Be The Wolf

Hosted by Genea Barnes

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Oct 2026

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Ready to stop hiding and playing small … and start living from the TRUTH of who you are? Be the Wolf is for high-achievers who are tired of sacrificing for the sake of others, business, and finances. They’ve done it “right” their whole life, and they’re still feeling stuck, exhausted, and unfulfilled. If you struggle with burnout, people-pleasing, imposter syndrome, chronic self-doubt, or feeling invisible even though you constantly over-deliver… this show is for you. What does it mean to ‘Be the Wolf?’ When Yellowstone Park removed the wolves to make the park "safe," the entire ecosystem collapsed. The wolves weren't the problem … they were essential. The same is true for you. When you hide parts of yourself to stay safe or be liked, the system of YOU gets out of balance, stays stuck in survival mode, and eventually collapses. Being the Wolf means operating from the wholeness of who you are … because that's when the ecosystem of YOU thrives. Host Genea Barnes explores what it means to stop performing for approval and start showing up as your full 100% REAL self. Not just the parts you think are acceptable. Through deep conversations about self-trust, relationships, worthiness, business, boundaries, money, reclaiming your voice, and learning to feel safe in your own skin, you'll discover how to expand your capacity for a life you actually want … without sacrificing joy, fulfillment, and the light of who you are. Topics include: Overcoming self-sabotage and breaking through plateaus Healing people-pleasing patterns and chronic over-functioning Trusting yourself when you've been gaslit or told your needs aren't real Moving from survival mode to feeling safe, embodied, and free to thrive Reclaiming creativity, visibility, and leadership after years of playing small Building relationships where you don't have to disappear to be loved and accepted Saying no, setting and holding boundaries without guilt or fear of rejection Releasing shame and learning you're not "too much" or "not enough" Saying yes to what you truly want without fear of repercussions This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about remembering who you are. Because when you stop trying to cram yourself into someone else's tiny box of who you should be, everything changes. Your work and business thrive. Your relationships deepen. Your body relaxes. You finally feel the peace, safety, and freedom you've been chasing. You weren't meant to hide … you weren’t meant to disappear. You were meant to live from the TRUTH of you. Be the Wolf. New episodes weekly. Real stories. Real transformation. Real freedom. ~ When you operate from the TRUTH of who you are, humanity evolves.~

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October 21, 2026Episode 18536 min

#185 The Most Important Technology You’ll Ever Master Is You

LA Tech Week had just wrapped, and Genea couldn’t stop thinking about technology. Not the newest AI tool. The one she says most people aren’t operating accurately ... the technology of you. Hers was downloaded early. Genea grew up with physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect, and her first rule to fit in, stay fed, and stay liked was to shrink. Later she got smarter and learned to fit a piece of what she wanted inside what her mom wanted. She ran that program into adulthood and straight into her business. If an idea didn’t fit someone else’s proven strategy, she didn’t try it. She downloaded tool after tool and kept finding out it wasn’t what she needed, because she didn’t know what she needed. The faulty part was never the tools. It was the technology running underneath them. This is what happens when the rules a kid downloads to stay safe keep running the show in an adult’s business. Once Genea refined hers, she signed up for an event that made no sense financially, time-wise, or by theme ... and was asked to speak on a panel there. Here’s what a refined technology of you looks like, and what a virus in it costs: 🔹 The one word that tells Genea a virus is running in her technology 🔹 The event that made no sense to attend, and what happened after she signed up 🔹 Why AI is about to make a lot of entrepreneurs sound exactly the way they always have 🔹 The rule Genea still catches running, even after her mom died Every tool you add will run on the technology of you. Whose rules is it running right now? About Genea Genea Barnes is a mentor, coach, and speaker whose early life was rooted in deep trauma and neglect. To stay safe, she learned to make everyone else feel good and put their needs first. It worked to survive, but it came with a cost. She lost her ability to discern what was truly right for her. And getting what she wanted came with the anxiety that it would be lost or taken away. She was great at making other people’s dreams come true, but when it came to what she truly wanted, she self-sabotaged and procrastinated … always putting something else first. She spent decades exploring and studying every modality under the sun to break free from those patterns and create a life that felt like joy, ease, and freedom. Today, she empowers people to move away from and resolve conflict rooted in trauma, generational trauma, and sacrifice of self … so they can create the life they crave and access greater peace and freedom in all areas of their life. This gives them access to loving, authentic relationships, consistent healthy habits, and success in business, finance, and career that feels like fulfilment and freedom. Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

