You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

Hosted by Dani Tan - Leadership Coach and Speaker

Business Careers

Website RSS feed

Episodes

161

Latest episode

Oct 2026

Language

EN-US

About the show

I'm Dani Tan, Founder and leadership coach of She Belongs Here™, a leadership and culture organization for women ready to get promoted, lead on their own terms, and redefine what leadership looks like. I coach high-achieving women through the strategy, visibility, and positioning moves that actually move the needle, and I work with organizations building cultures where their best talent can lead. Former VP, first-gen, 11 promotions in 11 years, I've lived this work before I built it. Learn more about me and my mission at danitan.com

Listen to episodes

60 recent

October 22, 2026Episode 14611 min

146. How to Ask for a Raise When You’ve Taken on More Responsibility

In episode 146, we're talking about how to ask for a raise when you've taken on more responsibility.You raised your hand for growth, stretch projects, and a bigger scope, and your pay is ready to catch up with the work you're already doing. This episode shows you how to build your case with numbers and plan the conversation.In this conversation, I break down how scope grows quietly, why most companies tie pay to level, how to build your case from your job description, your review goals, the market, and the role above you, and why this is a series of conversations. I also share a reveal: my new 8-week cohort, Get Promoted Before Review Season, which opens for enrollment today. In this episode, I cover: → Why more responsibility doesn't automatically mean more pay → How pay is tied to your level in most companies → How to list the work outside your scope and measure it in hours → How to compare your work to the role above you and to the market → How to plan timing, who approves, and how to present it → Why asking for a raise takes multiple touch points → The new cohort: Get Promoted Before Review Season Key Takeaways: – Scope can grow quietly while pay stays the same. – Start with the job you were hired for, then list everything outside it. – Measure that outside work in hours and dollars, using the market and the role above you as benchmarks. – Frame the ask around how it makes sense for the business and your manager. – Plan for several conversations, and let the answers show you your true options. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome and a new way to work together 01:24 Why more responsibility doesn't mean more pay 02:49 Pay is tied to your level 03:13 Build your case: job description, reviews, outside scope 04:08 Look at the role above you and the market 05:46 Having the conversation 07:11 It's never a one-and-done ask 07:37 Recap 08:04 The new cohort: Get Promoted Before Review Season0 8:31 Free live training, Wednesday, October 28 08:55 Who the cohort is for and what we cover 10:07 Enrollment details and early bonus 11:03 Questions and wrap-up Learn more and stay connected: Get Promoted Before Review Season: https://danitan.com/promotion-cohort/ Free live training, Wednesday, October 28: https://danitan.com/promotion-training www.danitan.com www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan Get Promoted Before Review Season: 8 live Thursday sessions, November 19, 2026 to January 28, 2027, 11:30 a.m. CT / 12:30 p.m. ET. No sessions Nov 26, Dec 24, or Dec 31. Enrollment closes Tuesday, November 17. $987, or 2 payments of $518. Early bonus: submit the interest form by Friday, October 30 and enroll within 48 hours of my reply, and you get a free 45-minute private session with me. Details and the interest form: https://danitan.com/promotion-cohort/⁠ Free live training, Wednesday, October 28 at 12 p.m. CT / 1 p.m. ET: https://danitan.com/promotion-training⁠ Questions? Text the word COHORT to 833-966-4974. Once you get the reply, send your questions. You can also DM me on Instagram @danitani.

October 15, 2026Episode 14528 min

145. Should You Turn Down a Promotion? A Client’s Story

In episode 145, we’re talking about whether you should turn down a promotion, told through my client Steph’s story. If you’re greenlit, or close, and a quiet voice is asking “is this what I actually want?”, this one is for you. Steph was set for her promotion, and what she found out along the way changed her next step. In this conversation, Steph shares how she tested the decision, what it felt like to question everything she’d been taught, and how she made her choice with confidence. In this episode, we cover: → Being greenlit for a promotion and still asking what you want → The questions that helped Steph decide, including her values and her ideal day → How to ask your manager the hard questions, and what a “false yes” is → Planning the exit: transition plan, boundaries, and a sabbatical plan → Why a promotion creates options instead of a finish line Key Takeaways: – A promotion creates options, and the goal is to build a life you want. – Your goals can change in coaching, and that is the work doing its job. – A “yes” from your manager can be a false yes, so keep asking until the picture is complete. – Plans create safety in a new path. – The skills compound after coaching ends. Chapters (raw recording times, re-time after your edit): 01:47 Meet Steph 02:06 Why she hired a coach 04:52 How her goals changed 06:11 “I don’t want this promotion” 09:55 Asking your manager the hard questions 13:02 The moment she knew 15:28 Making a scary decision with confidence 19:43 The plans: transition and sabbatical 21:30 Why coaching is an investment 26:41 Skills that compound How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

