Gratitude Through Hard Times

Hosted by Chris Schembra

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Oct 2026

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About the show

Chris Schembra is a dinner host, question asker, and facilitator. He's a columnist at Rolling Stone magazine, USA Today calls him their "Gratitude Guru" and he's spent the last nine years traveling around the world helping people connect in meaningful ways. As the offshoot of his #1 Wall Street Journal Bestselling book, Gratitude Through Hard Times, he uses this podcast to blend ancient stoic philosophy and modern day science to teach how the principles of gratitude can be used to help people get through their hard times. By finding the positive benefits from negative situations, and giving gratitude to them, listeners can develop the resilience and optimism needed to get through further trying times. Having used these principles to spark over 500,000 relationships through his workshops and his experiences, this podcast now aims to educate listeners across the world.

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October 26, 202652 min

Bill Barrett: Transformational, Not Transactional

"Trying to be transformational in all of your relationships instead of transactional is probably one of the biggest, if not the biggest, takeaway." — Bill Barrett In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, Chris Schembra sits down with Bill Barrett, CEO of Mandelbaum Barrett, a full-service law firm headquartered in New Jersey with over 150 attorneys practicing in 30 practice areas. Bill hosts the Fingerprints on Success podcast. His new book, Authentic , came out in May. It's a tribute to his father, Dave, built on the business principles Dave taught him: integrity, presence, resilience, and relationships that outlast transactions. Asked the 7:47 gratitude question, Bill thanks his dad, whose "fingerprints are kinda all over the person that I've become." From there the conversation turns to Bill's core message. Relationships should be transformational, not transactional. And because fewer people work that way today, the ones who do stand out. Bill shares the stories behind that belief. A fellow managing partner snubbed him at a conference, and the moment showed him the scarcity he never wants to live in. He met a young lawyer for lunch, gave advice freely, and a month later that relationship brought a fabulous engagement, with referrals flowing in both directions ever since. Then there's the single largest piece of business of his career. After settling a contentious non-compete dispute, Bill invited opposing counsel, Seth, to a Friday lunch to celebrate the good work they'd done for their clients. The next Monday, Seth and his managing partner called with a referral that became over a million dollars a year of legal work for seven consecutive years. Chris connects the stories to Seneca's "bookkeeping of benefits," to Adam Grant's Give and Take , and to a friend who donated to his clients' favorite charities and then shredded the receipts. Bill describes how his friend Mark Murphy leads with people's dangers, opportunities, and strengths. They also talk about why Bill hires "unicorns" with old-school values, the Zig Ziglar tapes his dad played on the commute from New Jersey to New York City, and Chris's first-ever rapid-fire questions from his upcoming book, Earn Connection . Themes & Highlights Thanking his father, Dave: the relationship that shaped Bill's life and his book Authentic Transformational vs. transactional relationships, and why being transformational now makes you stand out Why "work-life balance" never made sense to Bill: it's all "one big life" Abundance over scarcity: viewing competitors as colleagues, collaborators, and referral sources The adversary lunch that led to over a million dollars a year of legal work for seven straight years Seneca's "bookkeeping of benefits" and giving without keeping score New ways to give: introductions, a good question, holding space, and the four kinds of personal capital (intellectual, emotional, network, financial) Dangers, opportunities, strengths: how Mark Murphy helps people before they even know what he does Zig Ziglar cassette tapes, "hit them where they ain't," and why old-school values are the new white space Hiring for character: Division I athletes, unicorns, and "I can teach that person anything" Rapid fire: where to slow down or wake up, where to look around, and what to accept (or not) Unity after 9/11, the 2004 Red Sox, and what Bill would say to his dad today Chapters 00:00 Hook: The adversary lunch 00:25 Intro 01:05 Welcome & meet Bill Barrett 04:42 The 7:47 gratitude question 06:12 Gratitude for his father, Dave 08:23 Transformational, not transactional 12:22 What stands in the way: time and "one big life" 14:32 Scarcity vs. abundance: competitors as colleagues 16:38 The snub at the conference 19:53 Lunch with a young lawyer 21:30 The adversary lunch: his largest piece of business 24:04 Seneca, Adam Grant & the bookkeeping of benefits 26:11 Don't keep score 27:38 The personal capital index: new ways to give 29:36 Dangers, opportunities, strengths: Mark Murphy 35:41 Zig Ziglar tapes & old-school wisdom 37:01 Hit them where they ain't 38:16 Unicorns, Division I athletes & hiring for values 41:13 Rapid fire: slow down or wake up? 43:05 Where do you need to look around? 44:45 What must you accept? Finding common ground 48:19 The 2004 Red Sox 49:21 What would you say to your dad? 50:24 Closing thoughts

