Konnected Minds Podcast with Derrick Abaitey

Segment: Education Only Made You Broken, Not Confident

What if the biggest difference between people who build wealth in Africa and those who spend their lives searching for opportunities abroad isn't how much money they can raise or how many degrees they have, but understanding that your mental programming determines everything you see and everything you miss, that a people who cannot accept their own names their own skin their own language will always struggle to see value in their own land, and that the young man who raised over $10,000 to become a second class citizen changing diapers for four months straight in a foreign country could have used that same money to build something generational right here where 30 million people wake up every morning exchanging money from the trotro driver to the pharmacist while opportunities announce themselves through every closed provision shop and every roadside yam seller? In this powerful and unfiltered conversation on Konnected Minds, we sit down with someone who reveals why we are only reflecting our thinking anyway and even the chair you chose and the decor you see is based on your mental processes and the training you have had, why our most critical duty as a people is to change the software because you can give people millions but if they don't know what to do they will destroy it, why pouring money into people with wrong mental processes is like pouring water in a leaky basket, and why the duty as an African as a young man is to make sure you don't grow or continue this wrong thinking because we were born into an environment where the thinking makes you so likely to have wrong thinking. He breaks down why even through our universities when you watch our TV even from the pulpit sometimes when our leaders are talking on TV you know that this information will make people poor, why if you don't give yourself different information then you become just like them, why Africa's problem is that one where a people cannot have right self image so everything else you present will be wrong, and why which people talk so negatively about themselves and are trying to look or become like any other people besides themselves and hardly accept who they are. But he also confronts the brutal reality of our conditioning. Why look at our names look at our skin color even our language we fight it, why other people are so ready to sell to us because they know that we are ready to buy from them more than from ourselves, why the African who succeeds here will be an African who has worked on self image at a certain level and is proud, why if you take that success from that person they will still be able to build it because those Africans are very different the software is different the primary process data is different, and why they are consistent in their language consistent in their action because they have given themselves different kind of education. He reveals why if you don't have that kind of education the default setting will work where you wait for the government you wait for God you're looking for visa you're waiting for somebody to give you funding you're looking for political connection, why visa is something that fascinates you and if you marry a white girl it means you're blessed and you worship white Jesus and wearing a suit means you are civilized, why there are so many of our people here who are doing well who you can still trick, and why these things persist because we were born into it. But he also shares the sophisticated understanding of how identity is destroyed from childhood. Why once you get to primary one they start to teach you English but you were speaking your mother's language so why would you not continue with that and what was wrong with your language, why you go to school and they have to add another English name when there was nothing wrong with your original name, why if you put somebody through these processes and they grow up it's easy for them to lose their identity, and why when they bring the contract that says sign the gold for them it will not be difficult because already you are broken. He explains why anytime you watch our TV and see any investor do they look like you, why the young man is just reflecting the programming, why if you want to deal with that you must give yourself different kind of education not the one they are giving you in school, why if that education were enough you would not be less self confident but education is supposed to make you see yourself like I can do it no matter what wherever I am, and why that's what it means to become who you are wherever you are. But he also confronts the tragedy of Africans who cannot see what they have. Why in your village if you're properly trained you will see opportunities and will never see that there's nothing in this village, why you look around and there's big land and you still can't see opportunity until some Chinese man comes and builds a business that employs you and gives you a thousand and you're very happy even though...

Top 5 High-Income Skills Every African Youth Must Learn to Make Money Online in 2027

