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The Coach Approach Ministries Podcast

The Coach Approach Ministries Podcast

Hosted by Coach Approach Ministries

Episodes

526

Latest episode

Aug 2026

Language

EN

About the show

Welcome to the Coach Approach Ministries Podcast! Coaching is a skillset and a mindset that helps people find focus, discover options and take action. At CAM, we train the very best Christian coaches in the world, and over the last decade, we've trained well over a thousand. Through this podcast, we want to share insights from the Coaching Community and help you to develop a broader understanding of coaching. You can find out more about us at www.coachapproachministries.org and sign up for our proven coach training.

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60 recent
August 13, 2026Episode 53023 min

Speaking the Truth Even When It's Difficult with Mary Selzer

*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-69efcff9-c8c4-8325-9b98-b10b2242ece8-9" data-turn-id-container= "request-69efcff9-c8c4-8325-9b98-b10b2242ece8-9" data-testid= "conversation-turn-18" data-turn="assistant"> Episode Overview Coaching isn't just about asking great questions—it's also about having the courage to speak the truth with grace. In this conversation, Brian Miller and Mary Selzer explore the role of boldness in coaching, from establishing healthy coaching agreements to making difficult observations that create lasting awareness. They also discuss why silence is often the coach's greatest ally and how giving clients space to process can be more transformational than saying one more thing. Key Ideas & Takeaways 1. Truth Must Be Spoken with Grace Coaching requires honesty, but equally important is how truth is communicated. Difficult observations should be offered with care, humility, and genuine love for the client. Boldness isn't about confrontation—it's about serving the client's growth. 2. Coaches Teach People How to Be Coached Healthy coaching begins with a clear coaching agreement. Sometimes clients need guidance on what creates an effective coaching conversation. Setting boundaries early creates stronger coaching relationships later. 3. Boldness Begins with the Coaching Agreement Mary shares the story of coaching a distracted pastor who repeatedly tried to coach while camping and working. A simple but courageous conversation about expectations transformed the coaching relationship for years. Sometimes the most important coaching happens before the coaching even begins. 4. Great Observations Require Courage Coaches must be willing to say what they genuinely observe. A well-timed observation can create awareness that no question alone could produce. Truth spoken with love often becomes the turning point in a conversation. 5. Silence Is Part of the Coaching After a significant insight, resist the urge to fill the silence. Clients often need time to process what they've discovered. Silence is not awkward—it's where transformation often begins. 6. Marinating vs. Stewing Mary compares productive silence to marinating, allowing insight to soak in naturally. Coaches often mistake silence for stewing, assuming discomfort means they should jump back in. Giving clients room to "marinate" allows awareness to become lasting change. 7. Say Less to Say More Powerful coaches use fewer words. A concise observation followed by silence is often more impactful than a lengthy explanation. The goal isn't to explain the insight—it's to give the client ownership of it. Memorable Quotes & Ideas "It's not just telling the truth—it's how you tell the truth." "We teach people how to be coached." "Speak the truth in love." "Silence should be a time of marinating, not stewing." "I won't speak again until they do." "The fewer words we use, the more powerful our observations become." "Let silence do the heavy lifting." _:empty]:hidden">

