Brilliant Balance

Hosted by Cherylanne Skolnicki

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462

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Aug 2026

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About the show

You deserve a big, full life and the freedom to enjoy it. The Brilliant Balance Podcast helps women in leadership design their next chapter for sustainable success—without burnout. Every week, host Cherylanne Skolnicki, a leading expert in work-life balance, leadership growth, and mindset coaching, shares ideas, inspiration, and insights to help high-achieving women align their ambition with personal fulfillment. Through conversations on leadership mindset, time management, and personal growth, you'll gain the tools to thrive in both your career and personal life. Whether you're considering a career pivot or craving more time for your personal life, you might find yourself asking: How do I advance my career—without working 24/7? Can I achieve my goals while still having time for my family? How do I stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling in control? What's next for me—and how do I design it intentionally? If you've ever wondered how to fulfill your potential without breaking your life, this podcast is for you. In addition to sharing her own insights, Cherylanne sits down with experts, thought leaders, and ambitious women who reveal their strategies for burnout recovery, productivity for women, and redefining success on their terms. You'll love the Brilliant Balance Podcast if you like podcasts like: Unlocking Us or Dare to Lead with Brene Brown, Women at Work by Harvard Business Review, The Midlife with Reshma Saujani, We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle, The Mel Robbins Podcast, HerMoney with Jean Chatzky, So Money with Farnoosh Torabi

Listen to episodes

60 recent

August 18, 202633 min

How Change Really Happens with Kristy Ellmer

Change is hard. But it isn't because people resist it. In this episode, I'm joined by Kristy Ellmer, Managing Director and Partner at Boston Consulting Group and co-author of How Change Really Works. We explore why so many personal and organizational changes fail, what behavioral science teaches us about making change stick, and the simple shifts that can help us move forward with more confidence. Whether you're leading a team, navigating a career transition, or trying to create new habits at home, this conversation will change the way you think about transformation. Show Highlights: How Kristy's early career shaped her approach to uncertainty and change. [04:15] Why most transformations fail and what "change distance" really means. [10:20] The surprising role agency plays in helping people embrace change. [15:10] Why rituals matter more than willpower when creating lasting change. [23:30] The biggest misconception about how people respond to change. [34:15] How curiosity creates an opportunity for change to succeed. [36:45] What the IKEA Effect teaches us about getting people to buy into change. [42:30] Why a "fresh start" can be the key to rebuilding momentum. [1:05:10] How understanding your emotions can reduce cognitive load during periods of change. [1:16:40] Resources Mentioned: How Change Really Works by Kristy Ellmer, Julia Darr, and Philip Jamieson: https://amzn.to/3S1UZuO Connect with Kristy Ellmer on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristy-r-ellmer-b25b7a23/ Follow Kristy Ellmer on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kristy_ellmer/ To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: https://brilliant-balance.com/explorecoaching Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

August 11, 202641 min

Life as you Climb with Betsy Hamm

What does it take to build an ambitious career without losing sight of what matters most? In this episode, I'm joined by Betsy Hamm, former CEO of Duck Donuts and founder of Loud & Lifted. Betsy shares the unexpected career moves that took her from marketing iconic brands to leading a company through rapid growth, private equity, and international expansion. Along the way, she opens up about the invisible rules she had to rewrite, both at work and at home. If you're navigating a season of growth, leadership, or reinvention, this conversation offers a refreshing reminder that success doesn't have to come at the expense of your values. Show Highlights: How Betsy's career evolved from Hershey to Duck Donuts. [08:30] What it was like to help grow Duck Donuts from 20 to 200 locations. [26:10] Why she stepped into the CEO role during one of the most challenging seasons. [45:15] The pressure of leading through private equity, rapid growth, and COVID. [49:30] The invisible rules she had to let go of at home and at work. [1:00:20] Why delegating at home was harder than delegating at work. [1:02:15] What she learned about building the right leadership team. [1:10:30] How leaving the CEO role led to an unexpected new chapter. [1:20:45] The mission behind Loud & Lifted and creating spaces where women support women. [1:28:20] The legacy Betsy hopes to leave for her daughters. [1:40:15] Resources Mentioned: Learn more about Betsy Hamm: https://betsyhamm.com Listen to the Loud & Lifted Podcast: https://loudandliftedpodcast.com Connect with Betsy on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/betsyhamm/ To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

