We Chat Divorce Podcast

Hosted by My Divorce Solution

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211

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Jun 2026

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About the show

Divorce is emotional — but it’s also financial. We Chat Divorce helps you understand both. Join hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, co-founders of My Divorce Solution, for expert divorce insights, real stories, and proven financial strategies that turn fear into focus, focus into knowledge, and knowledge into power. Whether you’re just considering divorce, in the middle of it, or rebuilding after, you’ll learn how to protect your finances, make informed decisions, and move forward with clarity and confidence. The #1 podcast for financial divorce preparation, empowerment, and real talk about money, marriage, and moving on.

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June 10, 202635 min

199. Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce: What Every Divorcing Person Needs to Know, with Renee Turner

When people think about divorce, they often assume they can just "choose" an uncontested process. But what most people don't realize is that uncontested divorce requires more than goodwill — it requires preparation, financial transparency, and a clear understanding of your legal rights. Without that foundation, the most well-intentioned divorces can quickly become expensive, adversarial, and emotionally devastating. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan are joined by Renee Turner, family and matrimonial attorney and founder of Thoughtful Lawyering in New York. Renee draws on more than 13 years of legal experience to walk listeners through what uncontested and contested divorce actually mean — not just in theory, but in practice. From financial disclosure requirements and New York's maintenance cap to prenuptial agreements and co-parenting dynamics, this conversation covers the legal landscape that every divorcing person needs to understand. Catherine brings in the financial preparation angle, explaining how the MDS Financial Portrait gives clients the verified financial clarity they need to confidently enter — or switch out of — an uncontested process. Together with Renee, Karen and Catherine reinforce one of the most empowering messages in divorce: you are the employer. Your legal and financial professionals work for you. In This Episode The legal definition of uncontested vs. contested divorce in New York Why the court system's scheduling creates delays — and how the uncontested process avoids them What a marital settlement agreement is and when it's negotiated New York's maintenance cap and how lifestyle analysis can change the final number Financial disclosure in uncontested divorce: what is required, what can be waived, and what you're risking by waiving it The myth of "I know what we have" — why most clients discover gaps once the process starts How to switch from uncontested to contested (and back) — and when it makes sense Why you should never sign any document without fully understanding it How the uncontested process protects children from courtroom involvement What it means to be the employer of your attorney — and why asking questions is your right Key Takeaways Uncontested divorce requires agreement on all major issues: property, custody, support, and maintenance — without a judge deciding for you. You can always switch from uncontested to contested if you feel your rights are not protected. Don't let fear of "starting over" trap you. Financial preparation — verified, document-supported clarity about what you have — is what makes uncontested divorce truly safe and successful. New York's maintenance cap is not the final word. Lifestyle analysis and standard of living can support amounts above the cap. Never waive financial disclosure without knowing exactly what you're giving up — and having documentation to support that decision. You are the employer of every professional you hire during your divorce. Question everything. Ask for clarity. Take the time you need. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June 3, 202633 min

198. Divorce Settlement Agreement: What It Covers and How to Protect Yourself

A divorce settlement agreement may be the most important document you'll sign during your divorce—and one of the least understood. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan unpack what a Divorce Settlement Agreement (also known as a Marital Settlement Agreement or MSA) actually covers, why so many costly mistakes happen at this stage, and how to protect yourself before signing anything final. While mediation and negotiations may produce broad settlement terms, the formal agreement is where those terms become legally enforceable. Unfortunately, many people discover after the fact that critical financial details were never fully addressed. Missing assets, vague language, overlooked tax consequences, retirement account errors, and unrealistic real estate provisions can create expensive problems long after the divorce is finalized. Karen and Catherine explain why understanding the financial implications behind every provision matters just as much as understanding the legal language. They share real-world examples of agreements that appeared fair in the moment but later created confusion, conflict, and unintended financial consequences. If you're approaching mediation, reviewing a settlement proposal, or preparing to sign a Marital Settlement Agreement, this episode will help you understand what questions to ask before making one of the most important financial decisions of your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 27, 202637 min

