MYBREATHINGMIND

In this episode, we dive into something that impacts everyone's lives: stress. Over the years, I've realized that part of fostering self-love is knowing the difference between helpful and harmful stress, especially given our contradictory cultural messaging around performance.In this episode:The myth that all stress is essentially the same How beneficial stress (eustress) differs fundamentally from harmful stress (distress) Four qualities that make stress actually helpful rather than harmful A perspective shift to recognize whether you're placing yourself in growth-promoting or depleting situationsThe stress of dysfunctional relationships isn't the same as learning a new piece of music. The stress of a toxic workplace isn't the same as strength training. Beneficial stress actually strengthens us - physically, mentally, and emotionally - while harmful stress depletes us.What makes helpful stress actually helpful? It's at an intensity we can handle, it's controlled, it promotes growth, and we have adequate time to recover afterward. Contrast that with harmful stress, which exceeds our capacity, is relentless, weakens us, and offers no recovery time.This episode offers a clear framework for distinguishing between the fire that forges and the fire that burns, helping you make choices that foster genuine wellbeing and growth.Ready to transform your relationship with stress? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.

Think of a trait that you don't like about yourself - something deemed "bad," too vulnerable to show, or not accepted by others. We all have these parts, and we've learned to cast them out, repress them, or tuck them away in the shadows.In this episode:Why rejecting parts of ourselves creates inner division How shadow work isn't about eliminating darkness but understanding its role The perspective that "negative" traits are actually intelligent adaptations A simple practice to explore the wisdom your shadows may holdJust as winter isn't a flaw in the year's design, even though the cold is uncomfortable, our shadow traits serve important purposes. Shadow work isn't about eliminating darkness but understanding its role in our complete self.What if the traits that we find less desirable within ourselves are less character flaws but rather adaptations to the environments we've weathered? Like a plant bending toward light, our shadows emerged as survival strategies - anger becoming a guardian, attention-seeking behaviors preventing invisibility, shyness protecting from harsh judgment.Join me in this exploration of wholeness, where we learn to see all parts of ourselves - the dormancy and growth, the light and shadow - as essential components of who we are.Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.

We live in an over-consumption culture where the modern human seems caught in an endless cycle of wanting more - whether it's shopping, social media, information, food, or experiences. But what drives this constant hunger?In this episode:The underlying belief that we don't have enough How physical hunger differs from emotional, mental, and spiritual hunger Why we use substitutes that can't truly satisfy our deeper needs A simple practice to identify what you're really craving when reaching for comfortOverconsumption isn't the problem but a symptom of something deeper. When we consume beyond what we physically need, we're attempting to fill a void - using food for emotional comfort, scrolling for connection, or shopping for a sense of worth.The pattern extends beyond food to entertainment, information, goods, and even experiences. While being alive requires consumption, nature strives for balance. Overconsumption tilts this balance, creating disorder in both individual and collective wellbeing.Join me in exploring how to recognize what your hunger really craves, and discover pathways to genuine satisfaction rather than temporary relief.Listeners will gain perspective on breaking free from the cycle of overconsumption and finding authentic satisfaction beyond material accumulation.Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.

The episode challenges the very concept of "executive presence," predicting its eventual demise in the corporate lexicon. Why do leaders covet it and managers attempt to teach it when most struggle to define it? The answer lies in our tendency to focus on the external manifestations rather than the internal foundation.Rather than offering formulaic advice on body language or vocal techniques, this episode provides a refreshing perspective on developing genuine confidence that resonates in any setting—whether in the boardroom or beyond. Listeners will walk away with actionable insights on cultivating self-trust that manifests as natural, authentic presence.The word "confidence" comes from Latin - "con" (with) and "fidere" (trust). Self-confidence, at its core, means self-trust. Yet in corporate settings, we've twisted this into something performative, focusing on outward appearance rather than inner trust.In this episode:Why "executive presence" will soon join our museum of cringe-worthy corporate speak How authentic presence stems from genuine self-trust rather than performance The comparison between stage presence and executive presence Three principles for building self-trust that translates into natural confidenceWe've all seen someone attempting to perform confidence - speaking too loudly, using buzzwords, gesticulating awkwardly. We cringe because it's inauthentic. Just as we can spot an impersonator on stage, we can sense when someone's confidence isn't coming from within.True executive presence can't be photocopied; it must be cultivated from within. When the individual engages naturally, their presence feels genuine because they're not trying to manufacture it, it's effortlessly exuding from within.Learn how to build inner confidence the same way you would any trusting relationship - through honesty, reliability, and self-compassion - and discover how to bring these qualities into your professional life.Ready to transform your relationship with yourself? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.