How can you make money online in Africa? And do you really need a university degree to build a successful career? On this episode of Konnected Minds Podcast, Derrick Abaitey sits down with Nigerian entrepreneur and digital skills educator Uzoma Oranebo to discuss his journey from earning ₦15,000 a month at Yaba Market to making his first million through e-commerce. Uzoma shares how he spent eight years completing a four-year university course, discovered online business during COVID, made his first six figures selling an e-book, and learned how to sell products online. Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: From Anger to Opportunity 00:02:59 The Power of Mindset and Environment 00:03:12 The COVID Turning Point: First Ebook Success 00:09:39 From 15K Naira Salary to E-Commerce Success 00:11:58 University Struggles: 8 Years for a 4-Year Degree 00:22:21 Learning E-Commerce: The Mentor Connection 00:33:01 The Reality of Life for Young Nigerians 00:35:15 Top 5 High-Income Skills Breakdown 00:37:50 Copywriting: The Art of Persuasive Selling 00:45:11 Four Business Models Using One Skill 00:50:46 The Mentor Debate: Why Courses Matter 00:55:24 Discipline Over Motivation: Final Wisdom Guest: Uzoma Oranebo Web: https://bossuhziconsult.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/uzoma-oranebo-480b24149 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🎙️ ABOUT THE HOST Derrick Abaitey is a Ghanaian entrepreneur, podcast host, and personal development advocate. IG: https://www.instagram.com/derrick.abaitey Web: https://www.abaitey.com/

Segment : I Don't Have Friends And That's Made Me Stronger

What if the biggest difference between people who live authentically and those who constantly struggle with external pressure isn't how much they achieve, but understanding that living without friends doesn't mean living without connection, that authenticity isn't something you develop over time but something you protect from the very beginning, and that the woman who throws legendary birthday parties for politicians while running multiple businesses and raising children might actually be protecting something more valuable than friendship itself? In this raw and deeply personal conversation, we sit down with a woman who has lived her entire life on her own terms. From celebrating birthdays like wedding receptions with big politicians in attendance, to running a bar, restaurant, and Fugu supply business while writing books and raising children who demand her undivided attention, she reveals why she has never lived under pressure in any situation or circumstance, why if she keeps five clothes and those five clothes please her she doesn't bother herself no matter how many clothes you have, and why her authenticity started way back before most people even begin their journey of self discovery. She breaks down why growing up as a Jehovah's Witness while simultaneously celebrating birthdays that her faith discouraged might have been the first sign that her mind of her own was operating early, why living in a house full of brothers with no sisters meant she never saw that competitive vibe where two ladies fight over one man or this person wants that makeup bag or that hairstyle, and why this absence of female competition around her probably shaped her into someone who has never lived in envy of what you have more than she does. But she also confronts the brutal reality of what people mistake for friendship. Why anywhere she has worked except multimedia when it's time for her to move to the next chapter everybody cries like somebody is dead because she has very fine human relations, why she relates to you like you are her brother or sister but they don't become friends because it doesn't go beyond that, why some people on social media assumed and made claims but the way she relates to industry colleagues is just that industry colleagues who meet at events and awards programs, and why when you say somebody is your friend the person knows the inside of you but she doesn't allow that. She reveals why she has done this to avoid troubles so there will be no issue that comes up, why she could live with you at a place for years and wouldn't know your name because she's so focused on what matters to her which is her life and how to survive the next day, and why as one woman doing a whole lot running multiple business units managing workers picking orders writing books reviewing chapters catching mistakes that even the people who made them would never notice and raising a daughter who loves attention and insists it must be you that does this for me she simply cannot make time to be checking what somebody is wearing and be having friends. But she also shares the sophisticated understanding that separates vibing from friendship. Why the moment you have friends and you have an issue you'll be compelled to confide in that friend but humans switch at different times, why for the fact that she cannot trust anybody because we are friends today tomorrow will not be friends means she doesn't need a friend in the first place, why she needs a colleague a mate a person at the same church a neighbor who will say Emma is a nice person when she sees me she greets me, and why when people see them sitting together sleeping together drinking together laughing together at parties they call it friendship but there's a real meaning to friendship and she doesn't do friends as far as she is concerned. She explains why she vibes with good people so when she does a party all the people she vibes with come around, why if you call her she'll be there and if you are bereaved she comes and pays her dues and does what she has to do as what you would call a friend, but why this is not friendship in the truest sense because friendship requires a level of vulnerability and access to the inside of you that she has deliberately chosen not to give to anyone in order to protect what matters most which is her ability to remain authentic constant and consistent without the drama and switching that comes when humans get too close. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🎙️ ABOUT THE HOST Derrick Abaitey is a Ghanaian entrepreneur, podcast host, and personal development advocate. IG: https://www.instagram.com/derrick.abaitey Web: https://www.abaitey.com/