August 6, 2026Episode 52923 min

Coaching Restored My Love for Ministry and Saved My Family with Mary Selzer

*]:pointer-events-auto R6Vx5W_threadScrollVars scroll-mb-[calc(var(--scroll-root-safe-area-inset-bottom,0px)+var(--thread-response-height))] scroll-mt-[calc(var(--header-height)+min(200px,max(70px,20svh)))]" dir="auto" data-turn-id= "request-69efcff9-c8c4-8325-9b98-b10b2242ece8-8" data-turn-id-container= "request-69efcff9-c8c4-8325-9b98-b10b2242ece8-8" data-testid= "conversation-turn-16" data-turn="assistant"> Episode Overview After serving nearly 30 years in pastoral ministry, Mary Selzer found herself emotionally drained from carrying responsibility for everyone's problems. Everything changed when she discovered coaching. In this conversation, Mary shares how coaching gave her permission to stop rescuing people who weren't ready to change and instead invest in those who were. Along the way, she and Brian discuss why coaching creates healthier ministry, stronger relationships, and more responsible disciples. Based on the transcript you shared. Key Ideas & Takeaways 1. Ministry Burnout Often Comes from Carrying Too Much Mary felt responsible for solving everyone's problems. She often became more passionate about people's change than they were. That mindset led to exhaustion and diminished her joy in ministry. 2. Coaching Restored the Joy of Ministry Learning the distinction between counseling and coaching was a turning point. Coaching focuses on helping relatively healthy people move forward. Mary realized she had been investing most of her energy in people who weren't ready to change while overlooking those who were. 3. Not Everyone Wants to Change Coaching gave Mary permission to stop feeling obligated to help everyone. Ministry became healthier when she focused on people who were willing to grow. She and her husband discovered a complementary partnership: he naturally served as shepherd and spiritual director while she coached those ready for forward movement. 4. Coaching Teaches People to Think for Themselves Mary intentionally taught people how to be coached. People who had become dependent on others gradually developed confidence and ownership. Coaching produced greater responsibility and independence instead of unhealthy dependence. 5. Maybe "Uncoachable" Isn't the Right Word Mary questions whether people are truly uncoachable. Perhaps many are simply not ready for coaching yet. Readiness often begins when someone recognizes that something in life needs to change. 6. Coaching Requires Psychological Safety Brian suggests people become coachable when they believe they will be heard. Growth happens when people trust that their ideas and decisions will be respected rather than overridden. Coaching flourishes in environments where people feel safe to think out loud. 7. Building Up Rather Than Holding On Reflecting on Ephesians 4, Brian contrasts two approaches to ministry: Constantly rescuing people who are hanging on. Intentionally building people up into maturity. Coaching aligns with the biblical vision of helping people grow rather than simply survive. Memorable Quotes & Ideas "I became more passionate for people's change than they were." "Coaching restored my love for ministry." "Not everybody wants to be helped. Not everybody wants to change." "You teach people how to be coached." "People became more responsible because they realized, 'I can do this myself.'" "Maybe people aren't uncoachable—they're simply not ready for coaching yet." "Coaching creates an environment where people know they'll be heard and their thinking will be respected."   _:empty]:hidden">

July 30, 2026Episode 52824 min

Why Great Trainers Coach Instead of Lecture (Rebroadcast)

Note Episode Overview What makes training transformational instead of merely informational? In this rebroadcast, Brian Miller and Chad Hall explore how coaching principles can dramatically improve training and facilitation. They argue that adult learners don't simply need more information—they need opportunities to process, discuss, apply, and own what they're learning. A coach approach to training shifts the instructor from being the expert in front of the room to the facilitator of meaningful learning. Key Ideas & Takeaways 1. The Person Talking Is the Person Learning Learning deepens when participants explain, discuss, and process ideas. Trainers should create opportunities for learners to speak—not simply listen. The goal is active engagement rather than passive reception. 2. Move from Lecturer to Learning Partner Traditional training assumes one teacher and many learners. A coach approach views everyone as contributors to the learning process. The trainer brings expertise, but participants bring valuable experience and insight. 3. Don't Respond After Every Comment Trainers often feel compelled to summarize or improve every participant's contribution. Instead, allow ideas to circulate among the group. Real discussion emerges when participants begin responding to one another instead of always through the trainer. 4. Start with Participants' Desired Outcomes Before introducing content, ask: What do you hope to learn? What questions do you want answered? What would make this training worthwhile? This creates ownership and aligns expectations. 5. Adult Learning Requires Processing An effective learning cycle includes: Present a key idea. Give learners time to discuss and wrestle with it. Help them identify practical application. People don't learn best by hearing—they learn by processing. 6. Content Should Evoke Awareness The purpose of teaching isn't simply transferring information. The purpose is to provoke thinking. Even disagreement can be productive if it causes participants to reflect more deeply and engage with the material. 7. Coaching Helps Learners Apply What They Learn Instead of ending with "Any questions?" A coach approach asks: What are you going to do differently? What action will you take? How will you apply this? Application creates transformation. 8. Great Training Creates Ownership The ultimate goal isn't that participants remember what the trainer said. It's that they make the ideas their own. Transformation happens when learners move from receiving information to owning it. Memorable Quotes & Ideas "The person talking is the person learning." "The purpose of the content is to make people think." "I'm not here to convince you. I'm here to help you engage with the ideas." "The trainer becomes less of a lecturer and more of a facilitator of learning." Practical Framework for Coach-Like Training A simple structure for designing adult learning: Teach — Present one key concept (about 10 minutes). Process — Let participants discuss, question, and reflect. Apply — Coach them toward concrete action and implementation. s

