Burn it Down

Hosted by Alexis Doss

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101

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May 2026

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About the show

Welcome to Burn It Down, a podcast for people who are done pretending things are fine. Hosted by Alexis Doss, life pivot and identity reinvention coach, these episodes are part pep talk, part truth serum, and all permission to walk away from the life that no longer fits. If you’re ready to stop performing and start becoming - light the match, and let’s go.

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60 recent

May 27, 202627 min

PART 2 - The “He’s Not That Bad” Stayer & The Self Silencer

If you've ever stayed in a relationship because "at least he doesn't cheat" or if you've been quietly shrinking yourself so your partner doesn't feel less than, this episode is going to HIT :)Today we're going deep on the last two of the four Settling Style patterns. And I'll be REAL honest...these are the two I lived the longest.By the end of this episode you're either going to feel so seen you have to pause it or you're going to immediately send it to someone you love. You know you want to 😈And if you want to know which pattern is yours, the Settling Style Quiz is available ONLY inside The Good Enough Trap workshop.One thing you need to know: the workshop goes from $27 to $97 in one week.If you've been listening to this series and feeling it, now is the time. Get in at $27, take the quiz, and get your personalized game plan before the price goes up.🔗 Join here → www.alexisthetoughlovecoach.com/the-good-enough-trap-376222DM me on Instagram @thetoughlovecoach and let me know if you watched! --------------------------------Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox ⁠⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠⁠ SOCIALS:-Check instagram (⁠⁠⁠@burnitdownpodcast⁠⁠⁠)- Find me on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@thetoughlovecoach⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠- The Reinvention Room on ⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠ The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

May 12, 202624 min

Ep 100: PART 2- The Safety Seeker & The Bread Crumb Accepter

Last week we named the trap. This week we go inside it 😈There are four patterns that keep high-achieving women stuck in relationships that aren't working and in this episode we're breaking down the first two. If you've ever felt completely alone inside a relationship, or caught yourself thinking "that's kind of a big deal for him" about something that should be the bare minimum, this episode is going to hit.I get personal about how being cheated on and coming out of an abusive relationship rewired what I considered acceptable and how finally finding someone trustworthy felt like winning the lottery. I break down exactly who the Safety Seeker and the Bread Crumb Accepter are, what they're doing, what they're telling their best friends, and what it's actually costing them beyond just the relationship.Join the Good Enough Trap Workshop (May 25th-26th)https://www.alexisthetoughlovecoach.com/the-good-enough-trap-376222--------------------------------------Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox ⁠⁠HERE⁠⁠ SOCIALS:-Check instagram (⁠⁠@burnitdownpodcast⁠⁠)- Find me on Instagram: ⁠⁠@thetoughlovecoach⁠⁠⁠⁠- The Reinvention Room on ⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠ The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

May 5, 202631 min

Ep 99: Are You In The "Good Enough Trap"?

Nothing is technically wrong. He's not cheating. He's not abusive. But something feels off and you can't stop thinking about it.That feeling has a name.In this episode, I share the blind spot that kept me stuck in my marriage for years, the four patterns that keep high achieving women settling, and the question I wish someone had asked me before I wasted another year going in circles.If something feels off: this episode is for you. And if it's not for you...send it to someone it is.DM me @thetoughlovecoach and tell me which of the four patterns you think you are. 🖤Use code PODCAST99 for $20 off The Good Enough Trap workshop → www.alexisthetoughlovecoach.com/the-good-enough-trap-376222

April 29, 202619 min

Ep 98: I just broke out of the victim mentality cycle

I FINALLY caught myself before I spiraled back down the hill a few nights ago and I had to share this revelation and has already changed my life. If you struggle with pity party, "woe is me" thinking, or a victim mentality - listen to thisAlso P.S. I am now attending the Taozen Aya retreat in September in Europe from 17-20th! If you are interested in going and want more details, DM me or email me "SEPTEMBER RETREAT" and we can chat! <3--------------------------------------Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox ⁠HERE⁠ SOCIALS:-Check instagram (⁠@burnitdownpodcast⁠)- Find me on Instagram: ⁠@thetoughlovecoach⁠- The Reinvention Room on ⁠Youtube⁠ The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

March 31, 2026Episode 9754 min

ep 97: Taozen and my first Colombian plant medicine retreat (Aya!)

