HOW I SEE IT

Hosted by Hannah Huante

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167

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Oct 2026

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About the show

motivation, personal interviews, tips/expertise, & REAL life stories with unapologetic, creator Han Huante of @howhanseesit who finds motivation, comfort, & inspiration in hearing personal stories of growth, adversity, and success. new episodes every Tuesday.message from Han: i'm Hannah (Han) and I am the creator behind HOWHANSEESIT: the Blog, Instagram, Tik Tok, and, now, host of How I See It the pod. You may already know me from my social channels, but if you don't, I started blogging in 2017 with a drive to authentically share my life unapologetically and inspire others to do the same through fashion, beauty, & my personal lifestyle while prioritizing transparency, mental health, & realness.On this pod, I will be interviewing people from all different walks of life and all different industries; my hope is that it becomes a place to illuminate people’s interesting and unique stories; their journey, the hardships they've faced, and how they built their career. You can even expect tips and expertise from my guests. Alot of us go through the same experiences... no one is exempt from the human experience. The words "unapologetic", "authentic", "realness"... are words I hope, if you don’t already, you start to associate with my platforms and this podcast. SOCIAL ACCOUNTS: come join the fam xxCONNECT BELOW:follow Han's instagram here follow HOW I SEE IT the pod on Instagram here follow Han's TIK TOK here check out Han's blog here

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October 13, 2026Episode 16758 min

Stop Gaslighting Yourself: Healing Narcissistic Parental Abuse, Confronting Childhood Trauma, Rebuilding Self-Trust, Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment, & Breaking Dating Patterns | Sabrina Zohar

#166: On today's episode, we welcome Sabrina Zohar back to HOW I SEE IT. Sabrina is a dating coach, host of The Sabrina Zohar Show, and author of Why Am I Like This? Together, the girls unpack how our childhood experiences, narcissistic parental dynamics, and unresolved trauma shape the beliefs we hold about ourselves and ultimately the relationships we choose. Sabrina opens up about her personal healing journey, navigating a complicated relationship with her father, learning to move forward without accountability, and what writing her book revealed about herself. From rebuilding self-trust and identifying our "bullshit blueprint" to understanding attachment wounds, unhealthy dating patterns, and the stories beneath our emotional reactions, this conversation explores what it actually takes to break the cycles keeping us stuck. They also get into anxious attachment, the role of shame in our healing, ketamine therapy, and why real change requires more than self-awareness. The girls get into: Narcissistic parents and how it impacts our self trust Healing without closure, accountability, or an apology How our childhood trauma can shape our dating patterns, attachment wounds, and our ability to trust ourselves Identifying your "bullshit blueprint" and breaking unhealthy relationship cycles The beliefs and stories hiding beneath our emotional reactions Anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and why we seek external validation in relationships Shame, self-blame, and learning to forgive past versions of ourselves through inner child healing Why self-awareness isn't enough: taking action and getting uncomfortable are required Ketamine therapy and different healing modalities to address our protector parts What writing Why Am I Like This? taught Sabrina about herself & MORE! This episode is for: Anyone healing from childhood trauma, narcissistic parental abuse, or years of emotional invalidation. For those struggling with anxious attachment, unhealthy dating patterns, or constantly seeking external validation. If you've spent years understanding your trauma but still find yourself repeating the same cycles, this conversation is about rebuilding self-trust, challenging the beliefs keeping you stuck, and getting uncomfortable enough to finally create change. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Sabrina ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow The Sabrina Zohar show ⁠ ⁠ here⁠⁠ Buy Sabrina's book Why Am I Like This? here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

October 6, 2026Episode 1661 hr 4 min

Healing Is Uncomfortable: ADHD & Neurodivergence, Dating With Complex Trauma, Anxious vs. Avoidant Attachment, The Cost of Intellectualizing, & What’s You vs. a Trauma Response | Dr. Jacob Ambrose

