EP. 112 - Clara Roulev - Reparenting Yourself: How to Change the Patterns Childhood Left Behind
Clara Roulev is a Trauma-Informed Certified Peaceful Parenting and Somatic Coach, yoga teacher, and founder of Share Peace Parenting. Her work explores how our early experiences shape our nervous systems, beliefs, and relationships, and how compassionate awareness and embodied practices can help us change patterns that no longer serve us. Clara's approach speaks to a universal human experience: learning to understand ourselves, make room for difficult emotions, and develop the capacity to show up in our relationships with greater presence, compassion, and intention. She believes we can honor where we come from without being limited by what we've inherited. What if the behaviors you judge most harshly in yourself were once the very things that helped you feel safe? In this conversation with Clara, we turn the lens away from parenting children and toward reparenting ourselves. We explore how childhood experiences shape the nervous system, inner critic, relationships, and the beliefs we carry into adulthood, and why simply understanding those patterns intellectually often isn’t enough to change them. Clara explains that many behaviors we now criticize in ourselves may have developed as adaptations to preserve safety, belonging, or connection. We talk about shame, hypervigilance, social anxiety, people-pleasing, emotional reactivity, self-criticism, and the voices we internalize from the people around us. Clara also shares how her own childhood experiences shaped the way she learned to stay small and how those patterns followed her into adulthood. The conversation also gets deeply somatic: why some of us can explain exactly why we feel something while still struggling to actually feel it in the body, how the nervous system responds to emotions that once felt unsafe, and why healing often requires going slowly rather than forcing ourselves deeper. In this episode, we discuss: What it actually means to reparent yourself How childhood experiences shape the nervous system Where the inner critic comes from Why shame blocks curiosity and healing Safety, belonging, and dignity in childhood Why some people learn to shrink themselves How parents’ fears can become our inner voice Why self-awareness alone doesn’t always change behavior Hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, and social anxiety How the body stores emotional patterns Somatic awareness and learning to feel emotions safely Why healing has to happen gradually How to stop letting younger survival parts make adult decisions A simple self-compassion practice for beginning to reparent yourself Plus much more One of the central ideas in this conversation is that the parts of you you’re trying to “fix” may not need punishment at all. They may need to finally hear: I understand why you learned this. You’re safe with me now. Clara’s definition of reparenting is essentially offering ourselves the love, support, understanding, and wise adult presence we may not have received when we needed it most. Follow Clara: Website: https://www.sharepeaceparenting.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sharepeaceparenting/ Let's Connect. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielmcianci/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/DanielMCianci Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@redefiningwisdom Email: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/contact-2/ Website: https://www.redefiningwisdom.com/