Segment: Build Your Identity Against All Expectations, Stop Living for Validation

What if the biggest difference between people who live authentically and those who constantly struggle with external pressure isn't how much they rebel or how much they conform, but understanding that true identity is formed when you're raised in an environment where discipline meets freedom, where religious training meets personal conviction, and where the woman who celebrated birthday parties as a Jehovah's Witness while maintaining her faith discovered something more valuable than blind obedience itself: the power of thinking for yourself while respecting the foundation that shaped you? In this raw and deeply personal conversation, we sit down with a woman who reveals why she was already grown and grounded into the mother thing by age 16 or 17 when she was in GSS1, why her mother would not allow you to do friends and you can have friends when you are in school during class hours but when you close and come home everybody has their work to do with one person washing another scrubbing the white home lookout chairs and another scrubbing the bathroom, why her mother did not even complete secondary school but would keep all of them stay by their books do their homework and guide them, and why early morning after church at 5 or 6 a.m. her mother would wake all of them and ask what they heard when they went to church and if you did not hear anything you would be punished by squatting and holding your ears. She breaks down why even though they were confined with the mother and siblings without time to make friends she is a social person a very social person who relates very nice and divides with people, why that upbringing gives her family a bond where you cannot come between them and it would fail, why she loved dancing and music and performing and would have been a musician if she didn't do media because she recorded demos even after secondary school with groups she was doing songs with, and why her nickname in secondary school was Kastibora and the mistresses would not even put her on duty because when she was on duty the students would have their way. But she also reveals the sophisticated understanding that separates conviction from conformity. Why she completed secondary school before she broke her virginity but you would see her on stage wearing baggy and even clapping, why people sometimes assume that because you are Tom or you are not doing boy then you do the other but she was into none of them because this is who she is and she loves entertainment, why as a DJ today she knows music and didn't struggle when she learned how to play music because aside knowing the controller she knows the songs by themselves and when she plays songs sometimes she raps them sometimes she sings them and if she doesn't rap nor sing she tells you the message of the song, and why people who listen to her know this because she has had time to learn lyrics because she would perform. She explains why when she started radio she did not start as a DJ even though the program she attended taught her everything from news writing to presenting news in English and Twi, why she started as a sales executive and knows how to do sales and negotiate well and do voiceovers, why she moved to news then entertainment then the mid morning slots and anywhere they put her she excels so they leave her there, and why if she sits in for your show you may not be happy because of the feedback. But she also confronts the brutal reality of growing up Jehovah's Witness while living authentically. Why her mother baptized and her mother's grandparents were Jehovah's Witnesses so she knows how strict their rules are, why she learned everything all the books that after that book you go into baptism but still decided that she is one of the Jehovah Witnesses and would attend services but would not baptize, why until recently they have revealed some of these restrictions but the least thing they would have issue with you, and why she said no because she is one person that when she was at secondary school born on 24th December she loved parties especially when it's her birthday and was celebrating birthday parties even though Jehovah Witnesses don't celebrate birthdays. She reveals why she started these annual birthday parties from the age of 18 right after secondary school while still attending services and studies and doing what she has to do, why she worships God and reads the Bible and has a different understanding and perspective where she doesn't challenge what is the supposed right but also has her own philosophy and way of life, why it is not like when you celebrate a birthday it is a sin but it is based on a scenario in the Bible where somebody celebrated a birthday and it went wrong because somebody had to cut somebody's head for the celebrant, and why for her if she celebrates her birthday and nobody cuts anybody's head anymore then it should be fine because that's nothing wrong she did. She explains why she didn't do this before she was 18...