July 23, 2026Episode 52719 min

When Not to Coach

Episode Overview Coaching is a powerful leadership tool—but it isn't the right tool for every situation. In this solo episode, Brian Miller explores when coaching is appropriate and when other leadership approaches, particularly giving direction, are more effective. Using the Situational Leadership model developed by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard, he explains how leaders can match their approach to a person's level of development and avoid the common mistake of using the wrong tool at the wrong time. Key Ideas & Takeaways 1. Coaching Isn't Always the Right Answer Coaching is one of several leadership skills—not the only one. There are situations where people need clear direction more than thoughtful questions. The key is knowing which approach fits the moment. 2. Leadership Is Situational Leadership isn't limited to people with formal authority. Anyone who seeks to influence or help another person is exercising leadership. Effective leaders adapt their style to the situation rather than relying on a single preferred approach. 3. The Two Leadership Levers Situational Leadership revolves around two variables: Direction – telling people what to do. Support – encouraging, listening, partnering, and building confidence. Every leadership interaction adjusts these two "levers." 4. Four Leadership Approaches Depending on a person's development level, leaders should provide: High Direction / Low Support High Direction / High Support Low Direction / High Support (coaching) Low Direction / Low Support (delegation) 5. Coaching Fits Development Level Three Coaching is most valuable when someone: Knows how to do the work. Needs encouragement more than instruction. Is ready to develop ownership rather than receive answers. This is where asking questions becomes more powerful than giving advice. 6. Coaching Creates Ownership The greatest return on coaching is not simply better performance—it's ownership. People begin to see themselves as the expert. They develop confidence in their own judgment. Leaders can gradually release responsibility instead of maintaining control. 7. People Don't Stay at One Level Forever Development isn't linear. Stress Burnout New responsibilities Changing circumstances may require leaders to temporarily become more directive again. Great leadership continually reassesses the situation. 8. Great Leaders Build Multiple Skills Every leader should learn coaching, but every leader should also know when to: Tell Explain Encourage Coach Delegate The best leaders don't overuse their favorite style—they choose the one the situation requires. Memorable Quotes & Ideas "Half the time you shouldn't coach. The important thing is that at least half the time you should." "If you're coaching when they don't need coached, you're annoying. If you're telling when they need coached, you're annoying." "The greatest return on investment of coaching is ownership." "You can only accomplish what you can keep your eye on—coaching helps you expand beyond that." Mentioned in This Episode Situational Leadership by Paul Hersey and Ken Blanchard CAM 501 – Foundations of Christian Coaching, an eight-week introduction to coaching skills including listening, asking questions, making observations, and partnering with the Holy Spirit.

July 16, 2026Episode 52624 min

How Coaching Changes the Coach

Episode Overview Coaching is usually discussed in terms of what it does for the person being coached. In this episode, Brian turns the question around: What does coaching do to the coach? Drawing from more than fifteen years of coaching, Brian describes how the coaching mindset has changed the way he relates to other people, handles his own insights, and carries responsibility. Coaching has made him less individualistic, less compelled to give answers, and less likely to take ownership of problems that properly belong to someone else. More than a professional skill, coaching has become a way of understanding Christian community, personal maturity, leadership, friendship, marriage, and faith. Key Ideas 1. Coaching changes how we understand community Coaching is a fundamentally collaborative process. The coach is the expert in the conversation, while the client is the expert in the subject of the conversation. That partnership offers a picture of healthy community. People do not need to have identical strengths, roles, or perspectives in order to work together well. They contribute differently to something neither could create alone. For Brian, this has deepened his understanding of the body of Christ. Christian faith is personal, but it is not merely individual. We are joined together, dependent upon one another, and called to create something collectively that no single person could produce independently. 2. Coaching changes how we steward awareness Coaches regularly notice patterns, connections, and possible solutions before the client does. The temptation is to immediately share every insight. Brian has learned that an awareness does not go to waste simply because he chooses not to say it. When an insight is not immediately released, it can continue to work within the coach. It can mature, connect with other ideas, and produce greater depth. The discipline of not correcting, explaining, or contributing every thought has made him a better coach, trainer, leader, and person. 3. Coaching changes how we carry responsibility Responsibility is a strength, but it can become unhealthy when we take responsibility for things that properly belong to other people. Coaching has helped Brian ask: What is genuinely my responsibility? What belongs to the other person? How can I support someone without taking over? Can my presence help them carry what is theirs to carry? Sometimes helping means solving a problem. At other times, it means listening, encouraging, remaining present, or allowing another person to make a difficult decision. Memorable Quotes "I am a better person because I am a coach." "The coach is the expert of the conversation, but you are the expert of the topic." "That awareness that I don't share doesn't go to waste. It actually piles up in me, and it works on me." "I don't tend to grow when I share everything I know. I grow when I don't share everything I know." "Coaching has changed how I carry responsibility." "Christianity brings something to my coaching, but I think coaching brings something to my Christianity." "Coaching has given me a better life." Reflection Questions How has coaching changed the way you understand relationships and community? What awareness are you tempted to share before another person is ready for it? Where might you be carrying responsibility that properly belongs to someone else? How could you support someone without solving the problem for them? Mentioned in This Episode Brian will teach CAM 501: Foundations of Christian Coaching, beginning August 6, 2026. The eight-week course introduces the foundations, practices, and mindset of Christian coaching. Learn more at coachapproachministries.org.