October 14, 2026Episode 18444 min

#184 Speaking Up About Weinstein Meant Risking Everything. She Did It Anyway with Louisette Geiss

Louisette Geiss was sitting in her living room breastfeeding her baby when 60 Minutes wanted to talk to her about Harvey Weinstein. Back in 2008, she had walked out of his hotel room and turned down a three-picture deal rather than trade her body for it. Now the articles were out, and the people she had told over the years knew people. Gloria Allred agreed to represent her coming forward, but not if Weinstein countersued. Everything she and her husband had worked for was on the line. She looked at the baby in her hands and decided she would not let her grow up in a world where this man got to keep running around. Then came the people saying she did it for his money. In this episode, Genea names why most people never get this far. The threat is real, and it still isn't what keeps them quiet. Comfort is. We don't speak up because we're keeping other people comfortable, or because we're keeping ourselves comfortable. That choice feels safe in the moment, and over the years an entire life gets built around it. Louisette says it herself: she isn't always strong. She stood up anyway. She thought it would blow over in a week. It didn't: 🔹 What she checked on her way out of Weinstein's hotel room, and why 🔹 Who turned out to be paying some of the people trolling her 🔹 What a woman in her 80s was afraid people would find out if the musical did well 🔹 Why Louisette is turning what happened into a musical with Diane Warren, and who gets paid when it hits The cost of speaking up is real. So is the cost of a life built around staying quiet. About Louisette: Louisette Geiss is a Sales Vice President in the title insurance business, bringing more than 16 years of experience in the title and real estate industry, with a focus on luxury and complex real estate transactions throughout Los Angeles. Beyond her career in real estate, Louisette is a longtime advocate for women and children. She was one of the women who spoke publicly against Harvey Weinstein and later served as Chair of the Unsecured Creditors Committee in the Weinstein bankruptcy, advocating for survivors and helping fight for a resolution that provided compensation to dozens of women. Her commitment to advocacy extends to children and families. Louisette has served as a foster mother and has worked with Kidsave to help bring greater awareness to older children in foster care who are searching for permanent families. She was honored with Kidsave’s Inspirational Voices Award for her advocacy. A former actress, singer, producer, and entrepreneur, Louisette also co-created The Right Girl with Grammy and Academy Award-nominated songwriter Diane Warren. The musical was inspired by the experiences of women who found the courage to speak up. Across business, advocacy, and the arts, Louisette’s work centers on a common theme: using your voice, your relationships, and your experience to create meaningful change. Connect with Louisette: Facebook link: Louisette geiss Instagram handle: Louisettegeiss LinkedIn: Louisette Geiss YouTube: The Geiss Girls Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

October 7, 2026Episode 18340 min

#183 Why "I Have So Much to Give" Can Sit Inside You for Years Before Anyone Ever Hears It with Lihi Orbach

In middle school, Lihi Orbach Forney had a thought she never said out loud. "I have so much to give," she remembers thinking, "and I don't know how to do it, and nobody's getting me, and I don't know how the me that I know is in there can come out." She didn't get to test that thought for a long time. She spent the next twenty years as a sound engineer, mixing commercials and documentary films, executing someone else's vision one project at a time. She was good at it. People trusted her with it. The real reason that feeling sat unanswered for so long had nothing to do with finding the right idea. This is what happens when a kid learns early that being fully seen isn't safe: the capability stays intact, the career even gets built, and the person keeps finding work that lets them matter through someone else's name instead of their own. Here's what it actually took for that sentence to stop waiting: 🔹 The deal Lihi made with a friend before she'd designed a single piece, and what happened the moment she said yes 🔹 The podcast she spent six months building about something else entirely, before the idea that was actually hers ever showed up 🔹 What she says, in one sentence, when asked if there was ever a stretch of her childhood where she didn't shrink 🔹 The new thing she recently agreed to that she calls "absolutely terrifying," years after most people would already call her successful If you've spent years being excellent at everyone else's vision, how long has your own been waiting? About Lihi: I'm Lihi Orbach Forney, the founder/ designer of LoveLeeOr Jewelry. Every piece I design is intentional and purposeful - meant to create a focal point and connect you deeper to yourself. Think of it like a tattoo. It’s there to offer a reminder, an encouragement, something that helps you stay focused on what you want and resonates with your heart.I believe that thoughts create reality and i'm here to offer you a small tool on the journey to create yours. Connect with Lihi: Website loveleeor.com Facebook link https://www.facebook.com/loveleeor Instagram handle @loveleeor Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