197. Thinking About Divorce? What to Know Before You Decide, with Guest Cindy Stibbard

If divorce is something you've been thinking about — even quietly, even just as a possibility — this episode is for you. Karen and Catherine sit down with Cindy Stibbard, certified relationship and divorce coach and creator of the Relationship Audit, to explore what it looks like to approach one of life's hardest decisions with intention, preparation, and clarity rather than fear or reaction. Too many people wait until they're in crisis before they start gathering information. But there's a better path. Cindy shares how her research-backed Relationship Audit helps individuals get an honest, data-driven picture of where their relationship stands across 12 core areas — from values alignment and emotional safety to finances, intimacy, and trust. When paired with the MDS Financial Portrait, people have both the emotional and financial picture they need to make a truly informed decision: whether that means investing in their marriage, pursuing a post-nuptial agreement, or moving toward divorce with a clear and intentional plan. The conversation also covers why how you begin the divorce process determines so much of what follows — from legal cost to co-parenting outcomes — and why getting the right experts involved early (financial first, hen legal) changes everything. Whether you're still deciding or already preparing, this episode gives you the tools and perspective to move forward thoughtfully. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 21, 202626 min

196. Divorce Mediation, Settlement Conferences, and Court Hearings: How to Walk In Prepared

Divorce mediation, settlement conferences, and court-mandated hearings are among the most searched — and most misunderstood — steps in the divorce process. People want to know what to bring, what happens in the room, and what it means if things don’t settle. But there’s a critical piece most people miss: mediation is not the place to discover you don’t have the documents, don’t understand the numbers, or don’t know whether the proposed settlement actually works for your future. In this episode of Divorce Explored, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan break down what these meetings actually are, what the mediator’s role really is (and isn’t), and why financial preparation before mediation can change the entire trajectory of your divorce. They also pull back the curtain on the pressure tactics that often show up at the end of mediation — the threat of trial, high retainer demands, and even attorney withdrawal — and explain why the only real protection against that pressure is walking in financially prepared. In This Episode The difference between voluntary mediation, attorney-recommended mediation, and court-mandated settlement conferences What the mediator, judge, and conference officer can and cannot do with your financial information Why “exchanged” doesn’t mean “verified” — and why that gap is where costly mistakes happen A real spreadsheet this week that was $400,000 off — and what that means in mediation The pressure tactics that appear at the end of mediation and how to be ready for them Why fear and exhaustion are not settlement strategies How the MDS Financial Portrait changes the quality of the conversation before you walk in Key Takeaways Mediation is not magic. It does not create financial clarity — it reveals where clarity is missing. The mediator’s job is to get you to a settlement, not to verify your numbers or find what’s missing. The better question going in is not “Can we agree?” It’s “Do we understand what we’re agreeing to?” Fear is not a settlement strategy. Exhaustion is not a settlement strategy. If you’re calling for help two days before mediation, reschedule. Want to go deeper? Read the companion blog post: What to Bring to Divorce Mediation — and Why Financial Preparation Changes Everything Download this episode’s free companion resource: The Mediation Readiness Checklist — six things to know before you walk into that room. Visit mydivorcesolution.com to learn how the MDS Financial Portrait helps clients prepare for mediation, settlement conferences, and the financial decisions that shape their future. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 13, 202643 min

