We Chat Divorce Podcast

Hosted by My Divorce Solution

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219

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Aug 2026

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About the show

Divorce is emotional — but it’s also financial. We Chat Divorce helps you understand both. Join hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, co-founders of My Divorce Solution, for expert divorce insights, real stories, and proven financial strategies that turn fear into focus, focus into knowledge, and knowledge into power. Whether you’re just considering divorce, in the middle of it, or rebuilding after, you’ll learn how to protect your finances, make informed decisions, and move forward with clarity and confidence. The #1 podcast for financial divorce preparation, empowerment, and real talk about money, marriage, and moving on.

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60 recent

August 12, 202624 min

208. Should You Keep the House in Divorce? Why Your Realtor Can't Answer That Alone

Should you keep the house in your divorce — or sell it? Your realtor can give you an answer. But excellent real estate advice can still be a costly divorce mistake. In this episode of Divorce Explored, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan use the marital home — one of the most common and emotional decisions in divorce — to expose a bigger problem they call "professional silos": your realtor, accountant, attorney, financial planner, and mortgage professional each giving you sound advice that doesn't coordinate with the rest of your settlement. A realtor can't tell you how much equity actually remains after the mortgage and selling costs, what assets you'd give up to keep the house, or whether you can refinance and maintain it on your own income. The same siloed thinking shows up in tax advice, support orders, bifurcated divorces, and forensic accounting referrals — leaving you, the client, as the unpaid translator between five different professionals. In this episode, Karen and Catherine cover: Why your home's net value matters more than its sale price — and what "you can just keep the house" really means How a support order structured around the mortgage payment can quietly block a refinance Why year-end tax savings is only one piece of the divorce-timing decision The questions to ask before acting on any professional's recommendation How to coordinate every advisor around one complete, verified financial picture The answer isn't fewer professionals — it's making sure they're all solving the same problem using the same financial facts. That's what the MDS Financial Portrait™ was built to do. Learn more at MyDivorceSolution.com. The We Chat Divorce Podcast is hosted by Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan, co-founders of My Divorce Solution. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

August 5, 202645 min

207. How to Trust Yourself in Divorce: Stop Overthinking and Make Clear Decisions with Amy Armstrong

Divorce can make even the most confident person question every decision. When fear, conflicting advice, and financial uncertainty take over, how do you determine what is truly right for you? Divorce can make even the most confident person question every decision. When fear, conflicting advice, and financial uncertainty take over, how do you determine what is truly right for you?In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan speak with Amy Armstrong, a nationally recognized expert in conflict resolution, parent coaching, mediation, and family systems. Amy is the founder of the Center for Family Resolution and the Center for Coach Development, as well as the author of *Real-Time Parenting: Choose Your Action Steps for the Present Moment* and the upcoming book *Boundary Basics: Simple Steps to Resolve Conflict*. Drawing from both her professional expertise and personal divorce experience, Amy explains how to rebuild trust in yourself—one small decision at a time. She shares why repeatedly thinking through the same decision may signal a lack of self-trust and introduces a practical framework for placing decisions into three categories: yes, no, or later. The conversation also explores how to choose support people who hold a positive vision for your future, set boundaries based on what you want to protect, and move away from language that keeps you feeling powerless. Amy, Karen, and Catherine discuss the connection between emotional regulation and financial clarity, especially when one spouse has significantly more financial knowledge than the other. Amy also offers insight from her work training judges, including why family court outcomes can be unpredictable and why being brief, clear, prepared, and emotionally grounded can make a meaningful difference. In this episode, you’ll learn: How to recognize when you are not trusting yourself Why practicing with small decisions builds confidence How the “yes, no, or later” framework reduces rumination What to look for in a genuinely supportive person How to establish boundaries without trying to control someone else Why financial clarity should come before major divorce decisions How to communicate more effectively in mediation and family court When your decisions align with verified information, your priorities, and what is true for you, you can move through divorce with greater clarity and confidence. Learn more about My Divorce Solution and access additional divorce resources at MyDivorceSolution.com About Amy Armstrong Amy Armstrong, LISW-S, is a nationally recognized leader in conflict resolution, coach education, and program design. With expertise in mediation, parenting coordination, and parent coaching, she has spent 15 years helping families and professionals replace emotional reactivity with greater clarity, confidence, and personal authority. Amy is the founder of the Center for Family Resolution and the Center for Coach Development. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Parents Magazine, and USA Today, as well as on CBS, ABC, NBC, and Fox News. She is the author of Real-Time Parenting: Choose Your Action Steps for the Present Moment and the forthcoming Boundary Basics: Simple Steps to Resolve Conflict. Amy's gift to our listeners: https://podcast.thecenterforfamilyresolution.com/wechat Connect with Amy: Website: https://www.thecenterforfamilyresolution.com/ LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/coachamyarmstrong TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amyarmstrongconflictfree Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amyarmstrong_conflict_free/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 29, 202632 min