September 30, 2026Episode 18244 min

#182 He Spent His Whole Life Feeling for Everyone in the Room Except Himself With Ali Taylor

Ali Taylor grew up able to predict a room before he ever walked into it. Wherever something was missing, he figured out how to be it. That's how he survived his house. It's also how he built his entire adult life. He's a business consultant now. He helps business owners build companies that don't depend on them for everything, so they can actually have a life outside of work. He's excellent at spotting what a business is missing and filling it … because he’s been doing that his whole life. But for most of his life, he had no idea what he needed. It took his mom dying, a new relationship, and a therapist with a feelings wheel to find out. When reading everyone else becomes the way you survive childhood, it becomes the operating system well into adulthood.. And, it often becomes a skill you get praised for. But it costs you the ability to feel what’s real for you.. Here's what he found once he stopped scanning the room and started scanning himself: 🔹 The exact question that sent him to therapy for the first time in his life 🔹 What his dad actually said to him, nine months before he passed 🔹 Why performing to be liked still feels like pressure, even when it works 🔹 What changed in his business once he stopped hiding inside it If you're the one everybody leans on for support because you always know just what they need, maybe it’s time for you to start focusing on what you’re really feeling and taking care of what you need. About Ali: Ali J. Taylor is a business consultant, TEDx speaker, and writer. Through his consulting practice, Wisdom+Wayfinder, he helps founders build a more valuable businessthat depends on them less using his Liberation LabTM framework. Before consulting, Ali spent over a decade running BelMarketing Design Studio, leading rebrands and marketing for major clients across accounting, insurance, and biotech. He's also co-host of Scaling Smarter (with Frank Maiorana) and writes about business, leadership, and the sharper edges of masculinity and relational dynamics on his Substack, In Pursuit of Clarity. Connect with Ali: Instagram handle https://instagram.com/alijtaylor317 LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/alijtaylor/ Appointment Link https://zcal.co/wisdomandwayfinder/be-the-wolf Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

September 23, 2026Episode 18137 min

#181 She Used to Need People to Believe Her. Her Father Told Her That Was Never the Job with Jennifer Shaffer

Jennifer is an intuitive who has worked cases for the FBI and law enforcement, including helping catch someone on the world's most wanted list for child trafficking. But for years, none of that credibility stopped her from needing something else. She needed people to believe her gift was real, not for the work, but just to confirm to herself she wasn't crazy. Her own father gave her the proof, without meaning to. She told him his arm hurt. He said it was fine. A month later, his defibrillator went off seven times while he was out on a run. At the hospital, he looked at her and said he'd known what she was telling him. He just hadn't wanted to believe it. Then he told her something that took her years to fully understand. It wasn't her job to make anybody believe anything. Give the information, and get out. This is what happens when someone spends more energy trying to be believed than actually doing the work in front of them. The proving becomes its own job, running quietly underneath the real one, until something forces the difference into plain view. If you've ever needed someone else to confirm what you already knew was true, this is usually why. Here's where it actually shows up in her story: 🔹 What Jennifer told her father that he flatly denied, a month before his own body proved her right 🔹 The exact instruction he gave her from his hospital bed that changed how she worked from then on 🔹 What she says she was really doing every time she tried to get someone to believe her 🔹 The kind of cases the FBI has called her in on, and what it took to trust herself enough to say yes She used to need people to believe her. Her father told her that was never the job. About Jennifer: ith a 10-year background as a high-level stockbroker, Jennifer Shaffer understands the drive, discipline, and focus required to excel in demanding industries. Her psychic and intuitive abilities have made her a sought-after advisor to Fortune 500 CEOs, professional athletes, Hollywood A-list celebrities, mental health professionals, entrepreneurs, and medical experts. Whether guiding business leaders through challenges, helping clients break through limiting beliefs, or providing mediumship connections to loved ones who have passed, Jennifer helps people gain deeper insight into their lives, challenges, and sense of purpose. Beyond her work with private clients, Jennifer is deeply involved in law enforcement and FBI investigations. She uses her intuitive abilities to assist with cases, including missing persons investigations, and provides insights to investigative teams. She also teaches and mentors professionals in the field, helping them develop their intuition and strengthen investigative techniques. Jennifer’s commitment to healing and transformation extends into her work as a medical intuitive. She collaborates with psychiatrists, psychotherapists, medical doctors, and grief counselors, combining intuitive insight with professional expertise. Her approach focuses on identifying energetic imbalances and emotional patterns that may be connected to an individual’s overall well-being. In addition to her intuitive and investigative work, Jennifer is a content creator, television consultant, and published author. She contributes to books exploring the intersection of intuition, law enforcement, and spiritual guidance. Her expertise and unique perspective have been featured across media outlets, podcasts, and television programs, reaching audiences worldwide. Whether working with elite professionals, families seeking closure, law enforcement teams, medical professionals, or media productions, Jennifer brings a heart-centered approach to every project. Her work bridges intuition, spirituality, investigative techniques, healing, and entertainment, allowing her to connect with people across a wide range of fields and circumstances. Connect with Jennifer: Website: https://jennifershaffer.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jennifermshaffer Connect with Genea: Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

