The Thoughtful Leader Podcast with Ben Brearley

Hosted by Ben Brearley

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Episodes

332

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Jun 2026

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About the show

Short, sharp and practical leadership support for thoughtful, reflective, people-focused leaders who want to lead with confidence, without pretending to be someone they're not. Hosted by leadership coach Ben Brearley, each episode helps you build confidence, set boundaries, and stay true to your values in the workplace. No jargon, no hype. Just real strategies for thoughtful leadership.

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60 recent

June 14, 2026Episode 33115 min

#331: Are you walking on eggshells in your team?

Do you feel like you're walking on eggshells with members of your team? In this episode, Ben explores why thoughtful leaders can become overly cautious in their leadership: avoiding difficult conversations, hesitating to hold people accountable and worrying about upsetting team members. Ben explains how this behaviour can slowly damage team culture, create inconsistency and place additional pressure on high-performing employees. This episode also looks at why leaders become vulnerable to this pattern, including fear of losing key employees, difficult workplace processes and organisational pressure. Key Takeaways Walking on eggshells can reduce leadership effectiveness and authenticity. Avoiding accountability often creates frustration for high-performing team members. Fear of losing staff can make leaders hesitant to address issues. Difficult performance management processes can encourage avoidance. Leaders need confidence and clarity to address problems constructively. Memorable Quote "By trying not to upset people you may be setting a precedent in your team that people can get away without being held accountable." Resources Mentioned Work with Ben. Article: Performance Management: Do It Well With the 5 "C"s.

June 7, 2026Episode 33012 min

#330: Maintaining personality and values balance in a team.

Is there a "perfect" balance of personalities and values in a team? In this episode, Ben explores the idea of diversity through the lens of personality and personal values. Inspired by a question raised during an authentic leadership workshop in Perth, he discusses why teams benefit from differing perspectives, but also why too much misalignment can create friction and dysfunction. Ben also explains the role organisational values can play in shaping culture and helping leaders create stronger alignment within their teams. Key Takeaways Diverse perspectives can improve problem solving and team discussions. There is no perfect formula for balancing values within a team. Organisational values can help attract people who align with your culture. Leaders should avoid trying to engineer the "perfect" team dynamic. Values discussions can improve authenticity and alignment at work. Memorable Quote "There's no engineering solution that's going to give you the perfect specification on the values balance in a team." Resources Mentioned Download the free Useful Values Journal. Why No One Cares About Your Company Values (and How to Fix It) Work with Ben.

May 31, 2026Episode 32911 min

#329: Q - How much empathy should you have? A - 37%

In this episode, Ben explores an important distinction between empathy and accountability. Inspired by a question raised during a training workshop, he explains why empathy should always be present in leadership, but why that doesn't mean avoiding difficult conversations or lowering standards. This episode looks at how leaders can understand the challenges their people are facing while still making appropriate decisions about performance, behaviour and consequences. Key Takeaways Empathy is about understanding another person's perspective, not necessarily agreeing with their behaviour. Leaders should separate empathy from accountability. The level of accountability required often depends on what is at stake. Compassionate leadership does not mean avoiding consequences. Understanding context helps leaders respond more thoughtfully and fairly. Memorable Quote "You can have empathy 100% of the time, but just because you have empathy does not mean you can't take action." Resources Mentioned Work with Ben.

May 24, 2026Episode 32815 min

#328: I took an Emotional Intelligence assessment and got a shock!

In this episode, Ben shares his experience of taking an emotional intelligence assessment and the surprising results that came back. The assessment highlighted strengths as well as areas where his emotional intelligence was lower than expected. Rather than viewing this as negative feedback, Ben reflects on how insights like this can improve self‑awareness and leadership development. The episode explores how assessments and feedback can help leaders better understand how they show up at work and how their behaviour affects others. By approaching the results with curiosity rather than defensiveness, leaders can identify opportunities to grow and improve their effectiveness. Resources mentioned in this episode: Work with Ben.

May 17, 2026Episode 32711 min

#327: Recreating the conditions for confidence.