#166: On today's episode, Han is joined by psychologist Dr. Jacob Ambrose for a conversation about ADHD, neurodivergence, complex trauma, dating, attachment styles, trauma responses, and why healing often requires us to get deeply uncomfortable. Dr. Jacob explains how growing up feeling different, misunderstood, or repeatedly rejected can shape our identity, our ability to form relationships, and the way we behave when we start dating someone we actually care about. He and Han break down anxious vs. avoidant attachment , why some of us become desperate for closeness while others instinctively pull away, and what people on either side of that spectrum can actually do differently when dating and building healthy relationships. They also talk about why people with ADHD and complex trauma may experience limerence or obsessive relationship patterns, feel chronically unseen, end up in unhealthy or toxic relationships, or struggle to know when they should actually trust their gut. Dr. Jacob and Han also unpack intellectualizing your emotions , the difference between understanding your patterns and actually changing them, and one of the hardest questions that can come up during the healing process: What is actually me, and what is a trauma response? We get into: ADHD, neurodivergence, and growing up feeling different How repeated micro-rejections can impact identity and self-worth Missed ADHD, depression, shame, and feeling misunderstood Dating and forming relationships with complex trauma Anxious vs. avoidant attachment in dating Why anxious attachment can make us desperate for closeness Why avoidant attachment can make us pull away when intimacy increases What anxious and avoidant people can actually do differently when dating What is limerance? Why people with complex trauma can feel chronically unseen Why complex trauma can make it difficult to trust your gut The cost of intellectualizing your emotions instead of feeling them Why understanding your trauma isn’t always the same thing as healing it What’s authentically you vs. what may be a trauma response Why healing and self-growth require discomfort Creating healthier experiences of love, intimacy, and connection & MORE! This episode is for you if you have ADHD or identify as neurodivergent, are dating or trying to form healthier relationships while healing complex trauma, struggle with anxious or avoidant attachment, or are trying to understand what is authentically you versus what may be a trauma response. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Dr Jacob ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Dr Jacob here Listen to his podcast Two Dudes Talking Therapy here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

September 29, 2026Episode 1651 hr 2 min

Follow Your Whimsy: Therapy & the Grief of Healing, Burnout & Perfectionism, Killing Your Ego, Letting Go of Control, & Learning to Trust The Unfolding of Your Life | Christina Kirkman

#165: On today's episode, Han is joined by actress, comedian, creator, and the podcast host of Life's A Joke , Christina Kirkman, for a conversation about therapy, burnout, perfectionism, killing your ego, letting go of control, and learning to trust the unfolding of your life. Christina opens up about how she entered the entertainment industry, and how her relationship with expressing herself started, evolved, and has grown. She and Han talk about starting therapy, and the grief that can come with healing. They also get into using work, creativity, and humor to cope, what happens when burnout catches up with even the most driven people, and why sometimes the biggest shift comes from loosening your grip on the life you thought you were supposed to have. Christina shares how she reached a point where the version of success she had been chasing stopped working, forcing her to kill her ego, start showing up online, and allow her creativity to evolve into something she never originally planned for. The girls get into: Growing up in entertainment and Christina’s early start on All That How our relationship with self-expression changes as we get older Starting therapy, and the grief that can come with healing Why therapy can hurt before it starts to feel freeing Perfectionism, ambition, and the inability to admit defeat Why burnout eventually catches up with even the most driven people Using work and creativity to cope with what’s happening underneath Humor as both a coping mechanism and survival tactic Why you can’t outrun your triggers or your own mind Killing your ego and surrendering the version of success you thought you were supposed to have Letting go of control and allowing life to unfold differently than you planned What happened when Christina stopped trying to be the version of herself Hollywood wanted Building an influencing and creator career she never originally planned for Following life’s calling instead of gripping onto your own definition of success Why violating your authenticity eventually shows up in your body, mind, and spirit Reconciling with the fact that you may not get to do everything you dreamed of Following your whimsy and trusting where it leads This episode is for you if: You’ve always been driven, ambitious, or deeply attached to a certain version of what your life and success were supposed to look like. If you’re navigating burnout, learning how to loosen your grip on control, grieving old versions of yourself, or realizing that the path you planned may not actually be the one meant for you, this conversation is for you. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Christina ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Life's A Joke ⁠ here⁠ Listen to Life's A Joke here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

September 22, 2026Episode 16431 min

I Made an Expensive Mistake: NYFW Recap, the Illusion of Success, Confronting My Ego, Redefining Ambition, Influencer Culture, & Questioning What We Actually Want | Solo Episode