September 16, 2026Episode 18038 min

#180 The Trauma Ended Years Ago, And It's Probably Still Running Your Decisions.

Genea was four years old the first time she learned that loving someone meant losing them. She was tied up and locked in a closet as a kid, and every time she fought her way free, the ropes came back tighter, until she stopped fighting altogether. She didn't stay stuck in that closet. She carried the rules she made in there into everything after. She stayed in a relationship until it felt like it was her life or theirs. She kept trying to save a boss who wasn’t paying her until the stress gave her shingles in her early thirties. She hired people to help her in business and then quietly sabotaged the help, because some part of her still believed nobody could actually be there for her. This is what happens when trauma doesn't just live in the memory of one event. It becomes the operating system underneath every decision that comes after it: who you trust, who you hire, what you tolerate, how long you stay. Most people never trace the current decision back to the original one, because the original one doesn't look anything like the situation it's still running. If your life keeps hitting the same wall no matter how many times you change the location, the job, or the relationship, this is usually why. A few of the places it showed up in hers: 🔹 What she subconsciously did every time she hired someone to help her in business 🔹 Why she stayed single for most of her adult life, even with people she really wanted 🔹 The real reason she couldn't ask a housemate to leave, even as they wrecked the whole house 🔹 What her body did after months of trying to save a boss who never once paid her It was never about the boss or the relationship. It was a decision from childhood, showing up everywhere at once. About Genea Genea Barnes is a mentor, coach, and speaker whose early life was rooted in deep trauma and neglect. To stay safe, she learned to make everyone else feel good and put their needs first. It worked to survive, but it came with a cost. She lost her ability to discern what was truly right for her. And getting what she wanted came with the anxiety that it would be lost or taken away. She was great at making other people’s dreams come true, but when it came to what she truly wanted, she self-sabotaged and procrastinated … always putting something else first. She spent decades exploring and studying every modality under the sun to break free from those patterns and create a life that felt like joy, ease, and freedom. Today, she empowers people to move away from and resolve conflict rooted in trauma, generational trauma, and sacrifice of self … so they can create the life they crave and access greater peace and freedom in all areas of their life. This gives them access to loving, authentic relationships, consistent healthy habits, and success in business, finance, and career that feels like fulfilment and freedom. Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

September 9, 2026Episode 17943 min

#179 He Learned Not To Feel to Survive … But it Cost Him Joy Too with Omar Figueroa