October 8, 2026Episode 14415 min

144. Skip-Level Meetings: The Promotion Move You Think Is a Waste of Time

In episode 144, we're talking about skip-level meetings, the promotion move you probably think is a waste of time.This one is for you if you're delivering great work and a little voice keeps asking, "What if I'm wasting their time?" I'm sharing what that voice sounded like for me at every title I held, what happened when I finally showed up to my skip-level meetings, and why those 20 to 30 minutes ended up helping both of us.In this conversation, I break down the inner narratives that keep you out of the room and what your skip-level is actually looking for.In this episode, I cover:→ The thoughts that talk us out of skip-level meetings, and where they come from→ Why skip-level meetings are a known dance, and why they help your skip-level too→ How a 20 to 30 minute meeting every other month led to my weekly recaps being forwarded to the senior team→ What skipping these meetings costs in time, visibility, and promotion cycles→ How to break the pattern when an inner voice keeps stopping you before you startKey Takeaways:– Skip-level leaders are responsible for developing talent, so they expect this conversation– Your skip-level may not have your work fresh and top of mind, even when your manager shares updates– The work that feels ordinary to you can be exciting to someone farther from the ground floor– A short recap email after the meeting puts your work in front of more people– Skipping a meeting that happens every other month costs you months, and sometimes a promotion cycleChapters:00:01 Welcome + what we're talking about today02:08 The thoughts that keep you out of the room04:31 The dance: what your skip-level expects from this meeting06:56 My skip-level story and the recap email09:20 What skipping these meetings costs you11:43 The inner voice and how to break the pattern14:03 Why brilliant, ambitious women get stuck, and how coaching helps How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

October 1, 2026Episode 14311 min

143. Your Promotion Is Already Being Decided, Here's What to Do About It

In episode 143, we're talking about why your promotion decision happens months before your review, not during it. This one's for you if you're executing, delivering, doing the work, and still watching the title and the pay stay stuck. I'm breaking down the real timeline behind promotion decisions, the one bias working against you without you knowing it, and the exact first moves to make right now before performance cycle season hits. In this conversation, I break down why waiting for review week is already too late, and what to do instead. In this episode, I cover: → Why the promotion decision is made months before your official review conversation → How recency bias quietly works against even your best quarters → Why one single champion (just your manager) is never enough, and what I call the "leadership ecosystem" → How to start building your business case today, not the week before your review Key Takeaways: – Promotion decisions are made long before the performance review conversation happens – Recency bias means your manager won't remember your February wins by October – You need more than one person vouching for you across your organization – Waiting until review week to build your case means you've already waited too long Chapters: 00:00 Welcome + who this episode is for 01:07 Your promotion is already being decided 02:18 The real timeline: why cycles start months earlier than you think 03:23 Recency bias and why nobody remembers your February wins 05:33 The leadership ecosystem: why one champion isn't enough 06:47 Two client wins: new offers, new titles, in one week 09:07 Why this isn't common knowledge, and why it's not about hustle 10:07 Start now: build your business case before cycle season How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

September 24, 2026Episode 14228 min

142. Do It Scared: Betting On Yourself with Stacey

In episode 142, we're talking about what happens when you stop waiting for permission and start trusting your gut, even when you're scared. This episode is for the first-gen high performer who has been playing it safe in rooms she's already earned a place in, and is ready to see what's possible when she bets on herself. My client is Stacey, a corporate professional and the owner of Sip N' Slay, and her story is proof you don't have to choose between showing up fully at work and building something of your own. In this conversation, I break down how Stacey went from staying private and playing small to landing a feature on WGN News and getting into Matcha Fest Chicago in her drinks business's first year, all while doing the work in corporate at the same time. In this episode, I cover: → What actually led Stacey to invest in coaching as a first-gen eldest daughter → The difference between corporate's individualistic culture and the collective "we" she grew up with, and how she learned to flex between them → Why nobody knows your wins if you don't share them → How Sip N' Slay started at a farmers market with her niece and nephew → What it looked like to say yes to visibility before she felt ready Key Takeaways: – Your own experience already makes you an expert, you don't have to be the loudest person in the room to have influence – Confidence isn't waiting for someone else's green light, it's trusting your own gut – You can hold both: excelling in your corporate role and building something creative on the side, for the joy of it – Rejection is part of putting yourself out there, and you put yourself out there anyway Chapters: 00:00 Intro 00:58 Meet Stacey 02:28 What led her to coaching 04:52 The tipping point to invest in herself 07:23 Confidence as the real goal 09:09 Individualistic vs. collective culture at work 10:57 Trusting her gut over waiting for a green light 13:06 The shift to being visible 16:21 How Sip N' Slay started 19:18 Holding corporate excellence and a creative business at once 20:35 WGN news, Matcha Fest, and betting on herself 23:47 What's different about Stacey now 25:49 Her advice: do it scared How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