October 16, 202659 min

Rick Sems: Heart at Peace

Rick Sems: Heart at Peace "The get-rich-quick scheme is actually to do a couple of things really well for a sustained period of time, and you set yourself apart." — Rick Sems Real leadership isn't about running fast in every direction—it's about building deep human relationships, compounding wisdom over decades, and choosing peace over perpetual conflict. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, host Chris Schembra sits down with Rick Sems, CEO of Equity Bank. Rick reflects on his family's immigrant roots, leading a multi-billion-dollar regional bank, applying the Influence Pyramid from The Anatomy of Peace, and why mastering three core focus areas beats chasing endless shiny initiatives. The 5 Levels of the Influence Pyramid (From The Anatomy of Peace) Shift Posture: Heart at Peace (Base): See people as human beings rather than objects or obstacles. Build Relationships: Invest in deep personal trust with those you wish to influence. Listen & Learn: Create space to authentically understand what others are experiencing. Teach & Communicate: Share your vision, values, and expectations with clarity. Correct / Fix (Top): Address behaviors—which becomes much easier once levels 1–4 are firmly established. 10 Memorable Quotes: "The get-rich-quick scheme is actually to do a couple of things really well for a sustained period of time, and you set yourself apart." — Rick Sems "People don't care about how much you know until they know how much you care." — Rick Sems "Vulnerability actually makes you stronger." — Rick Sems "Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else." — Rick Sems "When you shift from seeing people as objects to seeing people as people, you shift from a heart at war to a heart at peace." — Chris Schembra "Compounding happens in everything we do—it happens in your decision-making." — Rick Sems "Change is loss, loss is grief, and grief creates anxiety. As leaders, we have to sit with people in their grief and anxiety." — Rick Sems "Fear and gratitude cannot coexist." — Chris Schembra "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra "If you can put two things together that are diametrically opposed, you create a differentiation that is hard to beat." — Rick Sems 10 Key Takeaways: Heart at Peace: Stop seeing colleagues and clients as obstacles; view them as human beings. The Influence Pyramid: Solve issues by building trust and listening before trying to correct behavior. Help Things Go Right: Shift focus away from crisis firefighting toward building foundational trust. Rule of Three: Focus on 3 core strategic goals rather than executing dozens of superficial tasks. Confidence & Humility: Balance strong executive drive with genuine personal humility. Empathy in M&A: Recognize that corporate acquisitions create loss and anxiety for acquired teams. Compounding Wisdom: Real expertise is built over sustained time through repeated, hands-on reps. Proactive Mentorship: Encourage rising leaders to raise their hands and ask for guidance. Genius of the "And": Combine organic growth with profitability to build sustainable advantages. Physical Co-Creation: Recharge resilience through manual labor and shared offline activities. About Our Guest: Rick Sems is the Chief Executive Officer of Equity Bank, leading day-to-day operations and growth across its regional footprint. He previously served as Chief Banking Officer at First Bank in St. Louis and President/CEO of Reliance Bank. Rick holds a B.A. from Grove City College and an MBA from the University of Michigan Ross School of Business.

October 9, 202652 min

Kimberli Carroll: Human Intelligence

"The more that you learn about what is, the more it frees you up to think about what could be." — Kimberli Carroll In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times , host Chris Schembra sits down with Kimberli Carroll, President and CEO of Ruiz Food Products. Kimberli reflects on her leadership journey—from working in California's Central Valley packing houses to stewarding over 3,800 team members at the largest frozen Mexican food manufacturer in the United States. She breaks down why human intelligence and emotional safety matter more than ever alongside rapid AI adoption, how leaders can cultivate psychological safety before crises hit, and why bringing diverse people together to solve hard problems creates lasting joy and organizational resilience. 10 Memorable Quotes: "The more that you learn about what is, the more it frees you up to think about what could be." — Kimberli Carroll "When you're pushing up against something hard and making a real effort, accomplishing things that are hard is joyful." — Kimberli Carroll "My obligation to myself is to figure out how I put myself in situations where I can help people come together to solve problems." — Kimberli Carroll "Real currency in a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort." — Chris Schembra "AI doesn't replace us; all it does is create a better opportunity for us to get better faster." — Kimberli Carroll "We don't want technology to replace human relationships—we want it to augment and enhance them." — Kimberli Carroll "At the end of the day, when a life is well lived and it's over, people won't mention your business metrics—it's more about the interaction they had with you." — Kimberli Carroll "A leader's responsibility is to figure out how to create that level of engagement to get the best out of folks." — Kimberli Carroll "Fear and gratitude cannot coexist." — Chris Schembra "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: Human Intelligence Alongside AI: Using artificial intelligence to rapidly synthesize existing knowledge ("what is") so human minds are freed up to imagine novel solutions ("what could be"). Building Psychological Safety in Advance: Cultivating deep, in-person trust and emotional safety across teams long before relying on it during times of organizational pressure. The Leader as a "Brave Gatherer": Leveraging the superpower of convening people with diverse backgrounds, cultural norms, and perspectives to solve complex enterprise challenges. Joy in Overcoming Hard Obstacles: Reframing workplace friction and difficult goals not as drudgery, but as the essential source of genuine professional growth and shared victory. Believing in Others' Unrealized Potential: Instilling confidence in team members by painting a picture of who they can become, transforming doubt into self-efficacy and bold execution. Navigating Misaligned Performance with Grace: Accepting when individuals are not in the right season or fit for a role, handling transitions with generosity while holding a consistently high performance bar. Mitigating "Jevons Paradox" and Cognitive Decay: Consciously resisting digital isolation, remote fatigue, and screen dependency by intentionally designing face-to-face gatherings. Cascading Human-Centered Leadership: Structuring leadership development so direct reports experience personalized stewardship and, in turn, extend that care down to front-line workers. Community Stewardship & Philanthropy: Connecting corporate mission with local community support through active engagement with organizations like the Boys & Girls Club. Honoring a Legacy of Service: Carrying forward foundational life lessons learned from family—such as showing up for others without expectation of reward—to ground executive decision-making. About our Guest: Kimberli Carroll is the President and Chief Executive Officer of Ruiz Food Products, Inc., the nation’s largest manufacturer of frozen Mexican foods, including flagship brands El Monterey and Taquis / Tornados. Raised in California’s Central Valley, Kimberli began her career working in agricultural packing houses before joining Ruiz Foods, where she has served for more than 25 years in various executive roles spanning sales, marketing, supply chain, and general management. Under her leadership, Ruiz Foods operates manufacturing and distribution facilities across the United States, employing over 3,800 team members. Kimberli holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Organizational Leadership. Beyond her corporate steward duties for the third-generation, family-owned business, she serves on the Board of Directors for the Boys & Girls Club of Collin County in Texas. She resides in Frisco, Texas, with her family.

