
Season 2, Episode 46: Send Someone a Laptop, Even If They’re in Brazil!
Send us Fan Mail Costco Parking Lots, Shovel Landscaping for a Brazil Laptop, and Decluttering Tabletops Broadcasting from a box truck in a Fairfax, Virginia Costco parking lot, Alan Cook explains how manual yard work funded a laptop for a Brazilian pen pal, critiques sports gambling, and shares decluttering tips. Live From a Fairfax Costco Parking Lot Alan Cook opens the broadcast parked along a side wall in a Costco lot in Fairfax, Virginia, right across from the Interstate 66 transfer station in a twenty-foot truck. Reflecting on four years hosting the show and twenty years running 1-800-Junk-Refund, he describes using artificial intelligence to build spreadsheets for mailing labels targeting eight hundred fifty real estate offices across the Washington, D.C. area. He highlights a recent job with an agent named Toni clearing out a luxury two-bedroom condominium for a client named John Daly. The cleanout yielded a pristine barnwood dining table listed for resale at two thousand dollars, along with a heavy medical bed frame loaded onto the truck for scrap metal recycling. Cook explains his company model: hauling away items twenty percent below competitor pricing, then sorting loads to junk trash, recycle metals, donate usable goods for tax receipts, and resell valuables while returning thirty-five percent of sales proceeds to clients. Absolute Truth and a Lesson on Scripture Transitioning from junk removal to theology, Cook shares details from a text conversation with a woman from upstate New York who recently joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Answering her questions about faith, he asks what three plus two equals, noting the answer is five in Tokyo just as it is anywhere else in the world. He argues that divine truth operates as an absolute rather than a subjective opinion, pointing to biblical history stretching from Adam around four thousand BC through Malachi, Christ, and the apostles. Cook describes how Joseph Smith sought spiritual guidance as a teenager in 1820, leading to the organization of their church and modern scriptures including the Book of Mormon. Referencing a recent worldwide church conference address, he cautions listeners against mobile sports betting through applications like DraftKings, warning that wagering money on uncontrollable athletic outcomes invites spiritual and financial clutter into everyday life. Cheap Hot Dogs and Landscaping in Burke Returning after the commercial break, Cook praises BBS Radio co-founder Don Newsom and encourages listeners to start their own affordable talk programs. He highlights a budget-friendly lunch habit at 7-Eleven, sharing that he is currently eating two hot dogs purchased for three dollars and fifty cents alongside an eighty-cent rewards soda. Shifting to client work, Cook recounts a multi-day visit to Burke, Virginia, for a long-time customer named Meena. After hauling away a three-person reclining home theater sofa, Cook agrees to tackle her neglected yard borders at his company rate of one hundred dollars an hour for two workers. Across three hours of weeding, he installs weed-control cloth and fresh Home Depot mulch along the front foundation beds, snapping before-and-after photographs to document the transformation. Meena adds an extra one hundred dollars for Cook to remove an old snowblower, promising to repair it if possible or scrap the metal if the motor fails. Shovel Work and a Laptop for Karina Cook describes clearing Meena's backyard utility plot, measuring roughly eight feet wide by thirty feet long, to prepare garden soil for spring planting. Rather than renting a rototiller, he manually strips the turf using a long-handled shovel braced against his torso while his helper, June, hauls dirt-filled mulch bags across the property. Cook reveals that he undertook the strenuous labor specifically to fund a gift for Karina, a woman living in São Paulo, Brazil, with whom he has exchanged translated Portuguese text messages for six months. Admiring her humble ambition to buy her mother a house, Cook promised to purchase a computer for her civil service exam studies if he earned extra revenue from non-standard jobs. Although shipping and Brazilian import duties pushed the price of the three-hundred-dollar Amazon notebook to approximately six hundred dollars, Cook gladly covers the expense, framing spontaneous generosity as a joyful way to support a worthy partner. Big Twelve Penalties for Fan Chants Opening the final segment, Cook applauds the Big 12 Conference for introducing strict disciplinary measures against hostile religious chants directed at his alma mater, Brigham Young University. He recalls recurring instances across multiple campuses where opposing student sections chanted vulgarities targeting church members, noting the painful irony following BYU's donation of twenty-seven thousand pounds of food to Cincinnati shelters. Under the new athletic policy, home football programs face a fifteen-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty for discriminatory crowd chants, while basketball games incur an immediate technical foul, a one-hundred-thousand-dollar institutional fine, and potential student ejections. Cook emphasizes that sports venues should foster spirited competition without tolerating bigotry, contrasting the hostility with BYU's tradition of offering visiting fans complimentary ice cream. He praises conference leadership for shifting accountability directly onto team performance and fan attendance privileges, calling the policy change a long-overdue stand against public religious intolerance in collegiate athletics. Clearing Tabletop Clutter and Building Fitness Habits Cook closes with practical household decluttering strategies, advising listeners to restrict hallway tables and piano tops to three to five framed family photographs rather than crowding dozens together. Digitizing older pictures through smartphone cameras preserves sentimental memories while preventing visual clutter from overwhelming living spaces. He also suggests establishing rhythmic habits, such as removing a single unneeded product each time one enters a bathroom, to eliminate mess without dedicating entire weekends to cleaning. Connecting physical tidiness to health, Cook discusses how Karina recently lost nearly fifty pounds through consistent treadmill workouts, reminding him of his own 2018 marathon training and a past trip to Bern, Switzerland, where moderate portion sizes prevailed. Urging listeners to break major fitness goals into manageable weekly targets, Cook looks ahead to the annual Holy War rivalry football game between Utah and BYU before finishing his second 7-Eleven hot dog and concluding the broadcast.