July 9, 2026Episode 52523 min

Why People Don't Take Advice

Episode Summary Brian Miller records a solo episode on a common leadership frustration: people ask for advice, receive good advice, agree that it makes sense—and then do not follow it. Brian explores why advice often fails to create change. The issue is not always that the advice is wrong. The deeper problem is that advice often skips the internal process people need in order to act. Coaching offers a better kind of conversation by helping people come to their own awareness, develop stronger action steps, and take ownership of the result. Big Ideas & Takeaways Awareness: Advice gives people someone else's insight Advice usually starts with what the advice-giver sees: "Here's what I think you should do." The advice may be wise, but the awareness belongs to the person giving it. People change more deeply when they come to awareness themselves. A coach approach creates space for someone to notice assumptions, patterns, fears, desires, and possibilities they had not seen clearly before. Brian illustrates this through his diabetes diagnosis. Being told he was diabetic did not instantly create full awareness. Later, a simple comment from his brother about giving up diet drinks helped Brian realize he had not yet tried everything. The awareness had to become his own before he could act on it. Key implication: if people do not own the awareness, they are unlikely to own the change. Action: Advice often produces weak action Even when people accept advice, the action can be vague, minimal, or borrowed. They may nod, agree, and even try something—but without a clear plan, the action rarely holds. A coaching conversation helps the person build a stronger action step. The action becomes specific, realistic, timely, and connected to the awareness they just discovered. Brian contrasts merely telling someone what to do with helping them think through the next step: What will you do? When will you do it? Who needs to be involved? What resources do you need? What could get in the way? Key implication: people are more likely to follow through on action they helped design. Ownership: Advice creates compliance; coaching creates responsibility Advice can produce compliance, especially when the advice-giver has authority. But compliance is not the same as ownership. Compliance says, "I am doing this because you told me to." Ownership says, "This is my responsibility, and I choose to act." Brian connects this to leadership, parenting, ministry, board meetings, and personal growth. The goal is not merely to get people to behave correctly. The goal is to help people become mature, responsible, and transformed. This is where accountability comes in. Accountability is strongest when it grows out of ownership. The person names the action, owns the responsibility, and identifies what will help them follow through. The Coaching Framework Awareness People need to see something for themselves. Action People need a concrete, supported next step. Ownership People need to take responsibility for what they choose to do. Memorable Quotes / Moments "People don't take advice." "No one ever washes a rental car." "Advice gives people my awareness." "People do what they tell themselves to do." "What's going to ensure that you take this action?" Timestamped Highlights ● 0:17–1:27 Intro: why people don't take advice ● 1:27–2:40 Story: nonprofit employee quits despite good advice ● 3:17–4:16 Conversations can be transformational ● 4:16–5:35 Advice gives people someone else's awareness ● 5:56–9:33 Diabetes diagnosis + brother's comment about diet drinks ● 11:53–14:33 Advice often produces weak action ● 16:53–18:38 Advice creates compliance instead of ownership ● 18:38–21:17 Accountability, counting carbs, and owning the next step ● 22:21–23:19 CAM 501 invitation and closing Links Mentioned ● Coach Approach Ministries: coachapproachministries.org ● CAM 501: Foundations of Christian Coaching ● Course start date mentioned: August 6, 2026 ● Schedule mentioned: Thursdays at 2:00 Eastern for eight weeks

