EP214: I Was So Busy Making Everyone Else Comfortable, I Forgot How to Be Myself with JoJo Kearney
How much of yourself have you changed just to make other people comfortable? Your opinions. Your personality. Your energy. Even the way you dress. And at what point do you stop noticing you're doing it? That's exactly what Jojo and I got into during this conversation. And it all comes to life in one extraordinary moment involving a pink fur coat, a staircase and a retreat in Greece. Picture this. Jojo is hosting her own retreat. She's wearing a pink iridescent bikini, a fluffy pink coat, a sequin skirt and heels. Lizzo is playing. She's about to make her entrance and welcome everybody into this incredible experience she's created. Then she looks down from the balcony. Almost everybody else is wearing hoodies and shorts. And in that moment, the woman who was ready to own the room suddenly wants to shrink. "I shrank. I went straight back into a box." And I think SO many of us will recognise ourselves in that moment. Because how often do we walk into a room feeling absolutely fine about who we are, until we see what everybody else is doing? Jojo has spent much of her life being told she's too much. Too loud. Too expressive. Too dramatic. Too visible. And somewhere along the way, she started believing it. She describes how she would literally change her temperature to match the room . I bloody love that description because you immediately understand what she means. A little quieter here. A little less expressive there. A little less yourself because you're worried about how somebody else might respond. Until eventually, you start losing touch with the very things that make you who you are. But here's where our conversation gets really interesting. What if the problem isn't that other people think you're too much? What if it's that you've become uncomfortable with the feeling of being too much? And how do you learn to stay yourself when every instinct is telling you to shrink? We talk about what happens when you've spent years adjusting yourself to everybody else's comfort, why being accepted by everyone isn't necessarily a good thing, and what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself in the moments that matter. We also get into social media, success, the ridiculous pressure to constantly perform, and how easily we can start measuring our worth by numbers on a screen. And towards the end, I ask Jojo what she wishes more women would give themselves permission to do. Her answer? "Lean back." Not another strategy. Not another thing to achieve. Just permission to stop trying so hard to be everything everybody else needs. IN THIS EPISODE Why JoJo spent years believing she was too much The unforgettable moment at her retreat when she realised she was shrinking herself How we unconsciously change our personalities to match the people around us The difference between being too much for other people and feeling uncomfortable being fully yourself Why constantly making other people comfortable can mean abandoning yourself How JoJo is learning to stay true to herself when she feels judged or out of place What happens when you stop measuring your success and self-worth by social media metrics Why you don't always need another content hook sometimes you are the hook What it means to stop pushing, stop performing and give yourself permission to lean back Here's something I'd love you to think about while you listen: Where in your life are you changing your temperature to make everybody else comfortable? Because you might never find yourself at the top of a staircase in Greece wearing a fluffy pink coat. But I reckon most of us have experienced a moment when we've looked around a room and decided to become a little bit less ourselves. And maybe it's time we questioned that. COME AND FIND ME ON INSTAGRAM If you loved this conversation, come and join me on Instagram at @emmagibbsng . It's where I share the moments from these conversations that I can't stop thinking about, the questions I wish more people would ask, what I'm noticing after years of interviewing fascinating humans, and the stories I'm currently following. Follow me at @emmagibbsng Follow JoJo @thrivewithjojo COME AND SIT IN THE HOT SEAT 🎬 Hot Seat is my filmed interview experience for people with a story, a body of work, a public image or simply far more to them than the version people already know. Because there's a difference between telling your story and being properly interviewed about it. I research. I listen. I notice the detail you almost skipped over. I follow the answer you weren't expecting to give. And together, we find the stories, contradictions and parts of you that people can't simply Google. The result is a beautifully produced filmed conversation that lets people meet the person behind the image, the work and the version of your story they've heard before. If you've ever thought: There's more to my story than people know. Come and sit with me. HOT SEAT with Emma Gibbs-Ng DM me HOT SEAT on Instagram at @emmagibbsng to start the conversation or click HERE for more deets