206. Hidden Assets or Costly Rabbit Holes? How Much Financial Discovery Is Enough?

One missing financial document could change the outcome of a divorce—but spending thousands tracing an account that once held only a few hundred dollars may not. So how do you know when you have enough reliable information to mediate, negotiate, or sign a settlement agreement? In this Divorce Explored episode, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan explain how to build a clear picture of your marital estate without getting trapped in costly financial rabbit holes. They discuss why organization should come before investigation, how key documents differ from supporting records, and how to distinguish a material gap—such as a substantial investment account missing from current disclosures—from an unanswered question that may never change the outcome. You’ll learn four questions to ask before requesting years of financial history, what may happen when a spouse refuses to provide records, why subpoenas sometimes come back “no records found,” and what a focused deficiency list should accomplish. Karen and Catherine also explain why mediation requires a reliable financial foundation—not absolute perfection. Financial clarity means having enough verified information to understand the risks, evaluate your options, and make informed decisions with confidence. Key takeaways Start with what you know and what you have; build the marital estate before beginning a broader investigation Connect every additional document request to a specific financial purpose Ask: What am I trying to prove? How could the answer change the marital estate? Is a court likely to permit the discovery? Could the cost exceed the likely benefit? Consider whether uncertainty can be addressed through negotiation, conservative values, offsets, true-ups, or settlement protections instead of endless tracing Learn more at MyDivorceSolution.com This conversation is educational and is not legal, tax, or investment advice. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 22, 202645 min

205. The 50/50 Divorce Myth: What Equitable Distribution Actually Means

Most people assume divorce means everything splits 50/50. In most of the country, that's not how the law works — and learning it mid-process can cost you dearly. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with Jessica Fagan, founder of Fagan Law Group, an Atlanta-based family law firm focused on complex divorce, custody, and high-asset family matters. Jessica breaks down what equitable distribution really means, why "fair" and "equal" are not the same thing, and how her "zone of settlement" approach helps clients negotiate from knowledge instead of fear. In this episode: Why only 9 states follow strict community property rules The tax traps hiding inside a "50/50" account split (Roth vs. traditional, tax basis, risk) How fairness is evolving when one spouse earns the income AND runs the household The zone of settlement: your best day vs. worst day in court Why judges are a wild card — "a sledgehammer, not a scalpel" Being heard in mediation without being pressured into a bad deal Why alimony is declining — and when more than 50% of assets is the smarter ask What AI gets wrong about analyzing divorce finances Connect with Jessica Fagan: Website: https://FaganLawGroup.com Instagram: @faganlaw Get financially clear before you negotiate. Learn about the MDS Financial Portrait™ and join the free MDS Community at https://MyDivorceSolution.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 15, 202623 min

204. Should You Move Money Before Divorce? Why One-Off Financial Advice Backfires

Someone tells you to move money out of the joint account. Someone else says stop depositing your paycheck. Your attorney raises temporary orders. Each piece of advice may sound reasonable on its own — but divorce decisions rarely stand alone. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan break down why making major financial decisions based on one conversation, one professional's limited view, or someone else's divorce experience can backfire — and how to evaluate advice against your complete financial picture instead. They walk through three common situations that deserve a closer look before you act: Moving money out of a joint account — what expenses are paid from it, what has to be disclosed later, and how credibility comes into play Redirecting your paycheck to a separate account — the household cash flow domino effect, and a real client story where one-off advice cost a spouse 65% of the couple's cash Temporary orders — how they shape the financial patterns and expectations that follow, and why you need organized financial information before deciding Plus: why giving your spouse a heads-up before a necessary financial move can protect your credibility, your negotiation, and your long-term outcome. IMPORTANT: If there is abuse, danger, coercive control, or an immediate financial emergency, taking protective action and getting appropriate professional help comes first — always. 4 TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE Good decisions are supported by coordinated information, not isolated answers. Ask whether additional financial information could change a recommendation. Ask how one proposed action might affect the rest of the marital estate. You don't need to solve the entire divorce in one day — understand the next decision and how it connects to everything else. Learn more about gaining financial clarity before settlement with the MDS Financial Portrait™: https://www.mydivorcesolution.com CONNECT WITH US Website: https://www.mydivorcesolution.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 8, 202636 min