July 2, 2026Episode 52425 min

Presidents, Pressure, and the Myth That Things Used to Be Simple

Podcast Notes: Presidents, Pressure, and the Myth That Things Used to Be Simple Episode Overview In this solo episode, Brian Miller reflects on America's 250th anniversary and his recent effort to memorize the presidents of the United States in order. What began as a personal history project became a reminder that American life has never been as simple, stable, or unified as we sometimes imagine. Rather than entering today's political debates, Brian uses presidential history as a lens for leadership, pressure, maturity, and perspective. The episode explores how history can help us become less reactive, less nostalgic, and more grounded as we lead through complicated times. Key Ideas & Takeaways History Is More Turbulent Than We Remember From a distance, history often looks cleaner than it actually was. We remember presidents as names, portraits, monuments, and eras. But they were real people leading in real time, often with incomplete information, competing pressures, personal limitations, and public criticism. The past was not as simple as we sometimes imagine. American history has always included conflict, ambition, division, compromise, courage, failure, and uncertainty. Remembering that does not minimize the challenges of the present, but it can help us hold them with greater perspective. Leadership Is Always Contextual Presidential history reminds us that leadership is never abstract. Every leader acts inside a particular moment, with particular pressures and constraints. Some presidents were prepared for the moment they inherited. Some were not. Some shaped their era. Others were overwhelmed by it. But each one had to carry responsibility inside circumstances they did not fully control. That matters for how we think about leadership today. It is easy to judge leaders only by personality, decisions, or outcomes. But a more mature view also asks: What pressure were they under? What limitations were they facing? What assumptions shaped their choices? What did the moment require of them? This does not excuse poor leadership. But it helps us understand that leadership always happens inside pressure. Perspective Helps Us Become Less Reactive One gift of history is that it lowers our shock. Not because the present is easy. Not because today's problems do not matter. But because history reminds us that conflict, uncertainty, and pressure are not new. Without perspective, every crisis can feel unprecedented. Every disagreement can feel like proof that everything is falling apart. Every leader can become either savior or villain. Historical perspective helps us become steadier. It allows us to care without being consumed, to act without merely reacting, and to tell the truth about the present without being swallowed by anxiety. This is also where the episode connects to coaching. Coaching helps people make meaning under pressure. It creates space for awareness, discernment, responsibility, and faithful action. Possible Coaching Questions What pressure are you carrying right now? What are you assuming about this moment? What are you afraid will happen? What responsibility is actually yours? What are you carrying that is not yours to carry? What would a less reactive version of you do next? What does faithfulness look like in this moment? Closing Thought As America turns 250, we do not need to pretend the story has been simple. It has not. It has been pressured, conflicted, unfinished, and often complicated. But that does not have to lead us to cynicism. It can lead us to maturity. History helps us tell the truth about the present without being swallowed by it. It reminds us that leadership has always required courage, humility, wisdom, and restraint. And it invites us to ask a question that is historical, spiritual, and deeply practical: What does faithfulness look like now?

June 25, 2026Episode 52324 min

The Journey to a Successful Coaching Practice with Glenn Smith

In this episode, Glenn Smith and I explore the journey of building a successful coaching practice and what it really takes to sustain meaningful work over time. Glenn shares wisdom from his own coaching journey, including the challenges, mindset shifts, and personal growth required to create a practice that aligns with both purpose and impact. We discuss: What defines a successful coaching practice The difference between building a business and living a calling Why authenticity matters in coaching Trust, relationships, and long-term growth The importance of self-awareness and personal development Common struggles coaches face early in their journey Finding alignment between values, purpose, and work Coaching as transformation rather than performance How meaningful conversations create lasting impact This conversation offers encouragement and practical wisdom for coaches, leaders, and anyone seeking to build work that is both sustainable and deeply meaningful. #Coaching #Leadership #PersonalGrowth #GlennSmith #CoachingPractice #Transformation #Purpose #Podcast

June 18, 2026Episode 52225 min

From Codependency to Compassion with Paul Burns

In this final conversation with Paul Burns, we explore the "Social" dimension of the GPS discipleship framework. Paul explains how a secure relationship with God and growing personal maturity free us to genuinely love and connect with others. We discuss: Why empathy is central to spiritual maturity The connection between security and healthy relationships Moving beyond codependency Loving others for their sake instead of our own needs The social implications of discipleship Sacrificial and unconditional love in the way of Jesus Emotional freedom and relational connection How discipleship transforms communities and relationships Paul unpacks how deepening discipleship ultimately leads to greater compassion, empathy, and the ability to love others more fully and authentically. #Empathy #Discipleship #Relationships #PaulBurns #SpiritualFormation #ChristianCoaching #Faith #Podcast

June 11, 2026Episode 52124 min

The Journey from Insecurity to Freedom with Paul Burns

In this second conversation with Paul Burns, we focus on the "Personal" dimension of his GPS framework for discipleship. Paul explores how spiritual growth involves becoming the person God created us to be rather than remaining trapped in the patterns and insecurities shaped by the world. We discuss: The movement from worldly identity to God-centered identity Emotional maturity and spiritual formation Insecurity, fear, and personal growth What it means to become a child of God The importance of self-differentiation How attachment to God creates internal freedom Why discipleship includes emotional and psychological growth Letting go of unhealthy patterns and mindsets This episode connects discipleship with emotional health and explores how God transforms not only our beliefs, but our identity and way of being in the world. #Identity #Discipleship #SpiritualGrowth #PaulBurns #EmotionalHealth #ChristianLeadership #Faith #Podcast

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