#164: On today’s solo episode, Han is back from New York Fashion Week, after making some really expensive entrepreneurial mistakes and leaving New York feeling more disillusioned with the influencer industry than ever. Han is popping the bubble on the things we put on pedestals and questioning everything we've been taught to believe about success. We all have these imaginary markers of success. The things we convince ourselves we need to achieve, the rooms we think we need to be in, and the milestones we assume will finally make us feel like we've made it. But how much of what we're chasing is what we genuinely want, and how much of it is simply what we've been taught successful people are supposed to want? From the realities of influencer culture to confronting her own desire for fame, Han gets honest about the expectations we create for ourselves, the relationship between ego and ambition, and what happens when the things we've spent years putting on pedestals turn out to be very different from what we imagined. Han gets into: The expensive entrepreneurial mistakes she made during New York Fashion Week (including hiring PR) Popping the bubble on the things we put on pedestals in our careers The imaginary markers of success we create in our heads Why we equate certain achievements, recognition, and status with having "made it" The realities of influencer culture and why followers don't equal money Wanting to be famous and the deeper desire to feel seen and heard The relationship between ego, ambition, and external validation The difference between making a mistake and letting effect your perception on your self worth Questioning whether you're chasing what you genuinely want or what you've been taught to want Redefining success without giving up your ambition & MORE! This episode is for: The highly ambitious women navigating entrepreneurship, self-worth, and the uncomfortable parts of the healing journey that force us to confront our own ego. For anyone questioning what success actually looks like for them, learning to separate their self-worth from their accomplishments, or realizing that the life they've been working so hard to build might not actually be the life they want. Episode Chapters: 00:00 New York chewed me up and spit me out 04:07 The reality of influencer culture 06:55 My expensive entrepreneurial mistakes 09:16 Are we chasing the wrong things? 12:23 Fame, ego, and wanting to be seen 23:07 Making mistakes vs. having regrets CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

September 8, 2026Episode 16358 min

Stop Trying to Earn Love: Breaking Dating Patterns, Why We Stay in Situationships, Building Self-Worth, Healing Childhood Wounds, & Trusting You’ll Find Your Person | Serena Kerrigan

#163: On today’s episode, Serena Kerrigan , founder of Let’s F cking Date and author of Let’s Fcking Date: Become the Prize, Enjoy the Ride, and Never Settle Again , jumps on the podcast to talk about dating, self-worth, situationships, confidence, boundaries, and what it actually takes to stop trying to earn love. Serena gets incredibly honest about her own healing journey, the childhood wounds that followed her into her adult relationships, and the core wound underneath the over-the-top, performative version of herself she became known for. She opens up about building an entire brand around confidence and dating while privately struggling to believe she was deserving of a healthy relationship, and what finally forced her to look at the parts of herself she had spent years avoiding. The girls unpack how our wounds shape the way we date, the relationships we choose, and the versions of ourselves we become in an attempt to feel loved. The girls get into: Why trying to earn love can keep us attracted to people who reinforce what we already believe about ourselves How she leaned on an over-the-top, performative version of yourself as a form of protection—and what was really underneath “Serena Fucking Kerrigan” The difference between being afraid of being alone and being afraid of actually being loved Serena’s equine therapy experience and the moment she realized there were things she still wasn’t fully dealing with Confidence vs. performance, and why being wildly confident in your career doesn’t mean you won’t self-abandon in relationships Why chaos, volatility, inconsistency, and the push-pull dynamic can feel like chemistry when your core wound is rooted in earning and seeking love Situationships, ghosting, dating boundaries, and why Serena believes follow-through matters more than overanalyzing someone’s behavior What it looks like to date from abundance rather than scarcity and the fear that there are “no good men left” Why “nice guys finish last” is terrible dating advice—and why kindness and consistency should be the bare minimum The pressure of the biological clock, the fear of running out of time, and why settling for the wrong relationship can cost you more in the long run The difference between wanting a boyfriend and actually waiting for your person The importance in addressing your past trauma, pursuing healing, and taking action even when its uncomfortable & MORE This episode is for you if you keep repeating the same dating patterns and don’t understand why; you’ve ever felt like you had to become a bigger, louder, more confident version of yourself to feel worthy; or you’ve confused chasing someone with chemistry. It’s for you if you’re ready to stop trying to earn love and start choosing relationships from self-worth. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Serena here Buy Serena’s book here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