September 30, 20261 hr 27 min

Philip Anthony Schembra: Sales as an Act of Service

"If you stop learning, you stop growing." — Philip Schembra In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this landmark 300th episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times , host Chris Schembra welcomes his father, Philip Anthony Schembra, owner and Broker-in-Charge of Schembra Real Estate Group. Philip reflects on his roots in Glen Ridge, New Jersey, his record-breaking 50-year career in Hilton Head Island real estate, and his lifelong commitment to sales as an act of service, connection, and mentorship. He breaks down the importance of specialization, reading social styles with empathy, and balancing high ambition with family, lifestyle, and philanthropy. 10 Memorable Quotes: "If you stop learning, you stop growing." — Philip Schembra "I don't think work is defined by the way people think. If you let work be fun, enjoyable, and rewarding, it's not work. I stopped working forever ago." — Philip Schembra "When you're in need, ask for help. From an efficiency standpoint, it gets you to where you want to go a heck of a lot faster." — Philip Schembra "Be a specialist, and then be the best that you possibly could be at whatever product you have." — Philip Schembra "Real currency in a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort." — Chris Schembra "You don't want to be the richest guy in the cemetery." — Philip Schembra "In anything you do in life, if you don't believe in it, don't do it." — Philip Schembra "If you get out of your world and get into your client's world, everything opens up." — Philip Schembra "When you give, you get." — Philip Schembra "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: Embracing Specialization Over Generalization: How narrowing focus exclusively to Palmetto Dunes, Shelter Cove, and Leamington built a record-breaking, resilient real estate practice. Reading Social Styles with Empathy: Applying Wilson Learning's social styles model (Amiable, Expressive, Analytical, Driver) to step into the client's world through active listening. Asking for Help as Trust Building: Overcoming ego to proactively seek guidance from mentors, colleagues, and experts to strengthen teams and accelerate growth. Translating Athletics to Enterprise: Carrying the mindset of preparation, positive mental attitude, and team culture learned under legendary Glen Ridge High School coaches into business success. Selling Experiences Over Mere Investment: Positioning real estate around family memories, lifestyle, and community enjoyment rather than transactional numbers. The Power of Mentorship: Drawing lifelong strategic wisdom from senior executives, including former RCA Victor President Norman Racusin. Balancing Work, Lifestyle, and Philanthropy: Creating a "diversified happiness income" by intertwining business achievements with community service, sports foundations, and charitable causes. Pivoting Priorities for Family: Cold-turkeying extensive national speaking circuits to prioritize being present for family milestones and raising a child. Human Connection as Tomorrow's Edge: Reclaiming interpersonal relationships, active listening, and face-to-face communication as digital technology and AI expand. Grit as Passion and Perseverance: Maintaining a 50-year commitment to a single community to achieve over $1.25 billion in individual sales through market cycles. About our Guest: Philip Anthony Schembra is the Owner and Broker-in-Charge of Schembra Real Estate Group, specializing in luxury oceanfront and resort properties in Palmetto Dunes, Shelter Cove, and Leamington on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. Since 1976, Phil has achieved over $1.25 billion in individual sales across 2,000 transactions, making him the #1 all-time listing and selling agent in Hilton Head Island history for a single community. A Glen Ridge, New Jersey native and LIU Post graduate, Phil was inducted into the Glen Ridge High School Athletic Hall of Fame for football and track. Beyond real estate, he co-created sales training programs such as THE TOTAL SALESPERSON® and co-founded major national philanthropic initiatives, including the Thurman Munson Awards Dinner and the Golf World | Palmetto Dunes Intercollegiate Golf Tournament. Phil resides on the ocean in Palmetto Dunes with his wife and business partner, Carol.