195. The Cost of Quiet: Reclaiming Your Voice, Financial Clarity & Emotional Safety in Divorce

What happens when silence becomes survival? In this deeply personal and powerful episode of My Divorce Solution’s We Chat Divorce, co-founders Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with licensed psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author Colette Jane Fehr for a conversation about emotional suppression, financial vulnerability, and the hidden cost of staying quiet in marriage and divorce. Colette shares her own divorce story — from a marriage that looked “perfect” on the outside to navigating emotional disconnection, postpartum anxiety, financial uncertainty, and fear-driven decision-making during divorce. Together, they unpack how silence often shows up as avoidance, people-pleasing, emotional suppression, and fear of conflict — especially for women navigating major financial and life decisions. This episode explores why so many people stay quiet about money, avoid difficult conversations, and enter divorce negotiations without fully understanding their financial reality. The discussion also highlights the emotional patterns that keep people from advocating for themselves — and how financial clarity can become one of the most empowering tools in divorce preparation. You’ll hear honest conversations about: Emotional safety and communication in marriage Fear of asking financial questions The connection between silence and financial vulnerability Why financial clarity changes negotiation outcomes The danger of making decisions from survival mode Reclaiming your voice during divorce Building emotional and financial independence after divorce How unresolved patterns from childhood impact adult relationships Why preparation matters before legal negotiations begin Colette also discusses her new book, The Cost of Quiet, which explores how self-silencing impacts relationships, emotional health, and personal empowerment — and how learning to communicate directly and vulnerably can change the trajectory of your life. Throughout the episode, Karen and Catherine reinforce a core message of MDS: Divorce is a legal process — but financial in impact. This conversation is for anyone: Considering divorce Feeling financially overwhelmed Afraid to ask questions Struggling to advocate for themselves Trying to decide whether to stay or leave Wanting to prepare before making major legal or financial decisions If you’ve been living in silence, this episode is a reminder: You are allowed to ask questions. You are allowed to gather information. You are allowed to reclaim your voice — at your own pace. Learn More About Colette Jane Fehr Colette Jane Fehr Official Website The Cost of Quiet About My Divorce Solution My Divorce Solution helps individuals and families prepare financially for divorce through expert analysis, verified financial data, and strategic preparation before negotiations begin. Their signature process, the Divorce Financial Portrait™, provides clarity around assets, liabilities, income, expenses, and settlement scenarios so clients can make informed, confident decisions during divorce. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

May 6, 202638 min

194. Divorce Explored: Alimony and Spousal Support Explained: How It's Really Calculated

Episode Summary Alimony is not a formula. It’s not a calculator output. It’s not what your friend got. In this episode, Karen and Catherine explain what actually goes into evaluating spousal support — and why financial clarity before negotiation is the difference between a settlement that holds up and one that falls apart in six months. The Right First Question Most people ask: “What number should I expect?” The better question is: what financial information needs to be in place before this conversation can responsibly happen at all? Support is not a number. It’s a relationship between two households after divorce. Until you understand both households, any number is a guess wearing a lab coat. What Really Drives Alimony Spousal support analysis depends on more than a W-2. Key factors include: • Length of the marriage and marital lifestyle • Full income picture: bonuses, commissions, K-1s, distributions, equity comp, passive income • Post-divorce expenses for each household • Assets — which produce cash flow vs. which just sit there • Debts each spouse is taking on • Earning capacity and time out of the workforce Property division and support are the same conversation, not separate rooms. What someone keeps — and what it costs to keep it — directly affects what support has to look like. Why Calculators Only Get You Partway There Online spousal support calculators are a starting point — not a strategy. They don’t verify documents, review bank statements, or account for variable income. They don’t know whether bonuses repeat, whether income is partially held inside a business, or whether the lifestyle being used as a baseline was funded with debt. Calculators are only as good as the data going in. In divorce, the data going in is almost never complete on day one. How Long Does Alimony Last? Duration depends on state law, marriage length, type of support, and more — your attorney is the right guide there. But the more useful financial question is: what happens when it ends? Scenario modeling shows both households month by month, year by year, so cliffs and gaps surface before the settlement is signed — not six months after. The Documents That Matter Most • 3 years of personal tax returns (with all schedules and K-1s) • 12 months of bank and credit card statements • Paystubs and bonus history for both spouses • Business tax returns, P&Ls, and distribution records (if applicable) • Current statements for every account: retirement, investment, loans, equity comp Without these, you’re negotiating from memory. With them, you can start asking the right questions. In This Episode • Why the support number is the tip of the iceberg • How business income hides inside W-2s and distributions • Why AI tools and calculators are education, not analysis • How scenario modeling changes negotiation from fear to information • A practical document checklist to start gathering this week My Divorce Solution has helped 5,000+ clients across all 50 states gain financial clarity during divorce through the MDS Financial Portrait™ and the We Chat Divorce podcast. www.mydivorce-solution.com This episode is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