September 1, 2026Episode 16258 min

Fail and Fail Hard: The Mindset It Takes to Succeed, Building 4AM, Navigating Anxiety, Taking Risks, Drowning Out the Noise, & Pursuing More | Jade Beguelin & Sabrina Sade

#162: On today’s episode, Jade Beguelin and Sabrina Sade , co-founders of 4AM , join me to talk about entrepreneurship, resilience, overcoming fear of failure, managing anxiety, trusting yourself, and continuing to build even when you have no guarantee it’s going to work. After five years of building 4AM, Jade and Sabrina recently launched their skincare brand across over 1700 Target locations and raised over $4 million, but only weeks before launching Clean Sheets, they were having very real conversations about whether it would even work out! We talk about moving the needle even in uncertainty, the illusion of the “overnight success”, the mindset shifts that helped them keep going, and what it takes mentally and emotionally to pursue an ambitious life when there is constantly something on the line. The girls get into: The five years behind 4AM’s success Building a business when you don’t know if it’s going to work What it truly means to “fail" Overcoming fear of failure and making imperfect decisions Managing anxiety in high-pressure situations Raising $4M while preparing for a major Target launch Building resilience when entrepreneurship starts to feel overwhelming Learning whose criticism actually deserves your attention Why other people’s negativity is often projection Signs it’s time to leave your corporate job Developing self-trust when other people don’t understand your decisions Why ambitious women have to get comfortable being misunderstood The difference between wanting something and actually doing the work Why there usually isn’t a “secret sauce” to success Taking risks when the safer path no longer feels aligned Giving yourself more without losing your ambition How the girls leveraged Tik Tok as their growth strategy Reminders when it comes to prioritizing your health and mental health while building a company & MORE This episode is for anyone pursuing more, building something of their own, navigating anxiety while chasing big goals, questioning whether they should keep going, or learning how to trust themselves through seasons where the outcome still feels uncertain! CONNECT BELOW: Follow Jade here Follow Sabrina here Follow 4am here Shop 4am here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ Work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

August 25, 2026Episode 16146 min

Your Worth Is Not Measured by How Much You Can Suffer: Breaking Unhealthy Relationship Patterns, Healing Childhood Trauma, Going No Contact, Setting Boundaries, & More | Meg Reynolds

#161: On this week's episode, Han sits down with Meg Reynolds , host of Not The Girl Next Door Podcast , for a raw conversation about what it actually looks like to heal loudly, break the relationship patterns we learned in childhood, and finally choose ourselves. Meg opens up about leaving an abusive relationship, and recognizing the patterns that kept pulling her toward emotionally unavailable people. The girls talk about childhood trauma, specifically what it looks like to navigate going no contact with a parent, and why sometimes the strongest expression of self-worth is having enough courage to walk away. The girls get into: What it actually means to heal loudly Why silence can keep us stuck in suffering Healing after an abusive relationship Repeating unhealthy relationship patterns Dating emotionally unavailable people How relationships can mirror our unhealed wounds Going no contact with a parent Why no contact is a boundary—not a punishment Setting boundaries with people you love Raising your standards in dating Why women sometimes treat men like projects Why your worth is not determined by how much pain you can endure Letting go of the need to fix someone Having enough courage to walk away & MORE! This episode is for anyone who is trying to understand their relationship patterns, healing from childhood trauma, struggling to walk away from someone they love, navigating boundaries or no contact with family, or learning that choosing yourself is not the same thing as giving up. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Meg ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠ here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Not The Girl Next Door Podcast here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

August 18, 2026Episode 16053 min

If You Want a Village, Be a Villager: Betting on Yourself, Building Confidence, Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Improvement, Building Community , Refusing to Take No for an Answer, & More | Taylor King