September 19, 202649 min

Kevin Jones: High Tech & High Touch

"Living a life of gratitude eliminates entitlement and eliminates so many obstacles to success." — Kevin Jones In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this special 299th episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times , host Chris Schembra sits down with Kevin Jones, founder and CEO of Celero Commerce. Kevin reflects on building Celero into a top-10 non-bank payments processor, steering through black swan market events, and combining high-tech platform innovation with high-touch human connection. He breaks down why respect and humility are essential cornerstones of leadership, how genuine followership makes better leaders, and why holding low ego allows teams to achieve extraordinary scale together. 10 Memorable Quotes: "Living a life of gratitude eliminates entitlement and eliminates so many obstacles to success." — Kevin Jones "You cannot be a good leader if you're not a good follower. Followership is something everybody should spend a little time on." — Kevin Jones "Respect and humility are cornerstones... if you remain respectful and humble, you can solve incredibly difficult problems with people who have different backgrounds and beliefs." — Kevin Jones "Your job as a leader is really to facilitate outcomes, not dictate them." — Kevin Jones "For every five years, expect at least one black swan. As part of being a good leader, you need to hone your skills at managing through it." — Kevin Jones "Real currency in a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort." — Chris Schembra "When you take on a challenge, you burn your ships and go chase that challenge. You don't have one foot in and one foot out." — Kevin Jones "It's okay for leaders to allow themselves to be vulnerable and have some fun with their teams." — Kevin Jones "Fear and gratitude cannot coexist." — Chris Schembra "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: High-Tech Meets High-Touch: Balancing cutting-edge fintech payment integrations with deep, relationship-driven partner care to build sustainable competitive advantage. The Power of Respect & Humility: Eradicating entitlement in business culture by focusing on merit, continuous learning, and mutual respect across diverse perspectives. Practicing Genuine "Followership": Understanding that effective executives must first know how to align with, support, and execute under other strong leaders. Navigating "Black Swan" Market Events: Developing leadership muscle to maintain composure, protect employee families, and protect investor trust through unexpected macroeconomic downturns. Leading with Love over Machiavellian Fear: Shifting away from rigid top-down authority to collaborative environments built on trust, psychological safety, and productive dissent. Granting Permission to Pause: Recognizing that while M&A transitions and high-growth phases demand intense sprinting, leaders must proactively grant teams permission to rest and recharge. Managing the "Silence Tax": Encouraging open dissent and diverse voices within leadership teams to avoid costly, unexamined strategic missteps. Surrounding Yourself with Superior Talent: Maintaining low ego by hiring specialists who are smarter in their respective operational domains than the CEO. Carrying the Invisible Weight of Responsibility: Acknowledging the heavy, unsaid burden leaders carry to safeguard the livelihoods of employees, families, and pension investors. Anchoring Strength in Personal Relationships: Recognizing how unshakeable support from family and partners builds the confidence required to take bold entrepreneurial risks. About our Guest: Kevin G. Jones is the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Celero Commerce, a top-10 non-bank payment processor and one of the fastest-growing financial services companies headquartered in Tennessee. Founded in late 2018, Celero combines business management software, data analytics, and modern payment solutions to serve over 50,000 small-to-midsized American businesses through financial institution partnerships, software integrations, and direct merchant strategies. Under Kevin’s leadership, Celero executed 12 strategic acquisitions alongside organic growth, culminating in its acquisition by Deluxe Corporation. Leveraging over two decades of fintech experience, Kevin began his career at Chase Paymentech building strategic partner solutions before driving growth at First American Payment Systems. In 2013, he founded Anovia Payments, delivering an 8.5x investment return and driving organic growth to over 10,000 customers. Kevin previously served as President of the Electronic Transactions Association (ETA), advocating for government relations and member initiatives on Capitol Hill. He holds a Bachelor's degree in Political Science from the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with his wife, Carol, and their three children.

