
85: How to Get Out of the Doghouse & Repair Your Relationship
Is "The Doghouse" a concept that shows up in your relationship? You know...when something feels off with your partner, but you can't quite figure out what you did wrong? And you get frozen out.In this episode, I'm looking at what the doghouse really is and why it's such a common phenomenon. It could be the result of a serious mistake, or maybe it's a collection of small things like missed requests, forgotten promises, unmet expectations, and attempts to connect that didn't get much of a response.I'll also tell you about one of my VIP clients, Bill, who was completely frustrated by how often he seemed to land in the doghouse. Once we figured out what was actually happening, the solution became a lot clearer.Part 1: How You End Up in the DoghouseTo you, the doghouse often feels like it's come out of nowhere. Your partner can draw a straight line of events leading up to it.Part 2: The Little Things Aren't Always So LittleMy client, Bill thought he should get a pass on some of the small stuff because he was working 12- and 14-hour days. His wife experienced those same things very differently.Part 3: Five Strategies to Retire the Doghouse for GoodWhat you can do when you're already in it, and how to deal with expectations, promises, frustrations, and requests before resentment starts building again.Key Takeaways:Good intentions don't always create the impact you intended.People think they get into the doghouse because they do something wrong, but more often it's something we *don't* do. Forgetting important things, failing to follow through on promises, repeatedly ignoring your partner's bids for connection. The doghouse is not usually the first thing your partner turns to. They've likely tried several times to get you to pay attention before finally giving up and pulling away.A regular planning session can help both of you get expectations and requests out in the open before they turn into bigger problems.Call to Action:Think about something your partner has asked for recently that you haven't gotten around to yet.Maybe it's important. Maybe it seems ridiculously small.Either way, if you said you were going to do it, go do it.And if you keep finding yourself in the doghouse without knowing how you got there, it may be time for a bigger conversation about how the two of you handle disappointment and frustration.Closing Thoughts:I'd love to see couples retire the doghouse altogether.You shouldn't have to guess what's wrong, and your partner shouldn't have to keep asking for the same thing until they finally give up.Pay attention. Follow through. Clear things up when something goes wrong. Those are pretty basic skills, but they can make a big difference in how connected you feel to each other.Support & Resources:Ellen invites listeners to share their thoughts, either in the P3 Insider's Community or directly with her via email. Or, for one on one brainstorming on a specific situation, listeners can set up a time on Ellen's Calendar for a free Relationship Reset Call.For immediate insights, take the Relationship Dynamics Scorecard: A fast free quiz to pinpoint relationship strengths and stressors, and identify priorities that need your attention.find it at: MakeMoreLove.show/quizAll links can be found below.Share the Love:If you found this episode helpful, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might benefit.Leave a Review for Make More Love:https://www.makemorelove.show/reviews/new/About the Host:Ellen Dorian is a relationship and business coach dedicated to helping high-performing business leaders truly create the business, relationship, and life that most entrepreneurs only dream of.Disclaimer:The Make More Love show is for information and entertainment purposes only, and reflects the personal opinions and experiences of the host and guests. It is not a substitute for professional advice or guidance in specific situations."Love isn't something you find. You have to make it. And that's my mission-- to help you Make More Love, with Your Wife and In Your Life.'" - Ellen DorianMake More Love Show Website: www.makemorelove.showParent Company - The Passionate Partners Project: www.passionatepartnersproject.comJoin Our Passionate Partners Insider Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/682764239165105Contact Me Directly: Email: ellen@passionatepartnersproject.comOr direct message me via social media:Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellen.dorian.7/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ellendorian/Take the free Relationship Dynamics Quiz: http://makemorelove.show/quizSet up a Free Relationship Reset Call with me:http://relationshipresetcall.com