203. Why Clients Leave Good Attorneys: Communication, Financial Clarity & AI in Divorce with Jessica Marshall

In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with Chicago family law attorney Jessica Marshall for a candid conversation about what really protects you during divorce — and where people often put themselves at risk without realizing it. Jessica shares an attorney’s perspective on why clients sometimes leave good lawyers, how poor communication can derail trust, and why financial preparation can completely change the attorney-client relationship. Together, Karen, Catherine, and Jessica explore what happens when clients walk into divorce without understanding their documents, assets, compensation, or long-term financial consequences — and why attorneys are not always the right professionals to explain the full financial picture. The conversation also dives into the growing use of AI in divorce. Jessica explains the risks of relying on AI-generated legal documents, inaccurate case law, unsupported conclusions, and AI-driven “diagnoses” around narcissism or coercive control. While AI can be a useful tool for education and question-building, this episode makes one thing clear: it should never replace professional legal or financial guidance. You’ll also hear an honest discussion about attorney hopping, when switching lawyers may make sense, when it may raise red flags, and why the duration of the case, the number of attorneys, and the reason for the switch all matter. This episode is a powerful reminder that divorce cannot be navigated passively. The more financially clear, organized, and prepared you are, the better equipped you are to communicate with your attorney, understand your options, and make informed decisions about your future. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why hiring an attorney does not automatically mean you are fully protected How communication issues between attorneys and clients create confusion and mistrust Why financial clarity helps your attorney advocate more effectively The difference between legal advice and financial analysis in divorce The dangers of relying on AI-generated legal documents or strategy Why AI can be a helpful tool for questions, but not a substitute for professional guidance What attorneys may consider when a client has changed lawyers multiple times How preparation helps you move from emotional reaction to informed decision-making Guest: Jessica Marshall is a family law attorney based in Chicago, Illinois, known for her strong advocacy, courtroom confidence, and commitment to protecting clients and their children through complex divorce and family law matters. Connect with Jessica:Website: IllinoisLawForYou.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

July 1, 202623 min

202. Inheritance and Divorce: What Gray Divorce Couples Don't Know Can Cost Them

Is inherited money really "yours" in a divorce? Not necessarily — and the details of how that money was handled can make or break your case. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan tackle one of the most misunderstood topics in later-in-life divorce: inheritance. Sparked by a recent Business Insider article on how baby boomer divorce is "rerouting inheritance" and reshaping retirement, Karen and Catherine break down why common assumptions — "it came from my parents, so it's mine" — often don't hold up once documentation, commingling, and state law enter the picture. They cover: Why inherited property isn't automatically protected, and how commingling and transmutation can change everything The three categories of documents you need: source documents (wills, trusts, probate records), path documents (account statements, deeds, business records), and forward-looking documents (tax returns, beneficiary designations, prenups/postnups) Why "spreadsheets are not source documents" — and what actually holds up in a settlement The unique financial stakes of gray divorce, where inheritance and retirement often overlap and there's less time to rebuild The emotional side of inheritance disputes — caregiving, expectation, and adult children's role (or lack thereof) in a parent's divorce How one inherited asset can ripple through an entire settlement: affecting home division, equalization payments, cash flow, support, and taxes Why estate planning — beneficiary designations, retirement accounts, life insurance, powers of attorney — needs review after divorce, especially when generational wealth is involved Karen and Catherine's bottom line: inheritance in divorce isn't just about where the money came from — it's about documentation, title, use, tax consequences, and long-term stability. Before you agree to divide or waive anything tied to an inheritance, get the full financial picture first. Referenced in this episode: Business Insider, "Baby Boomer Divorce Boom Reshaping Retirement Savings, Inheritance for Millennials" By Emily Stewart — https://www.businessinsider.com/baby-boomer-divorce-boom-reshaping-retirement-savings-inheritance-millennials-2026-6 This conversation is for educational purposes only and is not legal, financial, or tax advice. Every state handles divorce and inheritance differently. Please consult your attorney, financial advisor, or other divorce professional before making decisions. Learn more at MyDivorceSolution.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June 24, 202631 min