Sit down with myself and Fred & Carla from Taozen to chat all the ins and outs of this incredible Aya retreat! Taozen organises indigenous-led plant medicine retreats with different Amazonian elder shamans around the world, with an emphasis on unique cultural exchanges, real community reciprocity and proper preparation and integration. Their next retreats with Amazonian tribes & sacred medicines:𓂀 May 15-25 (Amazon)𓂀 Jul 16-19 (EU)𓂀 Sept 17-20 (EU)Feel the call? Reach out via IG or book a call via their website: www.taozenfamily.com and instagram: @taozenfamilyGIVEAWAY: I am giving away two 3 month 1:1 coaching programs to the first 2 people to sign up to come on this amazing retreat with me, the 3rd person gets a 90 minute 1:1 session. DM or email me the word "RETREAT" and we can chat details! If you talk to them on your own, make sure you mention me or the podcast!--------------------------------------Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast)- Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvention Room on Youtube The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

March 24, 202613 min

Ep 96: Contempt Part 3 - You're not needy, you're just unmet

One of the most effective ways to keep you small is to label your basic human needs as "neediness." If you’ve been told you’re too much for wanting communication or dramatic for wanting consistency, this episode is for you. We’re reframing needy as emotionally starved and discussing why asking for less will never actually bring you peace. Become unrecognizable in six weeks. LAST chance to apply for The Secure Self and build a life you actually romanticize. APPLY HERE ------------------- Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE  SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast)- Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvention Room on Youtube   The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

March 3, 202618 min

Ep 95: Contempt Part 2 - Contempt Is the Real Relationship Killer

It’s not just a bad mood or a phase. When eye rolls, dismissive tones, and general irritation at your presence become the baseline, you aren’t dealing with conflict, you’re dealing with contempt. Today, we explore why contempt is the #1 predictor of divorce and why it feels so uniquely soul-crushing to be on the receiving end of it. Stop breaking promises to yourself. Join The Secure Self and use the SOS Method to overhaul your boundaries and find your take it or leave it energy. APPLY HERE (Only 2 spots left to grab 30% off) ------------------- Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE  SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast)- Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvention Room on Youtube   The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

February 24, 202619 min

Ep 94: Contempt Part 1 - When love turns Into withholding

Have you ever felt like affection, compliments, or even a simple touch have become rewards you have to earn? After analyzing over 500 stories of relationship breakdown (through the comment section of my TikTok) , one theme kept surfacing: Withholding. In this series premiere, we’re pulling back the curtain on why insecure men use emotional starvation as a tool for control and how to spot the subtle signs - from "jokes" that sting to the dreaded cold shoulder - before the dynamic escalates. Ready to stop fishing for crumbs? Doors are officially open (for podcast and email peeps ONLY) for The Secure Self, my 6-week intensive. Stop defaulting to the bare minimum and become the woman whose standards are non-negotiable. APPLY HERE (First 4 people to apply and join get $300 off!) ------------------- Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE  SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast) - Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvention Room on Youtube   The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

February 17, 202610 min

Ep 93: Fall in love with yourself & stop accepting mediocre

A tough love conversation that you need to hear. ------------------ Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE Taking early applications for my 6 week group coaching program: The Secure Self. Apply HERE  SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast) to find your TLAT of the week!- Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvention Room on Youtube   The Burn It Down Podcast is about raw stories and shifts in life, relationships, and business. While I’m here to share what I know, nothing on this show is a substitute for medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. This is a space for expansion, but you are the CEO of your own life. Use your judgment and consult with the right professionals before making major moves. By hitting play, you’re owning your results, your interpretations, and your journey.

February 10, 202641 min

Ep 92: Reclaiming the divine feminine with Asher Hewitt

Info on Asher! Website: https://www.exoticyogini.com/Membership: https://www.exoticyogini.com/exotic-yoga-membership Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/exotic_yogini/#TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@exotic__yogini ------------------ Download my FREE 10 Minute Identity Detox HERE  SOCIALS:- Check instagram (@burnitdownpodcast) to find your TLAT of the week!- Find me on Instagram: @thetoughlovecoach- The Reinvetion Room on Youtube

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