September 10, 202645 min

James Farrin: Ordinary Heroes

"When you're in need, you realize you need help. And when you're successful, you realize you got help all along." — James Farrin In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times , host Chris Schembra sits down with James "Jim" Farrin, founder, President, and CEO of the Law Offices of James Scott Farrin. Jim reflects on growing up across 10 countries in 17 years, applying rigorous business principles to plaintiff representation, and taking on one of the largest civil rights litigations in U.S. history. He breaks down why authentic leadership requires intentional culture, why high metrics can distort purpose, and how focusing on service frees leaders from personal despair. 10 Memorable Quotes: "When you're in need, you realize you need help. And when you're successful, you realize you got help all along." — James Farrin "In a time of despair, turning attention outwards and focusing on the people you serve sets you free and gets you out of your own head." — James Farrin "Culture is either defined intentionally by leadership or by the strongest personality in the room." — James Farrin "Real currency in a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort." — Chris Schembra "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." — Chris Schembra (referencing Goodhart's Law) "No man is an island. We need people, we've always needed people, and we need them more than ever." — James Farrin "Our clients aren't superheroes—they're ordinary people who overcome adversity through faith, perseverance, and getting the right help." — James Farrin "In a world of everlasting change, find the constants and savor the constancy around you." — Chris Schembra "We must step out of the tyranny of the 'or' and into the genius of the 'and'." — Chris Schembra (quoting Jim Collins) "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: Navigating Constant Transition: Lessons from living across 10 countries in 17 years on leaning into family constants, building adaptability, and trusting that new chapters always work out. Turning Despair Into Empathy: How refocusing on the suffering of marginalized clients during high-stakes civil rights litigation removed personal worry and provided purpose. Building Culture via "The JSF Way": Translating abstract corporate values into 24 concrete, daily behaviors that are actively practiced, evaluated, and reinforced firm-wide. Establishing a "South Star": Defining explicitly what an organization will not tolerate—such as greed, lack of accountability, self-centeredness, and "being a jerk". Avoiding Goodhart's Law in Business Growth: Recognizing when aggressive numerical growth targets (like 15% annual growth) risk outkicking quality, and shifting focus back to client-centric meaning. The Power of Confident Humility: Drawing inspiration from military leaders and achieving high-level legal success while maintaining unpretentious humility and honoring team contributions. Resisting Digital & AI Isolation: Preserving human-to-human empathy and direct client relationships instead of outsourcing core human care to automated chatbots and scripts. Fire Bullets, Then Cannonballs: Testing small strategic initiatives before making multi-million dollar or firm-wide commitments. Finding Modern Heroism in Ordinary People: Celebrating everyday perseverance, vulnerability, and resilience over performative social media achievements. Sustaining Unsaid Gratitude: Creating regular operational space to acknowledge the mentors, family members, and team members who make collective success possible. About our Guest: James "Jim" Scott Farrin is the founder, President, and CEO of the Law Offices of James Scott Farrin, one of the largest plaintiff's firms in the Carolinas. Since opening his doors in Durham, North Carolina in September 1997, Jim has grown the firm to more than 60 attorneys serving clients across North and South Carolina, recovering over $2 billion in compensation for more than 78,000 injured people. His practice areas include personal injury, workers' compensation, Social Security disability, and civil rights litigation, and he is best known in the legal community for applying rigorous business principles to the practice of law itself, an approach that has been the subject of guest lectures at his alma mater's Master of Judicial Studies Program. Jim's path to the courtroom is not a conventional one. The oldest of five children, he spent his childhood in 10 different countries over 17 years while his father worked internationally for Colgate-Palmolive and other global brands, before returning to the United States for his last two years of high school at Phillips Exeter Academy in New Hampshire. He went on to earn a B.A. in Philosophy from Trinity College in Hartford, where he was elected to Phi Beta Kappa, and a J.D. with honors from Duke University School of Law. He began his career at a corporate firm in California, but found the work lacking in meaning and nearly left the law entirely. In 1995 he returned to Durham, joined a plaintiffs' firm, and remembers to this day the first personal injury client he handed a settlement to. He has not looked back. Jim played a leading role in In re Black Farmers Discrimination Litigation , one of the largest civil rights cases in United States history. He is a member of the Million Dollar Advocates Forum, the American Association for Justice's Leaders Forum, the North Carolina Advocates for Justice, the Public Justice Foundation, and the North Carolina Bar Association. He has been recognized on Business North Carolina's Power List for Law, named among North Carolina's Most Influential Leaders, and honored with a 2021 Diversity & Inclusion Award.