We're kicking off Season 9 and peeling back the layers of self-love beyond the social media-worthy indulgence and pampering. Throughout my coaching practice, I've noticed a common thread weaving through clients' distress - the reluctance to acknowledge their basic needs. In this first episode of our self-love season, we explore why having needs doesn't make you needy.In this episode:Why many of us struggle to identify and meet our own needs How natural self-prioritization gets conditioned out of us The plant metaphor: why we wouldn't judge plants for needing specific conditions A simple experiment to identify your personal requirements for thrivingWe've been socialized to believe having needs equals being needy - so we've learned to operate without them. But this suspension of disbelief has distressing side effects: shame, guilt, resentment, and burnout that erode our best intentions.When we look to the natural world, we see that all living things have specific requirements to flourish. We would never withhold essentials from plants and animals and expect them to thrive. We were born understanding this - no infant comes into the world without self-advocacy. But somewhere along the way, through upbringing and social conditioning, we collected experiences that changed our beliefs.Join me in this exploration of reclaiming the wisdom of your own nature and learning to honor what you need to truly flourish.Ready to transform your relationship with self-love? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.

Episode SummaryIn this season finale exploring purpose and meaning, we dive into the surprising truth about procrastination. Rather than being a simple time management issue, procrastination often signals something deeper—we're avoiding the emotions associated with specific tasks. This episode introduces a three-level framework for understanding time management, revealing why tactical tools and energy optimization strategies often fail to resolve procrastination. Discover how connecting tasks to meaning and purpose can transform your relationship with time and help you overcome the emotional barriers that lead to procrastination.In This Episode:Introduction: Why procrastination isn't just about time management Common misconception: Procrastination as a scheduling problem What's really happening: Procrastination as emotional avoidance Practical shift: Moving to Level 3 time management through purpose Integration exercise and closing thoughtsThe Problem: When Time Management Tools FailIf you struggle with time management, especially in moments when you procrastinate, you might be frustrated by the fact that conventional productivity advice doesn't solve the issue. You've likely tried different planning systems, to-do lists, and scheduling techniques, yet still find yourself putting off important tasks.What's particularly challenging is that procrastination is often labeled as laziness or poor discipline, leading to self-criticism that only makes the problem worse. The conventional approach suggests better systems, more willpower, or productivity hacks.But there's a possibility that time management isn't the issue at all—rather, it's a symptom of something more interesting that's begging for your attention.The Myth: Procrastination Is a Time Management IssueMyth: Procrastination is primarily a time management problem that can be solved with better planning tools and techniques.This myth persists because on the surface, procrastination looks like a scheduling or discipline problem. We see tasks not getting done on time and naturally conclude that better time management would solve the issue.The real cost of believing this myth is that it leads us to apply increasingly sophisticated time management systems to a problem that isn't actually about managing time. This misdirected effort leaves us frustrated and still procrastinating, but now with elaborate, unused planning systems.What's Really Happening: We're Avoiding Emotions, Not TasksStudies show that when we procrastinate, often it's not the thing that we're procrastinating that we're delaying but the emotion that we associate with doing the thing that we're avoiding.For example, it's not the actual picking up the phone, organizing the files, creating the PowerPoint, writing the report, or working out that we're trying to put off. Rather, it's the feelings of frustration, confusion, anxiety, boredom, or regret associated with these tasks that we don't want to experience, and we're protecting ourselves through avoidance and procrastination.This connects to our season's theme of purpose and meaning because procrastination often