Segment: Challenge to Become Better, Not to Compete with Anybody

What if the biggest difference between people who build sustainable careers and those who chase fame isn't how much recognition they receive, but understanding that passion for the work itself outlasts any temporary glory, that true success comes from serving people rather than collecting fans, and that the woman who continued working without salary while building multiple businesses on the side discovered something more valuable than fame itself: the power of staying authentic in an industry obsessed with validation? In this raw and deeply personal conversation, we sit down with a woman who reveals why she started her business after her diploma program at the University of Ghana when she was working at Top Radio and the station had financial difficulties and for a period they were not paying salaries, why even though radio has been her passion and something she loves doing apart from being paid she decided not to leave, why her mother gave her the idea to start making Sheto at home with a helper in small amounts and took it to the office where everybody loved it, and why she quickly worked on getting FDA approval through standard boards and started supplying shell total and other shops because managers who listened to her show were more than ready to have her supply their locations. She breaks down why her bosses at Top Radio loved her so much because she worked well and even when doing presentations was bringing revenue with lots of adverts, why they started running free adverts for her Sheto business on radio to support her while they couldn't pay salaries, why she survived through voiceovers especially with alcohol and drinks commercials before they were banned during peak times, and why every weekend she had events to emcee from weddings to parties to naming ceremonies driving her small golf car back home after getting paid. But she also confronts the fundamental question of what drives real work. Why it has never been about fame for her and that's why she still lives the way she lives doing everything as her ordinary self would do without the name, why she doesn't mind jumping into trotro because those times when she bought any trotro they didn't take money from her and taxi drivers would say no no no you're Emma Eje, why she has not set any class and standards that would buy pressure for her, and why as long as food is healthy and the place is clean she will eat there because she's a clean person but has never created artificial standards based on her public profile. She reveals why when people mention I'm a fan I'm a fan she always says I'm only doing my work and doing it to the best of my ability but it is you that is seeing yourself as a fan because she has not come to work looking for fans, why she stopped some award organizations from nominating her because it's not about the awards even though she has won the Pan African Heroes Awards for most outstanding voice and most ostentatious voice on radio, why she will not even buy awards because she doesn't work for fame, and why she rates her performance not by awards but by what people tell her about how her program impacts their lives and the value they place on the inspiration and messages she gives. But she also shares the sophisticated understanding that separates purpose from validation. Why the late former President Rawlings called her himself on his phone and invited her because of the work after he listened to a statement she made and told her he didn't know there are such young intelligent women still existing, why it is the work that she does and purely the purpose why she is here and the reason why her boss employed her that is driving her not fame, why she still speaks to her customers nicer than maybe the way her workers speak with customers, and why there are people who get fame headed and think that because they are popular they are supernatural human beings who don't reply messages or remind people because they feel too big. She explains why nothing has changed about her and a lot of big people tell her you have never changed, why that consistency and authenticity is important for longevity in the industry, why today people don't really listen to radio like that but people listen to her show a lot and when it is between 10 and 12 you can monitor vehicles that pass and go to banks everywhere and it's not just the streets but the corporate and top personalities, and why she has remained consistent and authentic without pretending to be anything else that she is not. But she also reveals her approach to handling negativity and criticism. Why she doesn't make time for anything that drains her energy and is too busy to have time going to check videos of people insulting her, why even though she hears people telling her there's this person saying that about you she doesn't engage, why her page is so clean because when you come with negativity you get deleted and blocked without her even responding, why she won't let it become a tren