September 7, 202650 min

Kathryn Jezer-Morton: Backstage Integrity

"We don't really think as much about who we are when no one's watching... that's where a lot of integrity comes from, and it's where we learn to enjoy our lives." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times , host Chris Schembra sits down with Kathryn Jezer-Morton, sociologist, columnist at The Cut , and author of The Story of Your Life: How Social Media Shapes the Way We Experience Everything . Kathryn breaks down the concept of "friction maxing"—reintroducing positive friction into our lives to counteract frictionless, algorithm-driven efficiency. She explores how social media platforms have transformed everyday experiences into performative brand management and why reclaiming nuanced, "flat" stories can restore authentic human connection. 10 Memorable Quotes: "We don't really think as much about who we are when no one's watching... that's where a lot of integrity comes from, and it's where we learn to enjoy our lives." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "Humanity itself is never going to be simple. It's never going to be linear." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "The purpose of a flat story is to provide an honest accounting of what real life is like." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "Real currency in a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort." — Chris Schembra "When a metric becomes a measure, it ceases to become a good measure." — Chris Schembra (referencing Goodhart's Law) "Friction maxing is about inviting the unknown into your life and having to react to it." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "To take a photograph of something is to appropriate the thing being photographed." — Chris Schembra (quoting Susan Sontag) "We have come to see ordinary stories as boring because we are so used to crazy up-and-down peaks and valleys." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "Unjudgmental listening gives people the confidence to become better storytellers." — Kathryn Jezer-Morton "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: Understanding "Friction Maxing": Embracing intentional, offline friction to counter hyper-optimized digital culture and restore real meaning to personal relationships. The Strength of Weak Ties on Social Media: How digital platforms leverage loose acquaintances to pass social information, while strong ties remain essential for deep emotional resilience. Moving Beyond the "Man in the Hole" Formula: Rejecting performative, dopamine-driven comeback narratives in favor of "flat stories" that capture the realistic, everyday plateaus of human life. The Rise of "Brand Called You": Examining how ordinary social media users inadvertently communicate like corporate brands, curating a polished, risk-averse front stage. Developing "Backstage Integrity": Cultivating personal experiences, private habits, and self-worth when cameras and social media audiences aren't watching. Escaping "Airspace" and Homogenized Experiences: Resisting standardized, Instagram-curated travel aesthetics in order to invite unpredictable, authentic cultural discovery. The Trap of Dual Experiences: Recognizing how document-first culture forces people to experience life twice—first living the moment, then packaging it for public consumption. Communal Storytelling Roots: Drawing lessons from intentional communities and hippy communes on how shared stories hold groups together without commercial incentives. Building Critical Media Literacy: Developing a "skeleton key" to understand algorithmic behavior and view performative social media posting with greater empathy rather than judgment. Unjudgmental Listening as Mentorship: How safe, non-evaluative spaces provided by mentors and family allow individuals to explore complex personal narratives. About our Guest: Kathryn Jezer-Morton is a journalist and sociologist whose work sits at the intersection of family life, identity, and digital culture. She is the author of "Brooding," the biweekly column at New York Magazine's The Cut , where she reports on modern family life and the invisible ways social platforms shape it. Her debut book, The Story of Your Life: How Social Media Shapes the Way We Experience Everything (Penguin Random House, August 2026), examines how algorithm-driven platforms have quietly rewritten not just how we share our lives, but which lives we choose to lead. The book was named a Best New Book of Summer by The Globe and Mail , a Must-Read of August by Marie Claire , Chicago Review of Books , and Lit Hub , and was among The New York Times 's 22 Books Coming in August. The Times called it "breezily inquisitive... intellectual generosity... hopeful and unscolding." Kathryn's byline has appeared in The New York Times , The Nation , The Guardian , BuzzFeed , Jezebel , Maisonneuve , and elsewhere. Much of her writing centers on ambivalence, the shady human emotion that social media, with its bright performative hits and insistence on redemption, largely fails to capture. Her work has become a touchstone for readers navigating the widening gap between the life they are actually living and the life the feed rewards them for performing. Kathryn holds a Ph.D. in Sociology from Concordia University, where her doctoral research focused on motherhood and online discourse. She is represented by Aevitas Creative Management and lives in Montreal with her partner and their two children.

August 31, 202645 min

Nishat Mehta: Confident Humility

"When something becomes a measurement, it stops becoming a good target." In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, host Chris Schembra sits down with Nishat Mehta, CEO of Lexitas. A Harvard-trained mathematician and computer scientist turned executive, Nishat breaks down how leaders can navigate rapid change by embracing dialectical thinking—holding two seemingly competing truths at the same time. From balancing bottom-line performance with human empathy to shifting parenting styles as children grow, Nishat shares key insights on Goodhart's Law, confident humility, and finding extraordinary meaning in ordinary moments. 10 Memorable Quotes: "The new normal is that it will just keep changing. It really comes down to the ability to accept the change yourself and then lead the change amongst those around you." — Nishat Mehta "Confident humility balances high confidence in one's ability to figure things out with low ego regarding one's own current knowledge." — Chris Schembra "When something becomes a measurement, it stops becoming a good target." — Nishat Mehta "Always find the extraordinary in the ordinary." — Chris Schembra "Everything is on a spectrum... the edges of the spectrum are rarely the right answer." — Nishat Mehta "Efficiency increases consumption if you're not careful." — Chris Schembra "The journey is far more important than the destination... if we are constantly changing, it's because we are succeeding at the things we needed to do before." — Nishat Mehta "We must step out of the tyranny of the 'or' and into the genius of the 'and'." — Chris Schembra "Great work is something you're supposed to do, but recognizing what might seem ordinary is worthy of extraordinary gratitude." — Nishat Mehta "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: Practicing Confident Humility: Balancing low ego regarding current knowledge with high confidence in a team's adaptability to solve complex, unfamiliar problems. Overcoming Goodhart's Law: Why single metrics distort business outcomes, and how pairing competing targets (like quantity vs. quality) maintains operational integrity. The "Genius of the 'And'": Replacing rigid "either/or" tradeoffs with dialectical thinking that unites radical acceptance with proactive change. Navigating Shifts in Family & Parenting: Transitioning from physical, hands-on care for young children to emotional, social mentorship as they grow into independence. Understanding Jevons Paradox in Modern Work: Recognizing how efficiency gains from AI can be swallowed by routine busyness unless leaders intentionally safeguard time for human connection. Harnessing "Collective Effervescence": Leveraging physical experiences, shared sports, and community gatherings to foster genuine human harmony and connection. Lowering Barriers to Access Justice: Applying technology and low-level AI guidance to make legal support more affordable, equitable, and fair. Change Management as a Core Leadership Skill: Shifting focus from day-to-day tactical execution toward building organizational consensus and motivating teams through continuous evolution. Finding Extraordinary Meaning in Ordinary Moments: Cultivating daily awareness to appreciate quiet family routines and ordinary acts of care that are often taken for granted. Embracing the Business Journey Over Destinations: Accepting that strategic goals evolve naturally as progress is made, making the growth process the ultimate measure of success. About our Guest: Nishat Mehta is the Chief Executive Officer of Lexitas, a leading national provider of technology-enabled litigation services and an Apax portfolio company based in Houston, Texas. He stepped into the CEO seat on January 1, 2025, having originally joined the company as President and Chief Operating Officer in March 2024. Under his leadership, Lexitas is launching AI-enabled deposition analysis, expanding its eLaw case-tracking platform, and continuing to serve law firms, insurance companies, and corporations across all 50 states. Nishat brings more than two decades of leadership across data, analytics, and enterprise technology. He most recently served as President of Global Products and Solutions and Chief Product Officer at Circana (formed from the merger of IRI and The NPD Group), where he ran the firm's global media, analytics, e-commerce, software, and consulting divisions. Prior to Circana, he led the customer communications team at 84.51° (Kroger's data-science and personalization arm), directed strategic partnerships at dunnhumby, and spent 15 years at MicroStrategy. He also serves on the Board of Directors of The E.W. Scripps Company (NASDAQ: SSP) and on the Board of Advisors of Adelaide Metrics. Nishat holds a Bachelor's degree in Applied Mathematics and a Master's degree in Computer Science, both from Harvard University. He lives in New York with his wife, Shalini, and their three children. His guiding quote, from John Wooden: ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