August 4, 202626 min

Performing for People Who Aren't Even Watching

How many decisions do you make based on what you think other people will think? In this episode, I'm unpacking the quiet fear of judgment that shapes so many of our choices. Whether it's speaking up in a meeting, showing up at a reunion, making a career change, or simply deciding what to wear, we often act as though everyone is watching our every move. The truth is, they're usually much more focused on themselves. We'll explore why this happens, what it costs us, and how to stop performing for an audience that mostly exists in our own minds. Show Highlights: The surprising lesson I learned from a summer full of high-stakes moments. [05:20] Why we overestimate how much other people notice us. [15:10] The psychology behind the "spotlight effect." [21:40] The hidden cost of performing for an imaginary audience. [31:15] Why fear of judgment keeps us from pursuing what we really want. [40:20] What to do when people really are judging you. [50:45] A simple mindset shift that can change the way you make decisions. [59:10] How to stop asking, "What will people think?" and start asking a better question. [1:05:30] Building the emotional resilience to move forward anyway. [1:11:20] Join The Coaching Circle to attend the August masterclass on Emotional Resilience and apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

July 28, 202630 min

What avoidance really shows us

Have you ever finally done something you've been putting off and immediately wondered, Why did I wait so long? In this episode, I'm exploring what avoidance really is and why so many of us stay stuck, even when we know exactly what we need to do. From difficult conversations and health decisions to everyday life admin, avoidance often looks like being busy or waiting for the "right time." But underneath it is usually something else. If there's something you've been circling for weeks, months, or even years, this episode will help you understand what's keeping you stuck and how to start moving forward. Show Highlights: The personal health decision I avoided for years and what finally changed. [04:30] Why avoidance is more than procrastination. [14:10] The hidden emotional cost of putting things off. [20:45] Why difficult conversations rarely get easier with time. [27:15] The surprising ways avoidance shows up in parenting, health, and everyday life. [36:50] How the "complexity illusion" keeps us from taking action. [47:20] Why the things we avoid are often easier than we imagine. [55:40] What avoidance teaches us about ourselves and why it always comes with a price. [1:02:30] One simple question that can help you take your next step. [1:08:10] Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

July 21, 202631 min

How to Hold the Room - Lessons Learned On Stage

What makes someone command a room? It isn't having the perfect script. In this episode, I'm sharing what I've learned from hundreds of speaking engagements, including the biggest mistake I made at my very first live event. It taught me that presence doesn't come from memorizing every word. It comes from connection. Whether you're leading a meeting, giving a presentation, interviewing for a job, or stepping onto a stage, these lessons will help you communicate with more confidence, connect more naturally, and hold the room without trying to perform. Show Highlights: The painful lesson from my first live event and what it taught me about presence. [04:20] Why speaking is always a two-way conversation. [16:15] The audience signals every speaker should learn to recognize. [23:40] How to stop letting one disengaged person steal your attention. [32:10] Why connection should come before credentialing. [37:55] The hidden cost of over-scripting your message. [46:20] How to prepare for high-stakes moments without memorizing every word. [55:10] Simple ways to calm your nervous system before you speak. [1:02:45] The habits that help you show up with more confidence and presence. [1:09:30] Planning an event? Learn more about booking Cherylanne for keynotes, workshops, coaching roundtables, and fireside chats: https://brilliant-balance.com/speaking To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

July 14, 202646 min

Being a Likeable Badass - with Alison Fragale

Can you be both warm and ambitious? Kind and confident? Supportive and successful? In this episode, I'm joined by organizational psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Alison Fragale to talk about why women often feel like they have to choose between being liked and being respected. We unpack the science behind status, influence, and reciprocity, and why the most successful women learn to build both warmth and confidence at the same time. If you've ever worried about being "too nice" or "too much," this conversation will change the way you think about leadership, relationships, and the way people experience you. Show Highlights: How Alison's childhood shaped her understanding of warmth and assertiveness. [06:10] Why being liked is one of the most overlooked sources of influence. [15:20] The difference between status, power, and respect. [27:45] What it really means to be a "Likeable Badass." [33:30] Why women don't have to choose between confidence and connection. [43:15] The surprising truth behind feedback like "you're too nice" or "you're too aggressive." [53:40] Practical ways to build stronger relationships without feeling transactional. [1:08:10] Simple daily habits that strengthen your network over time. [1:17:20] Alison's favorite status-building practice that anyone can start today. [1:24:40] Order your copy of Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve by Dr. Alison Fragale : Paperback: https://amzn.to/4vgAMQw Hardcover: https://amzn.to/449v9aK Kindle: https://amzn.to/4uCUBjy To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