Segment: 20 Years, Zero Court Cases - My Upbringing Kept Me Protected

What if the biggest difference between people who live authentically and those who constantly struggle with external validation isn't how much they achieve or how many friends they have, but understanding that true strength comes from protecting your inner circle rather than expanding it, that childhood training in environments where you're treated as an adult shapes your ability to navigate life without needing constant external advice, and that the woman who never needed to learn through heartbreak why friendship can be dangerous might have been protected by something more valuable than social connection itself: a foundation so solid that she never had to rely on anyone outside her family in the first place? In this raw and deeply personal conversation, we sit down with a woman who reveals why she has never had to learn through the hard way not to be doing friends, why she has no record in the past of having a previous friend whom she confided in and later the person blew her out which would have taught her that lesson, why for friendship she has no such record because she didn't even allow it to happen in the first place, and why the stages she has grown through from one phase to the other involve social media bullies where she felt one or two ways that this is not sitting well but had a family who advised her and over time she understood people's frustration and why they would come and bully you. She breaks down why when she needs anybody to confide in she will do so with her brothers, why possibly because of them that's why she doesn't do friends because she can trust them more than going outside, why even before marriage she went through only one or two sessions with a counselor because her husband was a European citizen living abroad and they spoke on the phone but she had trained herself well, and why her mother trained them very well through the teachings of Jehovah's Witnesses which apart from a few things about blood issues that people don't like teaches and trains very well in ways that guide you throughout life. But she also reveals the sophisticated foundation that shaped her self reliance. Why Jehovah's Witnesses don't have a separate section for kids like other churches but mother father and children all sit together in one session so you can guide your child if they're messing up, why during studies and discussions the kids partake and when they ask questions from the text the kids can raise answers so you're a child but you are like an adult because you're having the teaching already, why this allows you to express your curiosity and the teaching is solid in ways that help you learn how to talk and think critically, and why she has done radio for over 20 years and apart from the training she received has never goofed for any organization or individual to sue her at court while there are a lot of people facing court issues because they were not guided. She explains why the kingdom teaches you well so she doesn't always need people to advise her much because she's had enough teachings, why she came out for the preaching works and evangelism and can read the Bible in a way that makes people clap and can explain and answer questions so even though she may be young she has that height of intelligence because of the guidance and teachings from where she's coming from, why she would not always come for advice because when she was in her early 20s at Top Radio sometimes she closed from her radio show and met people age 60 plus coming to look for her because they assumed she was their age mate due to the impact and weight of what she says, and why people who are older than her come to her for advice rather than the other way around. But she also confronts the reality of choosing health and family over career pressure. Why when she left Multimedia she was pregnant carrying her baby in the first trimester and was frustrated because her contract was frustrated and her job was taken from her, why when her doctors advised that this was not healthy for the unborn child and herself and she explained to every person who mattered at the station and they didn't do anything about it she had to choose her life her health and the safety of the unborn child over the career, why once she has life she can still work and do the same work and the name is still out there because the talent is God given not something given by a man, and why if she loses one job as long as she has her talent she will survive and she is surviving. She reveals why she started her Sheto business after her diploma program at the University of Ghana when she was working at Top Radio and the station had financial difficulties and for a period they were not paying salaries, why even though radio has been her passion and something she loves doing apart from being paid her mother gave her the idea to start the business, why they made Sheto at home with a helper named Martha in small amounts and took it to the office where everybody...