signals a disconnect between our daily tasks and our deeper values. When we can't see how a task connects to what truly matters to us, we're more likely to put it off.A mindset that continues to block us from overcoming procrastination is believing we can solve it with only Level 1 and Level 2 time management skills:Level 1: Tactical Planning and OrganizingCreating to-do lists Setting priorities and reminders Creating time blocks on the calendar Allocating resources Using systems to stay organized and accountableMastering Level 1 allows you to feel organized and on top of your demands.Level 2: Energy and Attention OptimizationBalancing novelty and deep work to keep your brain engaged Turning off distractions and limiting context switching Incorporating "biohacking" through sleep, diet, exercise Optimizing every second of your dayMastering Level 2 allows you to feel like you're doing more than the average person and ensures that what you have to get done, gets done, and sometimes even more.But these levels alone won't solve procrastination.The Shift: Moving to Level 3 Time ManagementThe shift begins with recognizing that procrastination often signals a need for Level 3 mastery, which requires mindset and heartset shifts. Level 3 explores and resets the thoughts, beliefs, and feelings around the task itself, creating less forcing and more internal energy, motivation, and flow.Level 3 time management is doing what you're doing with intentionality. This requires not only being intentional about blocking your time, honoring your blocked times, and optimizing your time, but also getting clear on why it's important to you in the first place.Try this simple practice:Before approaching a task you've been avoiding, ask yourself: "Why is doing this thing meaningful to me, and how do I approach it in a way that's even more meaningful?" Remind yourself of how this specific task serves your larger purpose. Connecting tasks to greater meaning often fuels us to overcome resistance. Our brain likes to see the bigger picture—it gives us a reason to move forward despite discomfort. If you find there is no greater meaning this task supports, ask yourself: "Why am I doing something that doesn't provide meaning, and what's something more meaningful I can do instead—as the author, director, and creator of my life?"What's most important about Level 3 is putting purpose at the center of your day. What's meaningful and serves your purpose are the "big rocks" that should go in your jar first, followed by smaller rocks, with sand poured in last. This way, purpose is always prioritized.Gold Nugget Insight"Studies show that when we procrastinate, often it's not the thing that we're procrastinating that we're delaying but the emotion that we associate with doing the thing that we're avoiding."This insight transforms our understanding of procrastination from a time management issue to an emotional avoidance pattern. By recognizing that we're avoiding feelings rather than tasks, we can address the root cause rather than implementing increasingly complex productivity systems that don't solve the real problem.Integration ExerciseReflection prompt: Think about a task you've been procrastinating on. What emotion might you be avoiding by not doing this task? Is it frustration, confusion, anxiety, boredom, or something else?Now consider how this task might connect to your larger purpose or what truly matters to you. If you can't find a connection, is this task really necessary in your life?Resources MentionedThe Privilege of Pursuing PurposeWhat's NextThank you for listening to Season 8 of the podcast. As usual, we're taking a few weeks off between seasons. I look forward to sharing our next topic when we begin again in a few weeks.Ready to transform your relationship with productivity? Learn about the path from burnout to clarity designed specifically for professionals navigating sustainable success at mybreathingmind.com.My Breathing Mind Podcast is created for professionals navigating stress, burnout, and the journey back to peace and purpose. All episodes are written and produced by Ruth Kao Barr, burnout specialist, leadership & wellbeing coach.Tags: procrastination, time management, emotional avoidance, purpose, meaning, productivity, professional women, burnout prevention.

A myth, a block, and shift to better understanding how best to use comparison as a tool to serve your purpose

 A myth, a block, and a shift to take your well-being to the next level.

Exploring a myth, a block, and a shift to experiencing inner power. 

Exploring a myth, a block, and a shift to make sense of our purpose when it changes.