July 7, 202629 min

Am I being selfish? Listener Questions Answered

Have you ever tried to do something good for yourself, only to feel guilty the second someone else had a reaction to it? In this episode, I'm answering listener questions about what happens when self-care becomes visible and the people around us have feelings about it. I'm talking about morning workouts, girls' trips, hobbies, and the guilt that can show up when we start making room for ourselves. Underneath each question is a deeper one: how do I get my own needs met without feeling like the villain in someone else's story? This episode is for you if you're ready to protect the practices that help you feel like yourself, without over-explaining, hiding, or asking for permission. Show Highlights: ● Why visible self-care can feel so complicated. [02:02] ● The listener question behind this Dear Cherylanne episode. [03:34] ● Why self-care does not need to become a debate. [12:12] ● How to handle guilt around time away. [18:58] ● The difference between privacy and secrecy. [27:04] ● Why hobbies deserve space in a full life. [31:30] ● How guilt changes as kids get older. [33:12] ● The difference between guilt, judgment, and grief. [40:52] ● What it means to be strategically selfish. [45:08] Submit a Dear Cherylanne question: https://brilliant-balance.com/dear-cherylanne Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

June 30, 202627 min

They're Watching How You Treat Yourself

Every Mother's Day, I see the same message on cards: Thank you for giving up everything for us. But the cards my own kids write tell a different story. In this episode, I'm talking about what we're teaching the people around us when we treat ourselves like we don't matter. I unpack the Type C pattern, why being endlessly capable gets rewarded, and the cost of always putting yourself last. This is not about self-care days or finding more time. It's about making room for the things that matter to you, even in small ways. Because people learn from what we do, not just what we say. Show Highlights: The pattern I keep noticing in the Mother's Day card aisle. [01:30] What my kids' handwritten cards taught me instead. [05:15] The Type C personality and why the world rewards it. [11:40] What kids actually absorb when they watch us disappear. [16:20] Why I'm not telling you to go get a massage. [22:10] What microdosing your own needs really looks like. [25:45] Real examples from my own porch, my workouts, and my travel. [29:30] Why strategic selfishness might be the most generous thing you can model. [34:50] To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

June 23, 202631 min

How to grow your career and family without losing yourself

How do you grow your career and your family at the same time without losing yourself in the process? In this episode, I'm exploring why that question feels so familiar to high-achieving women. I'm talking about the invisible math of work, home, and you, and why your own needs are often the first to get squeezed out. Instead of waiting to see what's left after everyone else gets your time and energy, I'm inviting you to protect space for what helps you feel healthy, whole, and human. This episode is for you if you're ready to stop putting yourself last and start making room for yourself in the middle of a full life. Show Highlights: ● The core question so many working mothers are trying to solve. [01:02] ● Why "losing yourself" is often the missing part of work-life balance. [03:10] ● The invisible math of work, home, and you. [05:04] ● How your own needs slowly get crowded out. [06:42] ● The mental model that keeps women at the bottom of the list. [13:15] ● What happens when you protect your own non-negotiables. [16:28] ● How Parkinson's Law explains the way work fills available time. [18:42] ● Why constraints can create clarity and better choices. [22:10] ● A client story about making room for a more spacious season. [26:28] ● The question that helps you work backward from what you truly want. [30:38] ● How to begin making room for what makes you feel like yourself. [38:52] To book an exploratory call and learn about coaching options: http://brilliant-balance.com/explore Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe to the Brilliant Balance Weekly: www.brilliant-balance.com/weekly Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki

June 16, 202627 min

The Good Mother Rulebook Nobody Published but Everyone Follows

Do you ever feel like you're measuring yourself against an invisible standard of what a "good mother" should be? In this episode, I'm unpacking the unwritten rulebook so many mothers follow without even realizing it. I'm sharing a personal story from my son's preschool years that triggered a shame spiral over something he doesn't even remember. That moment helped me see how many standards I had absorbed from childhood, culture, comparison, and expectations I never consciously chose. Today, I'm inviting you to look at your own Good Mother Rulebook, decide which rules truly reflect your values, and release the ones creating unnecessary guilt or pressure. Show Highlights: ● The invisible Good Mother Rulebook most of us are following. [00:38] ● My preschool picture day story. [02:38] ● Why one forgotten moment felt like a parenting failure. [07:18] ● The difference between embarrassment and shame. [08:03] ● How motherhood standards become internalized over time. [11:22] ● Why high achievers are especially vulnerable to unwritten rules. [13:58] ● Where our ideas of "good mothering" often come from. [15:28] ● How comparison quietly shapes our personal rulebooks. [18:26] ● Examples of rules you may be carrying without realizing it. [20:04] ● Why most motherhood rules are more negotiable than they feel. [21:18] ● Three steps to uncover and rewrite your own rulebook. [23:48] ● Choosing standards that reflect your values instead of inherited pressure. [28:03] ● The few things in motherhood that are truly non-negotiable. [29:05] To register for the Couples Workshop, click here: https://members.brilliantbalance.net/couplesworkshop Join The Coaching Circle to apply what you learn on the podcast with structure & support: https://brilliant-balance.com/coachingcircle Subscribe for weekly content from Cherylanne straight to your inbox: https://brilliantbalance.substack.com/ Follow Cherylanne on Instagram: www.instagram.com/cskolnicki