September 17, 2026Episode 14111 min

141. How to Start a Business While Working Full Time (Without Quitting Your 9 to 5)

In episode 141, we're talking about how to start a business while working full time, without quitting your 9 to 5. This one is for you if you've been carrying a business idea and a job you're proud of at the same time. You've built skills, you've earned your position, and there's still an itch to build something of your own. Both can be true, and this episode shows you how to honor both. In this conversation, I break down the black-and-white thinking that keeps so many of us from starting, where the guilt actually comes from, especially for first-gen professionals, and the one-hour exercise that turns "someday" into a starting point. In this episode, I cover: → The "just go all in" advice and why it sparks financial scarcity instead of action → The extremes we attach to building something: escape, ingratitude, or all-or-nothing → First-gen conditioning: why the "good job, 401k, don't veer" script made sense for a prior generation and how to honor it while writing your own → How I built my business alongside my 9 to 5 for two years before stepping out → The one-hour exercise: what would you build, who would you help, and what do people already come to you for → Portfolio careers and why you're allowed to be great at more than one thing Key Takeaways: – You can love your job and want to build something for yourself. Both can be true. – Wanting more means you're evolving and growing, and the itch means you're someone who builds. – The same drive that made you great at your job is the drive that will build your business. – Nothing about your job has to change for you to start. Give the idea one hour and write it down. – Building alongside your paycheck creates the runway to step out without risking everything. Chapters: 00:01 Welcome + my story: 11 promotions, 5 pivots, and leaving it all to build this 02:17 The "go all in" advice and the extremes that keep us stuck 04:43 First-gen conditioning and the guilt of wanting more 07:04 Wanting more means you're evolving: legacy, family, community 09:24 The one-hour exercise + the renaissance woman era 11:47 An era of opportunity: start before the year ends How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

September 10, 2026Episode 1409 min

140. What a Promotion Actually Buys You: Money, Leverage, and Options

In episode 140, we're talking about what a promotion actually buys you, and why "I'll just wait for my company to promote me" is costing you more than you think. This one is for the woman telling herself she'll just wait for them to notice. I break down the real math behind that decision, and why a single raise you don't ask for doesn't just affect this year, it compounds for the rest of your career. In this conversation, I walk through what a promotion really buys you (it's not the title), the math on a delayed raise, and how one client turned a promotion into an $18,000 runway to leave corporate and build her own consulting business. In this episode, I cover: → Why a promotion is a tool, not the end goal → The math behind waiting to ask for more → How one client used her promotion to fund her exit into consulting → Why money and financial safety are not shallow reasons to want more Key Takeaways: – A raise isn't a one-time bump, it's a new base that compounds through every job after it – "I'll just wait for them to promote me" is the most expensive plan you can run – Promotions can fund the life you actually want, not just the title on your LinkedIn Chapters: 0:54 What a promotion actually buys you 2:19 The math on waiting 4:16 Client story: the $18,000 consulting runway 7:27 Promotions as freedom, not just status 9:37 Book a discovery call How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

