Technically Correct

Every year we think we’ve hit ‘peak tenuously-linked brand integration’ and year after year we’re shown that no, there’s no lemon that a David Zaz-type won’t try to squeeze into a diamond. This week: dank memes, TV for boomers, and asking Alexa+ to pour one out for Skype. 📺.

At this point, we’re like eighteen months away from the Property Brothers having their own cereal. Honestly it’s been a slippery slope ever since Reese’s Puffs. This week: TCL’s bush league OLED fear-mongering, Detroit style cookware, and the predictable end of the fast casual city challenge. 🌁.

This Sonos shakeup is the biggest corporate drama to hit the Santa Barbara area since the Silvergreens in Isla Vista closed. This week: a change of Venu, entertainment centers frozen in time, and more intrigue in the fast casual running challenge world. 📺.

Why aren’t business deals related to streaming services more like pro athlete deals? Fubo, you’re heading to Disney. Venu? You’re cut. Elmo? You’re the new power forward for the Pelicans. Hope you like humid summers buddy. This week: running for a [fast casual] cause, robot on robot crime, and EV showrooming. 🌯.

On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me, Three inflatable snowmen Two sets of string lights And a home improvement store finally rolling out support for contactless payments. That’s right folks, it’s the 2024 Holiday Spectacular. This week: Inside Bob Iger’s NBA, Italian smart lights, and the lump of coal that is Apple Intelligence (so far). 🪨.

“Dear Mr. Hanks, As you know, our Client owns all intellectual property rights globally in and to the concept of “your body breaking down and becoming a slow healing, creaky pile of mush after the age of 28.” Your blatant alteration and repurposing of this concept in the media constitutes unauthorized use and dilution of our Client’s prior art. We immediately demand you cease and desist all future activity related to conveying a specific date as to when aging really hits you like a ton of bricks. Or give us some of that Forest Gump money.” This week: make it a Blockbuster night. 🏎️

Kinda nice of Apple to spend the week before the election giving us all little bite size Mac updates as a distraction. Wait, new notification hold on. From the NYT: “Here’s why the Mac mini power button is bad news for Harris amongst undecided voters.” ffs. This week: cracklin’ lattes, Excel productivity, and defunct startups. ☕

How long until we have the Chipotle Burrito Assembly Line by Fisher Price® on every five year old’s Christmas list i mean really now. This week: Bay Area childless dog man parenting corner, EV door handles as a troubling metaphor, and Ryan backslides into his dangerous case-free lifestyle. 🐣.

The kids want media that’s quicker, more concise, and timely. That’s why we’re introducing the podcast equivalent of baseball’s pitch clock: “one quick thought”. Judging by the episode length, it’s a work in progress. This week: spiced is the new spiked, freemium is the new spon-con, and brining some Barlow energy to Waterloo.💦.

Two great tastes that taste great together, or a sign of a nation on the decline? The proof is in the faux-crème filling. This week: Steve Ballmer wants your face, Tim Cook wants your money, and Mela wants your recipes. 🏀.