this episode’s topic. [08:25] Why it’s important to standardize leadership communication.[11:20] Major causes of miscommunication at work and how this helps prevent them.[15:15] The components of this framework. [20:40] The philosophical problem. [24:00] The empathy side. Principle 1: Liking[26:00] Principle 2: Reciprocity. [31:00] Principle 3/4: Authority and Social Proof. [35:00] The execution side. Principle 1/2: Task Conflict and Sensory Language. [44:00] What if you don’t know how to do an employee’s job?[46:40] The action side. Principle 1/2: Consistency and Scarcity. [50:50] Is this framework something to use in the home?[53:00] Common leadership clichés Shane is trying to eliminate from the workplace. Mentioned in this Episode:Book: Presuasion by Robert CialdiniCultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

January 16, 2024Episode 651 hr 4 min

How to Give High Performance Praise

#65 - When’s the last time you received praise for something and it really made you feel a surge of pride? We’re guessing it’s less often than you’d think. Most of us never learned how to use praise effectively, making it feel more like a “nice to have” than an effective leadership strategy. But, the importance of praise should not be discounted. In this episode, Shane breaks down the model CultureSmith Inc. uses to deliver impactful, high performance praise. First, Shane explains the importance of praise and why so many of us feel “allergic” to it. Then, we explore the consequences if we do not change how we deliver praise. Finally, we cover the model to deliver high performance praise both at work and at home. Morgan's Trend Report: https://open.substack.com/pub/scanclub/p/what-digital-audiences-want-in-2024If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:50] The excitement that comes as an entrepreneur when you’re ready to execute. [03:10] Why we’re talking about praise & a bit about the trend report Morgan worked on. [09:40] Why the term “high performance?”[17:10] What needs to change about how we’re delivering praise. [20:10] The consequences if we don’t change how we deliver praise. [26:40] Common misconceptions about praise. [30:10] How to offer high performance praise. [39:10] Shane’s 5 principles of leadership. [41:10] The 3 types of praise-worthy events.[43:30] How the Cognitive Colours impact praise. [55:20] How to apply this model in the home. [58:10] How to help your kids get high performance praise outside of the home. [1:00:30] Key takeaways from this episode.Mentioned in this Episode:CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

January 9, 2024Episode 641 hr 15 min

How You Became Your Cognitive Colour

#64 - Welcome back, and happy new year! For our first episode of 2024, we’re diving into the anatomy of the Cognitive Colours. What needed to happen for you to become your specific behavioural profile (both good and bad)? Shane starts by explaining why he’s hesitated about sharing this information; then, we explore what this topic offers for listeners as a missing link behind their behavioural patterns.If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:40] Chit chat around the holidays and why Shane writes his obituary every year. [03:30] Shane’s word of the year for 2024 and reflecting on his 2023 choice.[11:30] What we’ll be covering in this episode. [13:20] Why Shane has been reluctant to share this. [15:40] Why this information is the missing link for so many people. [17:00] How to mitigate the emotional risk around discussing our pasts. [22:45] What is the foundation of a colour.[26:40] The 4 identities the CultureSmith system focuses on. [31:00] Where interaction (relational, transactional) and orientation (inward, outward) comes from. [39:30] Level 1: your traits, aka the needs and fears of each cognitive colour.[47:00] How to overcome unmet needs and fears. [49:40] Level 2: our shortcuts for making quick decisions. [56:15] Level 3: your intrinsic motivation. [1:01:10] Level 4: a mix of things. [1:04:20] How to use this framework to address common issues at work. [1:08:20] Taking this to the home. Mentioned in this Episode:CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

December 19, 20231 hr 15 min

Top 6 “Aha” Moments of 2023

#63 - Over this past year there were 6 key occasions that changed the way Shane and CultureSmith Inc. framed coaching. Inspired by clients, Shane’s own experiences, and stories, this episode breaks down these 6 “aha” moments in easy to understand terms for quick application. From incorporating sensory language, to using storytelling as an accountability driver, consider this your emotional intelligence trend report for 2023. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:40] Where New Year’s resolutions come from. 08:00] How CultureSmith Inc. has started incorporating key podcast episodes into client onboarding. [09:00] About today’s topic: The top “aha” moments of 2023. [15:00] Are there any patterns in this “aha” moments?[18:30] The first “aha” moment: Recognizing your different identities as a leader. [31:30] The second “aha” moment: Some of us are wired for connection, others for contribution.[41:25] The third “aha moment: Sensory language. [48:50] The fourth “aha” moment: Environmental hygiene. [56:50] The fifth “aha” moment: Using storytelling to drive accountability. [1:02:30] The sixth “aha” moment: Have to do vs Get to do. [1:11:30] Key takeaways from this episode. [1:13:00] About our holiday break and what to expect in January. Mentioned in this Episode:Book: Daniel H. Pink, “When”Book: James Clear, “Atomic Habits”Book: Daniel Coyle, “The Culture Code”CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/

December 12, 2023Episode 621 hr 4 min

The Problem With Striving for Conflict Resolution

#62 - We kick off this week’s episode with a bit of an existential discussion around the use of AI at work and ways it might be able to help teams grow their comfort with conflict. Then, Shane explains the goal of this episode and how it is different from our past episodes about conflict. In this episode, we discuss the stages of conflict. Shane explains what each stage is and how teams go through them at the workplace. He walks through the steps to put a formal conflict process in place, why your goal shouldn’t be to resolve a conflict, and how to get the most out of a conflict. Then, we flip it to the home and talk about the synergy that’s created when you use the conflict process in both environments. If you have follow-up questions, you can always reach us at podcast@culturesmithinc.com. To learn more about today’s topic, visit:https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Show Notes:[00:40] Thoughts on the new AI CEO. [05:00] The potential of using AI to help teams practice conflict. [08:30] How this episode will be talking about conflict and what makes it different from past episodes. [11:50] A quick refresher on task vs relational conflict. [12:30] How to identify a broken conflict system. [20:50] Impacts from ineffective conflict. [23:50] Challenges organizations face when trying to convert conflict into a formal process. [26:15] The first step to take to put in a formal conflict process. [28:30] Step 1: Latent Conflict. [34:20] How do our Cognitive Colours impact a conflict process?[41:23] What causes each stage of conflict to fail to move forward?[51:10] The benefits of using these practices at work and at home in tandem. [57:50] Things to avoid when using this process. Mentioned in this Episode:Sign-up for the Sunday Scaries newsletter: *COMING SOON*Conflict episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/avoiding-conflict-is-eroding-your-team/id1647450164?i=1000614132602 Confrontations episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-power-of-a-conscious-confrontation/id1647450164?i=1000630817724 CultureSmith Inc.: https://www.culturesmithinc.com/Shane Wallace on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shanewallaceculturesmith/ Morgan Berna on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/morgan-berna/