Segment : Stop Chasing Someone Else's Standards

What if the biggest difference between people who live authentically and those who constantly struggle with external validation isn't how much they achieve or how they look, but understanding that beauty standards are manufactured pressures designed to make you feel inadequate, that the moment you stop feeding negative energy by refusing to watch trash content you reclaim your peace, and that the woman who takes raw camera phone pictures that get 11,000 likes while edited photos get less engagement has discovered something more valuable than perfection itself: the power of originality that makes people fall in love with the real you not the version you're trying to use to impress them? In this raw and deeply empowering conversation, we sit down with a woman who has mastered the art of living beyond opinions, and she reveals why she spends zero energy watching trash content when she could be watching something positive, why she won't even click to hear what negative people said about her because the person who has time for such content becomes burdened by it while she remains completely fine, why she could stay with you for a long time and would not know your name because that's just who she is naturally, and why her brothers would tell you she simply doesn't have time for the noise that consumes most people's mental and emotional energy. She breaks down why her book has been specifically dedicated to women and everyone learning to live beyond opinions, why her fellow sisters mothers and daughters are struggling with their identity and living under tremendous pressure, why a lot of women are dying for validation and some are going under serious risk because they feel they are lacking one or two elements before they can fully connect with their identity, and why the highlights on social media are buying for women in ways that are far too much where people show their highlights but behind the scenes they themselves don't even love what they see about themselves. But she also confronts the brutal reality of the perfection trap. Why people look very fine on social media with all the packaging but when they go back home and take off their clothes and all the additions and watch their raw self they themselves are not pleased with what they see, why even after going through all that people still mock at you so you pretend and post like you like it but when you come back to yourself you know you are exhausted emotionally and not happy, why you can never get to perfection so you should love who you are and connect with your own identity because people will connect with you, and why when professional photographers want to do shoots for her she doesn't have time and does most pictures with her phone and her raw camera picture gets 11,000 or 12,000 likes while the edited ones get less because people have identified with her originality. She reveals why over time when you allow yourself to remain authentic people identify with that and have genuine love for you not because of what you're trying to use to impress but because they love you for you, why even when you try to do other things they say this is not what we know you for we want the original you, why she hears a lot of men on her show commenting that they want their wife to be like her because people can't own themselves and everybody is struggling, and why people are asking why did God make me black I should have been fair while somebody fair is envying the melanin and wishing they have your brown color but people don't know this. She explains why knowing who you are through self awareness and then accepting who you are brings you back to being a human being and gets you connected to yourself because you are perfectly fine before people created their standards, why there are people who can eat a very full bowl of food and still have a flat stomach while somebody drinks just water and the tummy shoots because that's your nature, why when you allow somebody to convince you that flat tummy is the best you now struggle and will not even eat when you attend parties because when you eat your stomach will shoot out and you think you won't look fine in the dress, and why this means you are not living as a human being because you are disconnected and have been influenced to believe you need somebody else's validation. But she also shares the sophisticated understanding that separates awareness from ignorance. Why your natural eating and showing that you have eaten has now become a weakness for you when the other person's condition should rather be seen as a deformity or weakness, why people are struggling and going for procedures to pull fat from here to do this when all they need is awareness, why the moment you know you relax and have peace and it brings you total peace of mind so you walk with your chest very confident because you know you are very fine, and why now people's ignorant statements will not work on you because they themselves may need the education..

Segment: What I Have Is Priceless, I Have Self-Worth

The 20% Rule: Why Your SALARY Is Keeping You Poor – No Fluff, No Excuses | Paul Mante

If your salary is your only source of income, are you one step away from poverty? In this powerful conversation, financial literacy expert Paul Kofi Mante breaks down the money lessons most people never learn in school — and why earning a good salary doesn't automatically make you wealthy. Why do some people work for decades and still struggle financially? Why can someone be highly educated but financially illiterate? And what do wealthy people understand about money that the average person may never be taught? From the dangers of depending entirely on a salary to the difference between saving and investing, this episode challenges the way we think about money, work, wealth, and financial independence. Paul also discusses the importance of investing consistently, managing inflation, building alternative income streams, and taking personal responsibility for your financial future — even when the economic system makes it difficult. Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Poverty Trap of Salary Dependence 00:02:38 Paul's Childhood Struggles and Early Hardships 00:04:21 The UNDP Job That Sparked a Financial Literacy Mission 00:05:46 The Turning Point: Discovering Vision and Purpose 00:09:04 Marriage, Money, and the Balance of Family Income 00:11:13 Educated But Financially Illiterate: The Crisis Explained 00:11:29 The Journey to Financial Independence Begins 00:16:49 Understanding Risk and the DDEP Crisis Recovery 00:18:36 Investment Options Explained: Treasury Bills to Mutual Funds 00:34:53 The Teacher Who Makes 80,000 Cedis Monthly in Interest 00:40:17 Five Essential Areas of Financial Planning 00:41:12 Why You Shouldn't Make Your Children Your Retirement Plan 00:48:58 The 2,000 Cedis Salary Challenge and Practical Solutions 00:50:20 The 10-20-70 Principle for Every Income Level 00:53:57 The Poverty of Time: Ghana's Infrastructure Crisis 01:01:54 Starting Financial Education: From Secondary School to Age 21 01:05:20 Why Salary Increases Don't Solve Financial Problems 01:09:49 Operation One Million: Building Wealth Over Time 01:16:22 Money and the Four Glass Balls of Life 01:18:52 Final Challenge: Create Your Financial Future or Accept What Shows Up Guest: Paul Mante IG: https://www.instagram.com/paulkofimante/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-mante-7861ba7b ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 🎙️ ABOUT THE HOST Derrick Abaitey is a Ghanaian entrepreneur, podcast host, and personal development advocate. IG: https://www.instagram.com/derrick.abaitey Web: https://www.abaitey.com/