August 19, 202656 min

Ayla Nova: Yoga Nidra

"Work-life balance isn't a thing... it's about work-life harmony." In a world obsessed with digital efficiency and quick fixes, the real currency of a meaningful life remains independent thought, presence, and intentional effort. In this episode of Gratitude Through Hard Times, host Chris Schembra sits down with Ayla Nova, founder of Yoga Nidra & Beyond and creator of The Peace in Rest Program. From navigating life-altering health crises and traumatic brain injuries to guiding listeners worldwide toward restorative sleep and mental clarity, Ayla breaks down the science, psychology, and spiritual practice of non-sleep deep rest (NSDR). She shares key lessons on managing internal tension, unlearning limiting beliefs, and using intentional stillness to unlock human intuition and creative genius. 10 Memorable Quotes: "Surrender to something bigger than yourself, lean into discipline to do positive work for our world, and you'll have the power to make the world a better place tomorrow." — Chris Schembra "Discipline is a ring on the door... when you show up for yourself in that way, then the opportunities start knocking." — Ayla Nova "We get so busy in the doing that we forget that the answer is being." — Ayla Nova "Yoga Nidra is true surrender, but it's also a practice for integrating your reality so that you can bring it out into the world when you're complete." — Ayla Nova "The present moment is flawless." — Ayla Nova "When you're being honest with yourself, where do you feel the tension in your body? And what would be the opposite of that experience?" — Ayla Nova "If AI helps you stand and run fast, and meditation helps you sit with your thoughts, Yoga Nidra is done laying down on the floor." — Chris Schembra "A leader's act of self-care means to be regulated from a capacity standpoint yourself so that then you can pour that capacity positively into others." — Chris Schembra "Learning is not differentiated... the hard thing that requires discipline is the unlearning part that comes from surrender." — Chris Schembra "Gratitude doesn't change your circumstances; it changes your capacity to carry them." — Chris Schembra 10 Key Takeaways: The Healing Power of Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR): How Ayla used Yoga Nidra to heal and rebuild her life through severe health crises, loss of mobility, and a traumatic brain injury. Navigating the Tension of Opposites: Learning to hold space for contrasting internal states—such as uncertainty and trust—to discover a grounded middle path. Unlocking Intuition over Artificial Logic: Accessing Vijnanamaya Kosha (the inner wisdom body) through intentional rest to make creative decisions from intuition rather than forced analytical logic. Shifting from Reactive to Responsive Leadership: Regulating the nervous system to cultivate essential leadership traits: discernment, patience, clarity, and acceptance. Broadening the Cognitive Periphery: Stepping back from narrow, task-oriented focus to view broader data points, connect disparate ideas, and make wiser long-term strategic choices. The Metaphor of the Ground and Surrender: Using Savasana (corpse pose) to quiet the ego, let go of performative busyness, and reconnect with fundamental human truth. Reallocating Time with "Einstein Time": Overcoming the illusion of calendar scarcity by being fully present in current moments, effectively creating expansive time elsewhere. Integrative Mental Health Practices: Moving beyond passive escapism and digital input to engage in conscious rest that processes stored emotional tension. The Power of "Unlearning": Recognizing that modern growth requires unlearning old mental models through stillness before relearning new frameworks. Daily Discipline as Self-Trust: Embracing consistency and structured self-care routines to build deep internal trust and model integrity for others. About our Guest: Ayla Nova is a trauma-informed Yoga Nidra guide, teacher trainer, and the founder of Yoga Nidra & Beyond, a global platform for Non-Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) that reaches listeners each week through her podcast, YouTube channel, and the Nova Nidra Community. Her work centers on the conviction that awareness is the key to remapping the mind and that deep rest is the doorway to nervous-system regulation, emotional healing, and radical self-acceptance. Through her signature Peace in Rest Program and 2026 Teacher Training, she certifies the next generation of Yoga Nidra guides. Ayla began her yoga journey in 2011 and earned her 200-hour yoga teacher certification in 2015 at Shri Kali Ashram in Goa, India, followed by trainings in Ashtanga and Kaula Tantra. In 2018, when diagnosed with a rare form of biphenotypic leukemia, she turned inward, making Yoga Nidra her therapy. She trained with the School of Sankalpa and in Integrative Restoration (iRest) with certified yoga therapist Barbara Eastham, and she is a lifetime Vedic Meditation practitioner. Today, Ayla lives and teaches in Calgary, Alberta, where her sessions are known for their trauma-sensitive framing, seasonal and archetypal themes, and sanctuary-like voice, guided by her refrain: rest well, be well.

