They Never Knew You — They Knew What You Could Do for Them
How many people in your life actually know you—and how many just know what you provide?Your money. Your advice. Your connections. Your ability to fix shit. Your willingness to listen. Your opportunities. Your generosity. Your time.In this episode of A Stogie for the Road, I go after a side of friendship nobody wants to examine: the invisible economy between people. We keep receipts for money, but there's no fucking accounting system for the years somebody spends absorbing another person's problems, financing their experiences, opening doors, providing professional advice, or becoming their permanent emotional emergency department.And there's an uncomfortable second half to this conversation: users need rescuers.Sometimes being needed feels so much like being loved that capable, generous people unknowingly build an identity around being everybody's fixer. Then they wonder why their lives are filled with people who always need fixing.We get into envy, resentment, why success changes old friendships, why longevity doesn't equal loyalty, and why some people become uncomfortable the moment you grow beyond the role they assigned you.The real test of friendship isn't only who stays when you're struggling.It's who can tolerate you becoming somebody they no longer have leverage over.And maybe the hardest question of all:If you stopped being the counselor, the financier, the fixer, the connection, the rescuer, and the person who always says yes...what relationship would actually be left?Light one up.This one might make you rethink who's sitting at your table.