Segment: The Family Business Trap - Position Without Authority

What if the biggest difference between families who build businesses that last for generations and those who watch fortunes crumble within a single lifetime isn't how much wealth they accumulate, but understanding that giving someone a position without giving them authority creates frustration that destroys everything you've built, that fathers in their 70s who won't let go aren't just driven by ego but by fear of young people making mistakes that kill the business when they're too old to work, and that complex family dynamics with multiple branches and mothers require governance structures at the family level before you even think about transitioning the business to the next generation? In this powerful and deeply insightful episode of Konnected Minds, we sit down with a family business expert who reveals the uncomfortable truth about fathers who give their children the position of succeeding MD or CEO but won't give them the authority so every major decision still goes through them, why this makes the younger generation feel like a figurehead working for the father instead of running the show, why this frustrates next gens so much they eventually say how about you just come back and take your thing since you will not allow me to run this show, and why starting your succession while you're still active in the business is the only way to avoid heart palpitations and sabotaging what you're trying to do. She breaks down why there is ego and fear and emotional attachment when you started a business in your 30s and built it to 75 and now your child is coming on board because this business has been your baby for your entire active work life, why each party really needs to understand where the other is coming from and give themselves some grace because it's tough on both sides, why the older generation struggles with thoughts of I hope they don't mess it up I hope if I step away things will not crumble, and why the moment you're looking at putting succession plan in place when you step out there's no way you won't have heart palpitations and sabotage by giving position without authority. But she also reveals the sophisticated approach that solves these problems through family governance. Why families practice how to make decisions at the family level by drawing up a family constitution that is the rulebook saying this is who we are this is how we do things this is how we make decisions these are the do's and don't this is how we take ownership these are the things we will never invest in this is how we will never be represented these are our values, why that family constitution drives how they run their own meetings through a family council that is the governing body within the family of which the children are a part, and why there's already role play happening at the family level before they get to the point where they work in the business or the father is thinking of handing over. She explains why as you prepare the children while they're still in school or working somewhere you should immediately get them to be part of the board even if they are just there as observers so they understand how decision making is made and they understand daddy in the boardroom not daddy at home, why even from primary or secondary school you should bring them into the office during summer to do internship jobs so they get familiar with the business which naturally builds their interest, and why these hiccups where the father is trying to transition to the son and the son is wondering does he even want me does he respect my ideas happen because you're coming into that thing just like husband and wife getting married where at the honeymoon phase everything feels rosy but when that phase is off there is friction and tussling for authority. But she also confronts the brutal reality of next gens who went to Harvard to study business administration and come back home to work with their father who's at home and they always have to go to him for his consent before they can make a decision and their own salary he's paying them so anything they do he can step on it and say accountant don't pay this guy meanwhile the father's education is not even at their level he built it from vibes. She reveals why it's a combination of many things including culture where the father still feels like no matter what I'm still your father and the child should know when to defer, why there's the man's ego that will always be there so the child needs the wisdom to know when to defer even though they know what to do so at the end of the day the old man may say oh by the way young man go ahead with this thing you know what to do, and why as opposed to the child just feeling fly like yeah I'm now the one in charge so you don't care what the old man thinks. She explains why the older generation should put structure in place that does not create that dynamic, why if the younger generation feels like it's still the man that makes the decision at the end of...