September 3, 2026Episode 13928 min

139. It Would've Taken Me 5 Years" | Liz on Unstalling Her Promotion and DMing CEOs

In episode 139, we're talking about what actually unsticks a stalled promotion, told by my client Liz, in her own words. You've probably had a season where you knew you could figure it out yourself, eventually. Liz had one too. This episode is for every woman doing great work in a role with no playbook, no benchmarks, and no clear next level. In this conversation, Liz shares her pivot from physical therapist to health tech, how we mapped her workplace ecosystem to unstall a promotion that had been stuck for months, and how she went from nervous to cold-DM anyone to conversations with 20+ CEOs. In this episode, I cover: → Why non-traditional backgrounds need a map, not more effort → Mapping the people who actually influence your promotion → Building a network you can leverage without cold applying → The permission piece of coaching nobody talks about Key Takeaways: – Your manager can be great and still not be enough, you need champions beyond her – The relationships have to exist before the promotion conversation happens – CEOs are just people, and reaching out is a skill you can practice – You could figure it all out alone, the question is whether you want it to take five years Chapters: 0:00 Welcome + who this is for 1:12 Liz's pivot: physical therapist to health tech 3:29 The moment she decided to get support 5:50 How she chose a coach 8:37 The promotion that stalled for months 12:37 Mapping her workplace ecosystem 15:38 What came after the promotion 20:24 From nervous to DM to 20+ CEO conversations 25:18 "It might have taken me five years" 26:51 Liz's advice if you're on the fence How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

August 27, 2026Episode 1387 min

138. I'm Tired of Being Grateful Just to Have a Job

In episode 138, we're talking about the gratitude narrative that's been quietly costing you your paycheck, your title, and your peace. If you were raised to believe that having a job at all is something to be grateful for, full stop, this episode is for you. That belief kept generations before you safe. It might also be the reason you're doing a job above your title for free right now. In this conversation, I break down where that gratitude narrative comes from, what it actually costs you when you stay stuck in it, and why gratitude and ambition were never supposed to be opposites. In this episode, I cover: → Where the "just be grateful to have a job" wisdom comes from, and why it isn't wrong, just incomplete → What "gratitude priced labor" looks like: the interim role that never converts, the stipend instead of the raise, the promotion that keeps getting delayed → A real client story of the moment gratitude turned into resentment, and what changed the second she said "I want more" out loud Key Takeaways: – Gratitude and ambition are not opposites. You can deeply value what you have and still require the title and pay that match your work. – If you're being paid in "thank yous" instead of your market rate, that's a pattern worth naming, not a character flaw. – The market being hard is a reason to get strategic, not a reason to stay silent. – Review cycles are where decisions get announced, not where they get made. – Say it out loud: I am grateful, and I want more. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome & About the Podcast 01:02 The Client Quote That Started This Episode 01:43 Where the Gratitude Narrative Comes From 02:11 Gratitude Priced Labor: What It Actually Costs You 03:30 A Client Story: When Gratitude Turns Into Resentment 04:52 Gratitude and Ambition Are Not Opposites 06:08 Reframing "The Market Is Bad" and "I'll Wait for Review" 06:52 The Exercise: Say It Out Loud How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter

August 20, 2026Episode 13714 min

137. Can't I Just Do This on My Own? What DIY Actually Costs You

In episode 137, I'm doing the actual math on what "I'll just figure it out myself" is costing you, in real dollars, not just time. This one is for the woman weighing whether to get support or keep trying to DIY her way to the next level. If you've been telling yourself that hiring help is the less responsible choice, I want you to hear the numbers before you decide. In this conversation, I walk through what DIY actually looks like in practice, why it works for some things and reliably fails for others, and the real financial delta of waiting one more year to get support. In this episode, I cover: → The actual dollar cost of waiting one more year to figure it out alone → Why DIY frequently isn't responsibility, it's fear wearing a costume → When DIY works and when it fails → Why information was never the problem, execution under pressure was → Why the higher you go, the less anyone does it completely alone Key Takeaways: – One year of "figuring it out" can cost you the equivalent of a full salary increase, and it compounds. – DIY works for low-stakes, mechanical skills. It fails anywhere you have to be strategic about yourself while afraid. – Every executive you admire has had help. Asking for support is not a remedial path. Chapters: 0:00 Who Dani is and who this episode is for 0:54 Can't I just do this on my own? 1:52 Pattern recognition across clients 2:21 The real math: what one year of "figuring it out" costs 3:17 DIY as fear wearing a responsibility costume 3:44 What DIY actually looks like in practice 6:25 The common thread: information wasn't the problem 7:19 When DIY works and when it fails 8:43 Asking for help is not a remedial path 9:59 The higher you go, the less anyone does it alone 10:53 What got you here won't get you there 11:51 The real cost comparison: coaching vs. waiting 12:57 This week's action item 14:40 Book a discovery call How to work together - book a call or DM with questions on IG or LI. Book a Discovery Call ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to learn what it's like to work together Connect and DM on LinkedIn: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.linkedin.com/in/dani-tan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect and DM on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/danitani/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ My site: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.danitan.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join my weekly newsletter