201. Is This Gaslighting? How to Recognize, Document, and Protect Yourself in High-Conflict Divorce

Is what you’re experiencing actually gaslighting? In this episode of We Chat Divorce, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan sit down with narcissistic abuse expert Tracy Malone — author of Divorcing Your Narcissist — to answer that question with real examples, practical tools, and language you can use right now. Tracy explains what gaslighting actually looks like in practice — not just the definition, but the tactics, the phrases, and the specific ways it shows up in high-conflict divorce. She walks through DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), explains why gaslighting targets your greatest strengths, and shares why the pattern intensifies the moment you file. Catherine also shares from her own experience — including how she kept a detailed journal for years before her divorce, and how that documentation became her anchor when her reality was being contested. IN THIS EPISODE: What gaslighting actually is — and why the word alone isn’t enough DARVO: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender (and why Tracy calls it “the love language of a narcissist”) Why gaslighting targets your greatest strengths (and Tracy’s Home Depot story) How gaslighting escalates when you file for divorce — including with the children, attorneys, and judges Financial gaslighting: “There is no money” and other phrases that keep victims stuck The story of a woman married 29 years who discovered mid-divorce they were multi-millionaires Why documentation is your most powerful tool — and how Catherine used a journal before her own divorce How to use financial statements to counter financial gaslighting without accusation The recovery work after gaslighting: guilt, shame, self-doubt, and rebuilding Why financial clarity and emotional independence go hand in hand FREE COMPANION RESOURCE Download “Is This Gaslighting? — A Reality-Check Guide” Signs checklist DARVO explainer Incident log & financial tracker Phrases to protect yourself Next steps checklist ➡️ MyDivorceSolution.com/gaslighting-guide 📝 READ THE COMPANION BLOG POST Gaslighting in Divorce: How to Recognize It, Document It, and Protect Yourself ➡️ MyDivorceSolution.com/blog 🔗 ABOUT TRACY MALONE Tracy Malone is a narcissistic abuse recovery coach, educator, and bestselling author. Website: narcissistabusesupport.com 🔗 ABOUT MY DIVORCE SOLUTION Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan help individuals gain financial clarity before, during, and after divorce — so decisions are made on verified facts, not contested narratives. Website: MyDivorceSolution.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June 17, 202622 min

200 Episodes Later: What Ten Years Taught Us About Money & Marriage

After 200 episodes and a decade of helping thousands of individuals navigate one of life’s most difficult transitions, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan step back from the typical divorce topic to explore the deeper patterns they have witnessed over the last 10 years. The biggest realization? Divorce was never only about divorce. It has always been about clarity. Too often, the financial disconnect in a marriage begins long before anyone contacts an attorney or files paperwork. It starts when one person manages the finances, assumptions replace conversations, and financial transparency slowly disappears. In this special 200th episode, Karen and Catherine share the most important lessons they have learned from working with more than 5,000 clients across all 50 states. They discuss why financial preparation should be a lifelong practice—not a divorce task—and why trusting your spouse should never mean losing your own understanding of your financial life. They also reveal the costly mistakes they see repeatedly in divorce: relying on spreadsheets instead of verification, assuming an attorney will create financial clarity, entering mediation without complete information, and making life-changing decisions before understanding their long-term impact. Whether your marriage is thriving, struggling, or already ending, this conversation is a powerful reminder that financial knowledge creates confidence, options, and better decisions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

June 10, 202635 min

199. Uncontested vs. Contested Divorce: What Every Divorcing Person Needs to Know, with Renee Turner

When people think about divorce, they often assume they can just "choose" an uncontested process. But what most people don't realize is that uncontested divorce requires more than goodwill — it requires preparation, financial transparency, and a clear understanding of your legal rights. Without that foundation, the most well-intentioned divorces can quickly become expensive, adversarial, and emotionally devastating. In this episode of We Chat Divorce, hosts Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan are joined by Renee Turner, family and matrimonial attorney and founder of Thoughtful Lawyering in New York. Renee draws on more than 13 years of legal experience to walk listeners through what uncontested and contested divorce actually mean — not just in theory, but in practice. From financial disclosure requirements and New York's maintenance cap to prenuptial agreements and co-parenting dynamics, this conversation covers the legal landscape that every divorcing person needs to understand. Catherine brings in the financial preparation angle, explaining how the MDS Financial Portrait gives clients the verified financial clarity they need to confidently enter — or switch out of — an uncontested process. Together with Renee, Karen and Catherine reinforce one of the most empowering messages in divorce: you are the employer. Your legal and financial professionals work for you. In This Episode The legal definition of uncontested vs. contested divorce in New York Why the court system's scheduling creates delays — and how the uncontested process avoids them What a marital settlement agreement is and when it's negotiated New York's maintenance cap and how lifestyle analysis can change the final number Financial disclosure in uncontested divorce: what is required, what can be waived, and what you're risking by waiving it The myth of "I know what we have" — why most clients discover gaps once the process starts How to switch from uncontested to contested (and back) — and when it makes sense Why you should never sign any document without fully understanding it How the uncontested process protects children from courtroom involvement What it means to be the employer of your attorney — and why asking questions is your right Key Takeaways Uncontested divorce requires agreement on all major issues: property, custody, support, and maintenance — without a judge deciding for you. You can always switch from uncontested to contested if you feel your rights are not protected. Don't let fear of "starting over" trap you. Financial preparation — verified, document-supported clarity about what you have — is what makes uncontested divorce truly safe and successful. New York's maintenance cap is not the final word. Lifestyle analysis and standard of living can support amounts above the cap. Never waive financial disclosure without knowing exactly what you're giving up — and having documentation to support that decision. You are the employer of every professional you hire during your divorce. Question everything. Ask for clarity. Take the time you need. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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