#160: On this episode of HOW I SEE IT, Han sits down with content creator, podcast host, and YouTuber Taylor King for a conversation about what it actually looks like to build confidence, bet on yourself, and create a life that feels aligned, through your career, your relationships, your community, and the way you show up for yourself. Taylor and Han talk about why confidence is built through keeping promises to yourself, and why sometimes hearing “no” just means finding another way forward. They get into embracing discomfort, taking risks without making failure feel so high-stakes, and learning to trust that you’ll figure things out along the way. The girls also unpack the nuance between self-acceptance and self-improvement—especially when it comes to body image, beauty, and taking agency over the things that are actually within your control. Taylor shares her experience struggling to post herself online. They also talk about the relationships that have shaped Taylor’s career, why so many opportunities come from simply being someone people trust and feel seen by. Taylor, also, opens up about building a life she loved before finding her relationship. The girls get into: Building confidence by keeping promises to yourself Betting on yourself even when the outcome isn’t guaranteed Why hearing “no” doesn’t have to mean you’re on the wrong path Taking action instead of spiraling when something doesn’t work out Why discomfort is necessary for growth Self-acceptance vs. self-improvement Body image, beauty, and taking agency over how you want to look and feel Separating your appearance from your self-worth Building a career through genuine relationships and connection Building the community you want by showing up for other people Creating a full life before finding a relationship Wanting a partner without centering your entire life around one Influencer icks, relationship hard launches, and what should stay offline & MORE This episode is for anyone who needs a confidence boost, wants to feel inspired to go after their goals, is looking to build stronger community and relationships, is learning how to bet on themselves, or just feels uninspired to bet on themselves. CONNECT BELOW: Follow TK ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Onze here Follow TK on Youtube here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com

August 11, 2026Episode 15926 min

Success Is in Staying Present: How to Build Discipline, What to Do When Motivation Falters, Taking Action vs. Procrastination, Building Self-Trust, Staying Consistent & Creating Success

#159: On today’s episode, Han jumps on for a SOLO episode all about discipline: how to build success, why discipline is a skill you can actually develop, and how staying present can completely change the way you view discipline as you approach personal growth, success, and your mental health. Han gets into one of the questions she gets asked most: how do you stay so motivated? The truth is, she doesn’t. Motivation comes and goes. But when motivation falters, discipline is something you can learn to rely on. She breaks down why she doesn’t believe disciplined people are simply born that way, why discipline is a skill that can be strengthened and flexed over time, and why so much of building discipline comes down to staying present and learning to keep promises to yourself. Han gets into: Why discipline matters more than motivation How discipline can actually be developed and strengthened over time Why consistency often matters more than talent, intelligence, or qualification Building confidence and self-trust by keeping small promises to yourself Why the promises you make to yourself don’t need to be massive to create meaningful change Creating consistency through small, low-stakes daily actions Why staying present is one of the most important parts of becoming disciplined How constantly thinking about where you “should” be can make it harder to take action The pressure to be more successful, make more money, feel more healed, or be further along than you are Why obsessing over the end goal can actually work against your personal growth How to know where you’re going without thinking about the destination every single day Focusing on what actually moves the needle forward today How small, consistent actions compound over time Adjusting your expectations of what the journey toward success is supposed to look and feel like Learning to trust yourself and the process even when you can’t see immediate results Small ways that Han stays disciplined in her mental health and wellnesss routines & MORE! This episode is for anyone who is struggling to stay consistent, who's procrastinating on taking action, or feeling overwhelmed by how far they still have to go. If you’re working toward becoming more successful, mentally well, confident, disciplined, or simply becoming someone you can rely on, this episode is a reminder to know where you’re going, come back to today, and trust that what you do consistently will compound over time. CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 — Discipline, Success & Staying Present 00:30 — Welcome Back / Feeling Better 01:45 — Why I’m Talking About Discipline 02:13 — Motivation vs. Discipline 03:15 — Discipline Is a Skill You Can Develop 03:35 — Why Consistent Action Creates Success 04:15 — Building Confidence by Keeping Small Promises 04:43 — Why Success Requires Staying Present 05:53 — Stop Living in the “Helicopter View” 06:11 — Why Obsessing Over the End Goal Makes Discipline Harder 07:20 — Daily Action & the Compound Effect 08:07 — Changing Your Expectations of the Journey 09:26 — Starting Before You Have Everything Figured Out 09:46 — Procrastination, Overthinking & Getting Stuck in the Big Picture 11:46 — How I Build Discipline in Business 12:44 — Structure, Scheduling & Staying Organized 13:55 — The Daily To-Do List & Keeping Promises to Yourself 17:04 — Discipline in Mental Health & Therapy 18:03 — Discipline With Fitness & Physical Health 19:37 — Supplements, Skincare & Everyday Commitments 21:40 — The Compound Effect Beyond Money 22:50 — Anyone Can Build Discipline 24:26 — The Real Key: Showing Up for Yourself 24:40 — Why Success Is in the Journey, Not the End Goal 25:00 — Applying Discipline to Healing, Happiness & Being Present 25:31 — Final Thoughts 26:01 — Outro