In this episode, Ben explores how confidence is often linked to the conditions surrounding our work rather than being a fixed personal trait. When people lose confidence, it can feel as though something internal has changed. However, Ben suggests that confidence is frequently influenced by external factors such as preparation, clarity, experience and support. One practical approach is to reflect on situations where you previously felt confident and performed well. By identifying the conditions that were present in those situations, you can begin to recreate them and give yourself a better foundation for confidence again. This perspective helps leaders focus on shaping the environment and conditions that support confidence rather than trying to force confidence through willpower alone. Resources mentioned in this episode: Work with Ben.

May 10, 2026Episode 32612 min

#326: Secret leadership - are you doing it?

In this episode, Ben introduces the idea of secret leadership. This is when leaders try to implement leadership techniques with their team without explaining what they are doing or why. This often happens after leaders attend training, read a leadership book, or learn a new approach they want to try. Instead of openly discussing it with their team, they quietly introduce changes. Ben suggests this can happen because leaders feel a sense of embarrassment or vulnerability about admitting they are trying something new or changing their leadership approach. However, implementing leadership ideas "by stealth" can backfire. Team members may notice the changes anyway and react sceptically or roll their eyes because they don't understand the purpose behind them. Ben argues that a better approach is to be open about what you're trying to do. By explaining what you've noticed, what you've learned and what you're hoping to improve, you involve your team in the process rather than quietly applying techniques without explanation Resources mentioned in this episode: Brené Brown – work on vulnerability and trust Work with Ben.

May 3, 2026Episode 32514 min

#325: Should you address the issue directly?

In this episode, Ben explores the common leadership advice that if you have a problem with someone, you should speak to that person directly. While this idea is widely recommended, many leaders still hesitate to have these conversations because they feel uncomfortable or worry about how the other person might react. Ben discusses why avoiding the conversation can allow issues to linger and sometimes make the situation worse. Instead of hoping the problem will disappear, leaders often benefit from addressing the issue with the person involved so it can be clarified and resolved. At the same time, the episode highlights the importance of approaching these conversations thoughtfully. The goal is not confrontation for its own sake, but resolving misunderstandings and improving the working relationship. Resources mentioned in this episode: Work with Ben.

April 26, 2026Episode 32411 min

#324: Why you should look back to lead better.

In this episode, Ben explains why occasional reflection on past experiences can help leaders understand themselves better and improve their leadership. While coaching is typically future‑focused, reflecting on personal history can reveal how past experiences shaped values, reactions, and behaviour. Using a childhood story about his time in the playground, Ben illustrates how his value of self‑reliance may have developed. While this value has many strengths, it also has potential downsides, such as reluctance to ask for help or collaborate. The key lesson is that understanding your personal values - and the strengths and drawbacks they bring - helps leaders become more self‑aware and more forgiving of themselves, which supports stronger leadership. Resources mentioned in this episode: The Useful Thinking Journal. Article: Why Self Acceptance is a Foundation for Good Leadership. Understand and use your values online course.

April 19, 2026Episode 32312 min

#323: Struggling with career direction? Try setting some principles.

In this episode, Ben talks about career direction and why many leaders struggle to define a clear long‑term vision. Rather than trying to picture a very specific future role, he suggests creating a set of guiding principles that help you evaluate opportunities as they arise. Ben explains that principles can be built around three main factors: the type of work you want to do, the lifestyle you want to live, and the level of seniority or responsibility you want to pursue. These principles act as a framework for decision‑making, helping leaders assess whether new opportunities align with their desired direction. Having these principles can prevent leaders from saying yes to every opportunity and help them avoid drifting through their careers without a sense of direction. Resources mentioned in this episode: Click here to learn about working with Ben 1:1.

April 12, 2026Episode 32212 min

#322: Here's why you're not making progress.

In this episode, Ben explores a common frustration for leaders: teams or individuals who seem stuck and unable to make progress. He explains that "spinning your wheels" often comes down to a combination of factors rather than a single cause. Key issues include a lack of time and capacity, unclear direction or priorities, fear of accountability, and missing skills or knowledge needed to complete the work. When leaders fail to clearly state priorities, teams often default to business‑as‑usual tasks instead of tackling new initiatives. Ben also highlights how some team members wait for explicit permission to step up and take responsibility. By clearly defining priorities, granting permission, and providing the necessary support and skills, leaders can help teams move from stalled discussions to real progress. Resources mentioned in this episode: Work with Ben - Get in touch here.