April 29, 202631 min

193. Divorce Documentation: Turn Chaos Into Court-Ready Proof

This episode of We Chat Divorce dives into a critical but often misunderstood reality of high-conflict divorce: truth alone is not enough—how you organize and present information is what ultimately matters. Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan are joined by family court strategist Courtney Gil Martin, who shares her firsthand experience navigating nearly a decade of post-divorce litigation. Together, they unpack why so many individuals feel frustrated in court despite having “proof,” and how disorganized documentation, emotional overwhelm, and lack of strategy can weaken even valid claims. The conversation reframes documentation as more than just saving emails or journaling experiences—it’s about building a structured, usable system that supports your case, your attorney, and ultimately the court. Courtney emphasizes the importance of creating a centralized “case hub,” where timelines, evidence, and financial records are organized in a way that allows for quick access, clear narratives, and strategic use. This approach not only strengthens credibility but can also reduce legal costs by making it easier for professionals to advocate effectively on your behalf. Karen and Catherine connect this concept directly to the financial side of divorce, highlighting a key distinction: not all information leads to a meaningful outcome. Emotional events, past behaviors, or even perceived injustices may feel important, but without a clear purpose or legal relevance, they can create distraction rather than impact. Instead, they encourage listeners to focus on what data actually supports their goals—whether that’s custody, financial settlement, or long-term stability—and to approach documentation with intention, not reaction. Ultimately, this episode reinforces a powerful message: confidence in divorce comes from clarity, not emotion. When you are grounded in facts—organized, accessible, and aligned with a defined outcome—you shift the power dynamic. You’re no longer reacting to the situation; you’re leading it. And in a system where time is limited and decisions carry lasting consequences, that level of preparation can make all the difference in protecting your future. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

April 22, 202629 min

192. Divorce Explored: How to Prepare for Divorce Financially When Your Spouse Controls the Money

In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan unpack one of the most common—and costly—realities in divorce: financial blind spots within a marriage. Inspired in part by the broader conversation sparked by the popular book Strangers: a Memoir of Marriage , this discussion moves beyond the emotional narrative and into the financial truth many individuals face when divorce becomes real. Because while the emotional impact often gets the attention, it’s the lack of financial clarity that can have lasting consequences. Through real client experiences, Karen and Catherine reveal how often individuals enter divorce without a clear understanding of their financial picture. Unknown accounts, overlooked debts, and incomplete visibility aren’t signs of irresponsibility—they’re the result of financial roles that “worked” until they didn’t. The problem is, once divorce begins, you’re no longer living within the system—you’re being asked to evaluate, explain, and divide it. This episode reinforces a core principle: being financially supported is not the same as being financially informed. Without clarity, decisions are made under pressure, legal costs increase, and long-term outcomes can suffer. That’s why My Divorce Solution focuses on financial clarity before legal action—organizing, verifying, and analyzing your full financial picture so you can move forward with confidence, not confusion. About My Divorce Solution We Chat Divorce is produced by My Divorce Solution (MDS) — a financial divorce preparation company dedicated to helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and a strategic financial plan. Founded by Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison, and Catherine Shanahan, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), MDS was created to solve one of the most common and costly mistakes in divorce: entering the legal process without fully understanding your financial picture. Divorce is not just a legal event — it is a financial transition that can shape your long-term security. Through the MDS Divorce Financial Portrait™, clients receive expert financial analysis, organized financial disclosures, and scenario planning to understand how different settlement decisions impact their future. This financial preparation often reduces legal fees, shortens the divorce process, and helps individuals negotiate from a position of knowledge rather than fear.If you are considering divorce or already in the process, you can begin by taking the Free Divorce Financial Assessment to better understand your options. You can also join the MDS Community for expert guidance, educational resources, and live Q&A events designed to help you move from uncertainty to clarity. At My Divorce Solution, the mission is simple: replace fear with knowledge so you can make informed, confident financial decisions during divorce. DisclaimerThe We Chat Divorce podcast (hereinafter referred to as the “WCD”) represents the opinions of Catherine Shanahan, Karen Chellew, and their guests to the show. WCD should not be considered professional or legal advice. The content here is for informational purposes only. Views and opinions expressed on WCD are our own and do not represent that of our places of work.WCD should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever. Listeners should contact their attorney to obtain advice with respect to any particular legal matter. No listener should act or refrain from acting on the basis of information on WCD without first seeking legal advice from counsel in the relevant jurisdiction. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on WCD.Unless specifically stated otherwise, Catherine Shanahan and Karen Chellew do not endorse, approve, recommend, or certify any information, product, process, service, or organization presented or mentioned on WCD, and information from this podcast should not be referenced in any way to imply such approval or endorsement. The third-party materials or content of any third-party site referenced on WCD do not necessarily reflect the opinions, standards or policies of Catherine Shanahan or Karen Chellew.WCD, CATHERINE SHANAHAN, AND KAREN CHELLEW EXPRESSLY DISCLAIM ANY AND ALL LIABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY DIRECT, INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR OTHER DAMAGES ARISING OUT OF ANY INDIVIDUAL’S USE OF, REFERENCE TO, RELIANCE ON, OR INABILITY TO USE, THIS PODCAST OR THE INFORMATION PRESENTED IN THIS PODCAST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