For seven years, Omar nursed his mother through a terminal illness, and he did it the only way he knew how. Compartmentalize. Keep going. Don't feel it. That was the rule he'd been raised on since he was a kid, machismo, you're a man, you don't feel, you don't do this, you don't do that. It worked. He got through it. What he didn't expect was that the same rule would still be running years later, long after there was anything left to survive. He noticed it at his own kids' graduation, a moment that should have brought him joy and instead brought him nothing at all. This is what happens when the tools that helped a person survive something real never get put down once the danger is gone. They don't know the difference between a funeral and a graduation. They just keep doing what they were built to do, which is keep everything out. If you've ever built the life you said you wanted and felt strangely disconnected from it once you got there, this is usually why. Here's where it shows up in his story: 🔹 What his mother did with a belt that taught him a lesson he never forgot 🔹 What happened in him, or didn't happen, the day his own kids graduated 🔹 Why a clip of him nearly breaking down on someone else's podcast got 7,000 views in one day 🔹 The line he uses now to explain why what once protected him started working against him He didn't lose his ability to feel joy. He traded it away to survive something else, and never traded it back. About Luis Omar: Luis Omar Figueroa is the founder of HGRN Lending and HGRN Real Estate, where he has personally funded nearly half a billion dollars in loans and sold tens of millions of dollars in property across New York. He’s not a figurehead — he’s an owner-operator who sits at the decision-making table and executes. Born and raised in the Bronx and educated at NYU, Luis blends institutional knowledge with street-earned instincts. He built his businesses on discipline, positioning, and relationships — not shortcuts. A marketing strategist by nature, he understands that attention is currency and leverage is everything. Luis doesn’t just close transactions — he builds infrastructure, develops people, and plays the long game. His focus is legacy, leadership, and performance at a high level — in business and in life. Connect with Luis Omar: Website askluisomar.com Facebook link https://www.facebook.com/askluisomarfigueroa/ Instagram handle: askluisomar Twitter: askluisomar LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/askluisomar Appointment Link https://motiapp.com/profile/askluisomar Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

September 2, 2026Episode 17844 min

#178 Doing All the 'Right' Things and Still Getting the 'Wrong' Life? Be the Wolf and the Pattern Breaks.

By the early 1900s, every wolf had been hunted out of Yellowstone National Park. Visitors kept coming. Old Faithful kept erupting right on schedule. Nobody visiting could tell that anything was missing. But something was. The elk overpopulated. The riverbanks eroded. The beavers left, then the birds left, and one piece at a time, the whole park became a shell of what it used to be, while it still looked exactly like Yellowstone the entire time. This is what happens to a life that looks fine from the outside while a keystone part of it has quietly gone missing. You can check every box and hit every goal and still be operating as a shell of what you actually are, because the part of you that got disappeared a long time ago never got reintroduced. If your life looks good on paper and still doesn't feel like the one you were made for, you already know this, even if you've never had language for it before. Here's what actually rebalanced Yellowstone, and what it explains about rebalancing a life: 🔹 Why Yellowstone looked completely normal to visitors while the whole ecosystem was collapsing underneath it 🔹 What happened the moment 41 wolves were reintroduced in the mid-90s, and how long it actually took the park to recover 🔹 The real reason some people get uncomfortable the moment you stop shrinking, and why it was never actually about you 🔹 What it actually means to bring your own keystone piece back into your life This is the foundation of everything this show teaches. If you've ever wondered what Being the Wolf really means, this is where it starts. About Genea Genea Barnes is a mentor, coach, and speaker whose early life was rooted in deep trauma and neglect. To stay safe, she learned to make everyone else feel good and put their needs first. It worked to survive, but it came with a cost. She lost her ability to discern what was truly right for her. And getting what she wanted came with the anxiety that it would be lost or taken away. She was great at making other people’s dreams come true, but when it came to what she truly wanted, she self-sabotaged and procrastinated … always putting something else first. She spent decades exploring and studying every modality under the sun to break free from those patterns and create a life that felt like joy, ease, and freedom. Today, she empowers people to move away from and resolve conflict rooted in trauma, generational trauma, and sacrifice of self … so they can create the life they crave and access greater peace and freedom in all areas of their life. This gives them access to loving, authentic relationships, consistent healthy habits, and success in business, finance, and career that feels like fulfilment and freedom. Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

August 26, 2026Episode 17744 min

#177 The Problem Isn't That She Couldn’t Set Boundaries. She Just Kept Letting Other People Set Them with Alicia Ybarra.

