
Ep 68: HR Is Not Your Friend. Or Are They?
Is HR really your friend? In this episode of Leading Below the Surface, LaTonya Wilkins sits down with two seasoned HR veterans, Turiya Gray (HR Unconfidential) and Krista Lane (HR Peep Show) for a candid, unfiltered conversation about what it really means to work in and with HR. From surprise performance reviews to AI-driven layoffs to the myth of the strategic seat at the table, they go below the surface on what HR is actually for, who holds the power, and what it looks like when HR leaders show up with courage.🎥 Prefer to watch? This episode is also available on YouTube with chapters: https://www.youtube.com/@changecoaches/podcastsEpisode Chapters & Key Moments[00:00] Is HR your friend? Setting the stage LaTonya shares what inspired this episode: layoffs, bad experiences, and a question she couldn't shake.[03:15] Introducing Turiya Gray, fractional CPO, 25+ years in HR From leading HR teams at tech companies to fractional work and why she's "over the HR profession."[05:00] Introducing Krista Lane,fractional HR for startups and nonprofits Why she got into fractional HR and what she means by "secretly not boring."[06:40] LaTonya's HR horror stories: A mentor who gave a surprise bad review. A senior leader who fast-tracked her then ghosted her. Sound familiar?[09:55] Performance reviews: the real story. Why surprises in reviews signal a broken system, misaligned incentives, and a culture of fear instead of growth.[10:00] Turiya's honest take: HR is not your friend. What HR should be and why conflating the role with friendship creates unrealistic expectations and real harm.[13:40] So who is HR actually for? Navigating the multi-spoke service model between company, leaders, and employees, and where the hierarchy really lives.[23:50] AI as a layoff excuse: myth or reality? Why Krista is skeptical that AI alone drives major workforce reductions, and what's actually going on under the hood.[28:50] The HR pushback problem: How effective HR leaders pressure-test business decisions and why too many roll over instead.[35:30] Coaching people out vs. pushing them out. Why LaTonya believes in coaching as an exit strategy, and what a more humane, low-friction separation actually looks like.[37:00] The PIP problem. Turiya's 50 questions. Why Turiya asks 49 questions about the manager before agreeing to put anyone on a performance improvement plan.[42:40] What grounded HR leadership really looks like. Values, courage, business acumen, and creativity and why the HR playbook is overdue for disruption.[48:00] Where to find Turiya and Krista Podcast links, events, and how to connect.Calls to Action🔹 Turiya Gray — HR Unconfidential Podcast (100th episode coming this summer!): https://www.linkedin.com/company/hr-unconfidential 🔹 Krista Lane — HR Peep Show Podcast + Headwaters HR: headwatershr.com 🔹 Explore Coaching Below the Surface™ (ICF-approved): https://changecoaches.io/coaching-below-the-surface/ 🔹 Follow Change Coaches on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/change-coaches 🔹 Connect with LaTonya Wilkins on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/latonyawilkins/



