
When Care Hides Harm: Questioning The Norms Behind Girls’ Domestic Work | Norms Lab Podcast Episode 26
When a girl is sent from her village to the city, the arrangement often arrives through someone trusted, an auntie, a grandmother, a neighbour who knows a family in Lagos. Her parents say “Nagode, Allah”, thank you, God and try to believe that school, safety and a better life are waiting on the other end of the journey.But for many girls, that hope quietly rearranges itself. She wakes before everyone and sleeps after everyone. School becomes “soon”, then “later”, then nothing at all. And when she asks why, she’s told be grateful for the roof over her head.Because this happens within families, it is rarely called harm. It is called help, assistance, or care.In this episode of The Norms Lab Podcast, Anjola Ayodele sits with Masturah Baba to unpack a practice woven so deeply into Nigerian household life that most of us grew up alongside it without naming what we were seeing.The conversation moves through:Why families agree to these arrangements and what they are really being promisedHow the promise of education becomes a pathway into full time labourWhy girls often remain silent, and why the adults around them hesitate to interveneWhat agency looks like for a girl living inside someone else’s homeWhat prevention, accountability, and real care look like in practiceHelp can become harm when it hardens into a norm we stop questioning. This is a conversation about seeing clearly, before another girl boards another bus.🎧 Watch on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/mzg-nLrzZv8