Alicia's boss made her print out every financial document she had, every week, so he could go through it and highlight what she wasn't allowed to spend. She was engaged to his son at the time. He told her she didn't need a raise, because once she was married and having babies, she wouldn't need one. She let him set that line. Just like she let her martial arts instructor set the line at thirteen, when he decided she was his to groom. Just like she let a grandmaster set the line on her clothes, her classes, and her worth to his business. The first time in years she tried to draw a line of her own, it wasn't even her boyfriend who ended things. It was his mother, at a Denny's. This is what happens when a person learns early that their own line doesn't count, that the people with power over them are the ones who get to decide where it goes. It's not that the boundary never existed. It's that she stopped being the one who got to set it, over and over, until letting other people decide became the default. Here's where that pattern kept showing up, long after she thought she'd already survived the worst of it: 🔹 What her boss printed out and highlighted every single week, and why she let him 🔹 The exact words a grandmaster used to tell her what she was actually worth to his business 🔹 Who ended things for her the first time in years she tried to stand up for herself 🔹 Why she believed an abusive boyfriend when he told her it was her fault he hit her She didn't lack boundaries. She'd just spent her whole life letting other people set them for her. About Elicia: Elicia is a lifelong martial artist, dedicated women’s self-defense instructor, and passionate advocate for empowering women to live confidently and fearlessly. With over three decades of martial arts experience, including a 4th Dan Black Belt in Taekwondo and a 1st Dan Black Belt in Hapkido, Elicia has transformed her personal journey of resilience into a mission to uplift others. As the founder of Pretty Hands, Hard Punches, Elicia uses her own experiences overcoming abuse and exploitation within the martial arts industry to teach women practical self-defense techniques, boundary-setting, and how to recognize and stand against abuse. Her unique approach combines technical skill, emotional intelligence, and empowerment to help women build physical and mental strength. Connect with Elicia: Website: www.prettyhandshardpunches.com Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/prettyhandshardpunches Instagram handle: https://www.instagram.com/prettyhandshardpunches/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/prettyhandshardpunches/ Promotional Link: https://www.prettyhandshardpunches.com/product-page/boundaries-bravery-self-defense-strategies-for-women-Everywhere Free Gift Link: https://www.prettyhandshardpunches.com/product-page/creating-the-ideal-you Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

August 19, 2026Episode 17639 min

#176 You're Not Being Realistic. You're Just Playing Small and Calling it Wisdom

Genea's first art show was a one-night group show in a bar. She remembers standing in that room like she was on fire from the inside, what she still calls "anxiety on fire," pacing while people looked at the pieces she'd made, too scared to say a word back when someone told her they liked her work. She only talked to the people she already knew were safe. Everyone else, she shrank into the corner and watched. This is what happens when a person learns, long before they have words for it, that taking up space comes with a price. The body doesn't wait for permission. It decides, before you ever open your mouth, that shrinking is safer than being seen, even when being seen was the entire point of what you built. If you've ever built something you're proud of and gone quiet the second someone actually looked at it, you already know this pattern from the inside. It changes. Not by trying to be braver in the room, but by teaching your nervous system, at the muscle level, that it's finally safe to take up the space you were always built to take. Here's what was actually happening every time she went quiet in that corner: 🔹 Why the fear that kept her frozen in that bar showroom shows up everywhere she tries to grow 🔹 What her body was actually reacting to every time someone told her to "network more" 🔹 What years of photographing ghost bikes and roadkill were really about, and what she didn't understand until later 🔹 The exact moment taking up space stopped being optional for her Your life will only ever be as big as the amount of you you're willing to let take up space in it. About Genea Genea Barnes is a mentor, coach, and speaker whose early life was rooted in deep trauma and neglect. To stay safe, she learned to make everyone else feel good and put their needs first. It worked to survive, but it came with a cost. She lost her ability to discern what was truly right for her. And getting what she wanted came with the anxiety that it would be lost or taken away. She was great at making other people’s dreams come true, but when it came to what she truly wanted, she self-sabotaged and procrastinated … always putting something else first. She spent decades exploring and studying every modality under the sun to break free from those patterns and create a life that felt like joy, ease, and freedom. Today, she empowers people to move away from and resolve conflict rooted in trauma, generational trauma, and sacrifice of self … so they can create the life they crave and access greater peace and freedom in all areas of their life. This gives them access to loving, authentic relationships, consistent healthy habits, and success in business, finance, and career that feels like fulfilment and freedom. Connect with Genea Weekly Be the Wolf Call (no cost) – Wednesdays, 7:00 AM PST / 10:00 AM EST https://be-the-wolf.kit.com/freedom Register & learn more about Be the Wolf In-Person Events https://bethewolfnow.com/events Website https://bethewolfnow.com Instagram https://www.instagram.com/geneabarnes/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/bethewolfnow LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/genea-barnes TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@geneabarnes

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