August 13, 202647 min

Nicolas Peluffo : Disconnecting into Awe

In a hyper-connected world filled with constant noise, notifications, and performance, we often travel just to capture the photo rather than live the moment. But what happens when true luxury isn't about being seen—it's about the privilege of disappearing? In this profound episode, Chris Schembra sits down with Nicolas Peluffo , CEO of Awasi Lodges. With over two decades of experience across hospitality, real estate, and finance, Nicolas explores how Awasi’s carbon-neutral, Relais & Châteaux lodges in South America—from Patagonia and the Atacama Desert to Iguazú and Santa Catarina—provide the setting for guests to disconnect, surrender control, and reconnect with intrinsic human awe. Together, they discuss why time and space are the ultimate modern luxuries, how unscripted nature lowers cortisol and restores genius-level creativity, why hiring for attitude over aptitude is the secret to true hospitality, and how surrendering to the present moment unlocks our deepest clarity. 10 Memorable Quotes "You come to experience something unique, right? To be in awe. And that's the reason that makes you get there." — Nicolas Peluffo "A normal hospitality company says, 'We're your home away from home.' The way we approach it is: this is your best friend's home." — Nicolas Peluffo "We're hit by way too many distractions—noise, people, email, text... that makes it increasingly difficult for anyone to be human." — Nicolas Peluffo "We all need that connection with nature. We all need that disconnection from the noise and the things that are unimportant." — Nicolas Peluffo "We're not built to be in a seat, on a sofa, definitely not in a shopping mall." — Nicolas Peluffo "When looking for attitude versus aptitude, attitude always prevails. It's very difficult to teach someone to smile, but it's pretty easy to teach someone to use Excel." — Nicolas Peluffo "Smile, not because you were told to smile. Smile because this is what you were meant to do." — Nicolas Peluffo "Hospitality is unlike any other customer experience. I don't think any other business has the same level of vulnerability and surrender both ways." — Nicolas Peluffo "Surrendering for me is letting go of all those constraints that the world told us—that we need to be better, faster, cheaper." — Nicolas Peluffo "Forcing things into existence is not the best way of going about things... Flow happens when you surrender." — Nicolas Peluffo 10 Key Takeaways The Privilege of Disappearing: In an overstimulated society, true well-being comes from reaching places where you can become unreachable and step away from constant noise. Hyper-Customized Hospitality: Exceptional experiences are built around individual human pacing ("your pace, your space") with dedicated guides and private vehicles rather than rigid group itineraries. Space for Cognitive Genius: Slowing down in nature allows the brain to process internal insights, creating the mental space needed for breakthrough creativity and innovation. The Neurobiology of Awe: Immersing oneself in vast natural landscapes reduces cortisol, lowers inflammation, and shifts focus away from big egos toward prosocial connection. Unstaged and Unscripted Moments: Authentic human experiences cannot be transactional or manufactured; they flourish in unscripted interactions with nature and local cultures. Hiring for Heart and Energy: True hospitality cannot be scripted; organizations must hire people with an innate inclination to serve, prioritize attitude over skills, and cultivate genuine presence. The Power of the Smile: Emotional energy is transmitted instantly—even through a phone call—making authentic warmth and positive energy essential for meaningful human connection. The Vulnerability of Hospitality: Creating transformative experiences requires mutual trust and vulnerability between host and guest as people share meals, stories, and life moments. Surrender Before Power: Letting go of the need to control every outcome opens up flow, presence, and deeper alignment both in leadership and in personal life. Living Intrinsically vs. Extrinsically: Shifting from external validation (like social media approval) to intrinsic presence transforms a brief transaction into a lifelong memory. About Our Guest Nicolas Peluffo is the Chief Executive Officer of Awasi Lodges, a collection of carbon-neutral luxury lodges and Relais & Châteaux member set in South America’s most remote corners—including the Atacama Desert, Torres del Paine, Iguazú, and Santa Catarina. Bringing over 23 years of experience across hospitality, real estate, finance, and technology, Nicolas previously served as Founder and CEO of TRVLR and spent nearly seven years at Awasi's Santa Catarina property (formerly Ponta dos Ganchos) rising to General Manager. He served as President and Co-Founder of the Brazilian Luxury Travel Association (BLTA) and sat on the Board of Directors of Relais & Châteaux as Delegate for South America. A graduate of Harvard Business School's OPM program with certifications from Cornell University, Nicolas resides in Santa Barbara, California, leading Awasi’s conviction that time and space are the greatest of privileges . Learn more at awasiexperience.com .