August 4, 2026Episode 15856 min

You Have to Be Delusional: How to Reprogram Your Mind, Navigating Sobriety, Break Free from People-Pleasing, Take Accountability, & Decenter Men | MJ Gray

#158: On today’s episode, Han sits down with MJ Gray, content creator and host of the Maneater podcast, as she shares her personal healing journey: discovering the power of her mind and learning how to reprogram the beliefs that had shaped her life. After years of trying to get sober, and living through what she describes as a continuous dark night of the soul, MJ realized sobriety would require more than willpower. MJ and Han unpack manifestation, addiction, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-love, accountability, decentering men, and why accepting the discomfort of life may be the key to finally finding peace. The girls get into: the power of your mind and reprogramming deeply rooted beliefs and childhood conditioning Why changing your life can initially feel irrational or delusional How addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms can change forms MJ’s spiritual awakening and relationship with manifestation Using meditation and mindset to create a different reality How the expectation to always be happy makes us unhappy Taking accountability for your healing without invalidating your trauma Moving beyond victimhood while maintaining compassion for yourself Letting go of guilt, jealousy, anger, and self-hatred Healing patterns created by narcissistic or emotionally unhealthy parents Breaking free from people pleasing and the need to be liked Learning to genuinely love yourself and embrace who you are How unresolved trauma can recreate familiar relationships Decentering men and creating fulfillment outside of relationships & MORE! This episode is for anyone navigating sobriety, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-doubt, or a difficult mental health journey. It is for the woman learning how to reprogram negative beliefs. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:00 — Introduction 00:05:32 — Getting existential and questioning everything 00:05:44 — How sobriety led MJ to social media 00:06:18 — The desire to feel seen and understood 00:06:48 — MJ’s sobriety journey 00:07:05 — Experiencing a continuous dark night of the soul 00:09:58 — Why addiction can change forms 00:10:26 — Coping with the discomfort of being human 00:11:17 — Why expecting constant happiness makes us unhappy 00:12:26 — Childhood trauma, victimhood, and personal accountability 00:14:33 — Falling down, trying again, and releasing guilt 00:15:07 — Why guilt can create more self-hatred 00:15:41 — MJ’s spiritual awakening after getting sober 00:16:16 — Discovering meditation and spirituality 00:16:55 — Relapse and discovering the power of the mind 00:17:28 — Applying manifestation and mindset to sobriety 00:17:44 — The day MJ quit drinking and smoking 00:18:12 — Convincing herself she no longer liked alcohol 00:19:03 — Reprogramming beliefs created by a narcissistic parent 00:20:00 — Why transforming your life can feel delusional 00:20:57 — Resetting your childhood programming 00:23:25 — Does MJ care what other people think? 00:24:10 — Why people pleasing never worked 00:24:53 — Self-love, insecurity, and genuinely liking yourself 00:25:19 — Learning to water the lawn you already have 00:25:44 — Releasing the things you cannot control 00:26:07 — Why peace has to begin within you 00:27:13 — Life gets easier to carry 00:28:56 — Where your attention goes, your energy flows 00:29:17 — Moving beyond rumination and self-pity 00:29:35 — Why traumatic patterns can feel like home 00:30:04 — Taking accountability for repeated patterns 00:34:08 — Why women need to start decentering men 00:34:47 — Creating fulfillment outside of relationships 00:35:56 — Loving men without centering them 00:36:12 — The risks women face within relationships 00:36:34 — Expecting romantic partners to add value to your life CONNECT BELOW Follow MJ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠ ⁠ here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow MANEATER here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ work with Han: howhanseesit@gmail.com