April 15, 202636 min

191. Divorcing a Narcissist: How to Protect Yourself, Your Finances, and Your Future

Divorcing a narcissistic or high-conflict partner is one of the most emotionally and strategically complex experiences you can face. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, we’re joined by high-conflict divorce coach, mediator, and author Victoria McCooey, who shares what it really looks like to navigate divorce when manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are part of the dynamic. Victoria brings both professional expertise and lived experience—offering clear, grounded insight into how narcissistic behavior shows up in divorce, why so many people feel stuck or confused, and what it actually takes to protect yourself and move forward. If you’ve ever felt like you’re questioning your reality, being pulled in multiple directions, or struggling to make clear decisions—this conversation will help you understand why—and what to do next. What You’ll Learn: What defines a narcissistic or high-conflict partner in divorce Why many people don’t recognize abuse until they’re deep in it How manipulation and control show up during the divorce process The emotional and psychological impact of gaslighting Why clarity—not reaction—is your greatest asset in high-conflict divorce How to begin reclaiming your voice, confidence, and decision-making power You don’t need to have everything figured out—you need clarity. And clarity starts with understanding what you’re dealing with. At My Divorce Solution, we see this every day—when emotions are high and information is low, decisions become reactive. That’s why financial clarity is critical, especially in high-conflict situations. When you understand your full financial picture, you regain control of your decisions—not just your circumstances. Resources & Next Steps: Take the Free Divorce Financial Assessment Learn about the MDS Financial Portrait™ Join the MDS Community for expert guidance and support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

April 8, 202628 min

190. Divorce Explored: Before You Sign: What Divorce Financial Clarity Really Looks Like - Part 2

Episode Summary The most expensive divorce mistake is usually not legal — it's moving toward an agreement before the financial picture is complete, verified, and understood. In this episode, Karen and Catherine define what divorce financial clarity actually means and what needs to be in place before you sign anything. The Financial Clarity Gap Divorce financial clarity means having reliable answers about your financial situation that you can support with documentation — not a feeling, not a summary, not 'close enough.' The Financial Clarity Gap is the distance between relief-driven decisions and verified financial reality. Clarity reduces conflict: when both parties work from the same verified facts, resolution becomes more possible. The 4 Pillars of a Verified Financial Picture Full Scope: Every asset and liability — not just the obvious accounts. Common gaps include unvested stock options, pension valuations, deferred comp, and debts one spouse didn't know about. True Value: What an asset is worth after taxes, liquidity constraints, and risk. A $100K Roth IRA and a $100K traditional IRA look equal on paper — they're not. Equal on paper is not equal in spending power. Real Post-Divorce Costs: One household is becoming two. Support agreements based on memory — not real spending data — fall apart fast. Your future budget is the truth serum. Long-Term Impact: Scenario modeling shows what each settlement option does to the next 5, 10, 20 years before you commit. Model it before you promise it. In This Episode Why relief drives the most expensive divorce mistakes What the Financial Clarity Gap looks like in real cases The 4 pillars of a verified financial picture Why equal-on-paper can mean very different real lives Why even amicable divorces get financially messy The Before You Sign checklist Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices