What Do You Know To Be True?

Hosted by Roger Kastner

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Aug 2026

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What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. Roger Kastner is an organization development practitioner and a self-leadership coach who helps leaders and teams move past repeated patterns and limiting beliefs to create the clarity and alignment necessary to achieve their goals and become more of their possible selves. He created What Do You Know To Be True? to amplify the stories and experiences of others who have made that pivot to become more of their possible selves. #personaldevelopment #possibilities #reinvention #superpower #leadershipdevelopment leadership #coaching #RogerKastner

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August 13, 2026Episode 7844 min

The One Big Pivot Won't Work | Reinvent Yourself with Career Coach Sam Alvita

What if career reinvention is not one dramatic pivot but a practice you return to again and again? Most of us were sold a straighter story: climb the ladder, master the skill, and fulfillment waits at the top. But the skills we build today depreciate fast, and the ladder was designed for a world that no longer exists. Your ability to reinvent yourself doesn't happen in one big step. Career strategist, learning designer, and founder of "Work, Rewritten", Sam Alvita joins Roger Kastner to explore what replaces that old map: a portfolio career built from personal brands, side projects, and collaborations, not a single job title. Their conversation reaches into career identity, leadership development, and personal development, and what it actually takes to unlearn the stories that keep high achievers stuck. Sam names what has changed under our feet: the skills college graduates build today may last six months to two and a half years. In place of the straight-line ladder she offers a different image, a web of work, where the most successful people diversify their footprint rather than handing all their power to one employer. The conversation moves through the learn, unlearn, relearn discipline, why AI is acting as a great equalizer in the executive room, and the Navy SEAL principle that the most senior person in the room speaks last. Sam and Roger explore how real team building works when leaders are measured by how well they skill the people around them. By the end, you will leave with a reframe you can act on: simplicity is not the same as ease. A marathon is a series of bite-sized steps, and so is reinvention. If you have been waiting for the single bold move that changes everything, this conversation is the invitation to trade that myth for a practice you can return to again and again. In this episode, Sam answers the following questions: - How to reinvent my career? - How do I prepare to change careers? - What makes for great teams? - What is the learn, unlearn, and relearn cycle? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Sam’s LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/sam-sloan-alvita/ - Sam’s Company: https://www.byworkrewritten.com/ Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Subscribe to our newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ Music in this episode by Amplify Music What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #CareerReinvention #TeamBuilding #reinventyourself #LeadershipDevelopment #PortfolioCareer #LearnUnlearnRelearn #CareerPivot #leadershipcoaching #personaldevelopment

July 30, 2026Episode 7745 min

Words Won't Build Psychological Safety Your Body Will | Coach and Author Croft Edwards

Most leaders think psychological safety is about choosing the right words. But your nervous system is broadcasting signals long before you speak, and your team is reading every one of them. If your body hasn't fully arrived in the room, neither has your ability to connect. Roger sits down with Croft Edwards, former Army Lieutenant Colonel, leadership coach, and coach trainer, to explore why the body is the missing data layer in how we create safety with others. Croft shares the moment his military training collided with a room full of people dancing, what that collision taught him about nervous system regulation, and how somatic leadership starts with one unexpected truth: the most difficult person you'll ever lead is yourself. What You'll Take Away From This Conversation: • Why psychological safety isn't just about what you say — it's about what your body is already communicating before you open your mouth • The body-armor story that revealed how Croft's own nervous system was treating connection as a threat • How embodied coaching and self-leadership work together: you cannot co-regulate someone else if you haven't learned to regulate yourself first • Why the body is, in Croft's words, "the Holy Grail in coaching and leadership" Croft Edwards is a somatic and embodiment leadership coach who helps leaders move from command-and-control to embodied presence. A former U.S. Army Lieutenant Colonel, Croft's journey from military leadership to ontological coaching shapes his approach to psychological safety, emotional intelligence, and trauma informed leadership. He believes the body holds the intelligence most leadership development leaves untapped. In this episode, Croft answers the following questions: • How to create psychological safety? • How to regulate my nervous system? • What is embodied leadership? • How can I be more authentic as a leader? Resources mentioned in the episode: • Croft’s company: https://croftandcompany.com/ • LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/croftedwards/ • Croft’s latest book: "The Liquid Accordion: A Somatic and Embodiment Primer for Coaching In, With, and Through the Body for Coaches and Leaders” Music in this episode by Amplify Music. What Do You Know To Be True? is an invitation for those who are in the middle of a mid-career reinvention, attempting to pivot from the old version of you, into one that is more aligned with purpose and values, and becoming more of your possible self. These conversations are with leaders who have been at that pivot point, who’ve navigated the messy middle, and now creating more meaning in the world through their work. Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #PsychologicalSafety #NervousSystemRegulation #SomaticLeadership #EmbodiedCoaching #SelfLeadership #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #reinventyourself #RogerKastner

July 16, 2026Episode 7645 min

Denying Your True Voice? You Lose More Than Volume | Barbara McAfee TEDx Speaker

What if the voice you use every day is the same one keeping you from who you're becoming? That inner critic, the one that wakes up before you do, tells you you're not qualified, not experienced, not enough, it's using your voice. And here's the part most leaders miss: so is the version of you that knows exactly who you are. Imposter syndrome and your fullest, most authentic self are running on the same instrument. The question isn't whether you have a voice. It's which one you're letting speak. In this conversation, master voice coach, singer, author, and TEDx speaker, Barbara McAfee explains why the truth lives in your belly, not your head, and why your tone of voice will always reveal what your words are trying to hide. Drawing on over three decades of coaching leaders, Barbara breaks down how emotional intelligence and executive presence are not about speaking louder or commanding more authority. They're about getting your outer voice, your inner voice, and your identity aligned. We explore the shadow work that happens when you stop performing and start expressing, what it means when Barbara says "the shadow is going to speak," and why the people who struggle most with authentic leadership are often the ones carrying immense gifts they've never been able to voice. She walks us through the five elements of vocal expression, earth, fire, water, metal, and air, and reveals why expanding your vocal range expands your sense of who you are, and what becomes possible. This is not a conversation about public speaking tips. It's about what happens when you stop editing yourself, stop managing the impression you're making, and let the voice you actually have say what it actually knows. Barbara's central thesis, “you can't change your voice without your life coming along for the ride,” lands as both a warning and an invitation. If you've ever felt like your communication isn't landing the way you think it is, or you've wondered why the same inner critic that fuels your imposter syndrome sounds nothing like the leader you know you're becoming, this conversation will show you what's actually at stake. In this episode, Barbara answers the following questions: - How can I find my voice? - How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome? - How do I fix my inner critic? - What does a voice coach do? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Barbara’s Web site - Barbara’s Most Recent Book, “ Vocal Intelligence, Leading with Vitality, Presence, and Impact ” - Brain Rats Video Music in this episode by Amplify Music. What Do You Know To Be True?" is an invitation for those who are in the middle of a mid-career reinvention, attempting to pivot from the old version of you, into one that is more aligned with purpose and values, and becoming more of your possible self. These conversations are with leaders who have been at that pivot point, who’ve navigated the messy middle, and now creating more meaning in the world through their work. Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the What Do you Know To Be True? site ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation. "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #findyourvoice #executivepresence #innercritic #authenticleadership #ImposterSyndrome #

July 2, 2026Episode 7549 min

Is Your Workplace Actually Safe? Nervous System Regulation | Sharon Podobnik Peterson

In the workplace, Sharon Podobnik Peterson said a trauma response looks like patterns of connection turned into patterns of protection. That one sentence is the spine of trauma informed leadership and what can happen without nervous system regulation. It names why you can walk into a meeting perfectly prepared and still feel your nervous system hijack the room. It explains why defensiveness isn't a personality flaw, it's a signal that safety left the conversation before you even noticed. And it reframes nervous system regulation not as a wellness buzzword but as the actual infrastructure of effective leadership. Sharon is the founder of The Center for Conscious Leadership and the creator of the Trauma Informed Leader program. In this episode, she walks us through what happens when a room full of nervous systems becomes its own collective organism and why co-regulation is the leadership skill nobody taught you. We explore the window of tolerance, what polyvagal theory looks like in real time (not in a textbook), and how to spot when someone across from you has shifted from connection into protection without either of you naming it. We also get into something Sharon calls the un-ripened tomato effect. It's her metaphor for how organizations pluck emerging leaders too early, teach them to perform executive presence without building the nervous system capacity underneath, and then wonder why emotional regulation crumbles under pressure and emotional resilience never takes root. If you have ever been told to fake it until you make it and felt your body keeping score the whole time, this part of the conversation will land. This conversation is about recognizing that stress management and psychological safety start inside your own system before they ever show up in relation with colleagues. You'll leave with a clearer sense of what high functioning anxiety actually costs, how to attune to the regulational field in any room you walk into, and why leading well might come down to how willing you are to stay in connection when everything in you wants to protect. In this episode, Sharon answers the following questions: - What is trauma? - What is trauma informed leadership? - How to not activate a trauma response in others? - How to regulate my nervous system? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Sharon’s LinkedIn - The Center for Conscious Leadership Chapters 0:00 What Is Trauma-Informed Leadership? 3:56 Defining Trauma: When Nervous System Regulation Fails 5:21 The Three Lenses of Trauma-Informed Leadership 8:47 Co-Regulation: How Leaders Create Nervous System Safety 13:54 Psychological Safety: Am I Safe? Do I Matter? Am I Loved? 17:00 Burnout Symptoms: The Unripened Tomato Leadership Metaphor 20:29 Holding Space: Sharon's Origin Story & Superpower 36:09 Imposter Syndrome: The Cost of Looking the Part 41:46 Leadership Development As Public Health & Well-Being Requirement What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #nervoussystemregulation #traumainformedleadership #psychologicalsafety #impostersyndrome #emotionalintelligence #coregulation #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #reinventyourself #RogerKastner

June 18, 2026Episode 7443 min

You Know It's Time To Reinvent Yourself But You're Waiting | Midlife Reinvention with Sylvia Taylor

What if the midlife reinvention you keep postponing isn't waiting for more data or a better plan, it's waiting for you to trust your gut again? For many professionals like you, career reinvention feels too big to trust your intuition and instead let the big decisions be made by spreadsheets, pros-and-cons lists, and taking the safe route of certainty. Sylvia Taylor calls that inner signal "the sparkle." As an "adapt-ologist" who has navigated career changes across marketing, organizational development, and agile leadership, Sylvia discovered early that her most significant career pivots were never purely logical. They were intuitive. She followed what lit her up, even when the path made no sense on paper. In this conversation, you will learn: ➡️ How to answer "Who am I beyond my job title?" without spiraling ➡️ Why your gut may be more trustworthy than your brain when considering a career reinvention ➡️ The difference between hope as a feeling and hope as a daily practice ➡️ Why hope is an amplifier for adaptability and resilience ================= Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the channel: What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ ================= In this conversation, Sylvia introduces the Adaptive Identity Game, a play-based tool she designed to answer the question that surfaces during every midlife reinvention: "If I'm not my job title, who am I?" The answer, she insists, isn't found by updating your LinkedIn profile. It's uncovered by reconnecting with the skills, traits, and metaphors that have been quietly shaping your work all along. Sylvia shares the tool she created, the Adaptive Identity Game, a play-based tool she designed to answer the question that surfaces during every midlife reinvention: "If I'm not my job title, who am I?" The answer, she insists, isn't found by updating your LinkedIn profile. It's uncovered by reconnecting with the skills, traits, and metaphors that have been quietly shaping your work all along. In this episode, Sylvia answers the following questions: ➡️ What does reinvent your career mean? ➡️ How can I follow my intuition? ➡️ How accurate are gut feelings? ➡️ How to be more adaptable? My favorite quote from the episode: "Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer." -Rainer Maria Rilke, from "Letters to a Young Poet" Resources mentioned in the episode: ➡️ Sylvia's Adaptive Identity Game Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. What Do You Know To Be True?" is an invitation for those who are in the middle of a mid-career reinvention, attempting to pivot from the old version of you, into one that is more aligned with purpose and values, and becoming more of your possible self. These conversations are with leaders who have been at that pivot point, who’ve navigated the messy middle, and now creating more meaning in the world through their work. Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #midlifereinvention #reinventyourself #careerchange #intuition #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #careerreinvention #reinvention #adaptability #personalgrowth #RogerKastner

June 11, 2026Episode 7337 min

Arguing To Win? This Word Can Lose The Room | Nervous System Regulation with Author and TEX Speaker

In this episode, psychotherapist, author, and TEDx speaker, Kerry-Lyn Stanton-Downes, returns to be relational and answer real questions about applying relational capacity to difficult conversations, provide respectful candor in ways that heals not harms, and create emotional co-regulation in the moments that matter most. In the original conversation, Kerry-Lyn shared the 8 principles of relational capacity and offered to come back to answer audience-provided questions. This is that episode! Four audience members sent in specific questions and Kerry-Lyn’s responses went deeper than theory. The questions: ➡️ How can leaders use relational capacity to improve emotional co-regulation? ➡️ How do you address someone's dysregulation with compassion? ➡️ How do other cultures develop relational capacity that we can learn from? ➡️ Is the choice between being right and staying in relationship actually a false one? Thank you, Mark Meadows, Wynne Leon, and April McCormick for the questions! Her answer to the last question revealed something I didn't expect. Kerry-Lyn identifies the early warning signal we all recognize but rarely name: the moment "but, but, but" enters your internal dialogue, you've left relational curiosity behind. The fix isn't trying harder to convince the other person. It's admitting your own defensiveness out loud, what she calls respectful candor. That single move to vulnerability disarms the entire dynamic and invites both people back to what they're really in service of. Throughout this conversation, from ubuntu and whakapapa, from leader vulnerability to emotional co-regulation, you'll hear her eight principles of relational capacity surface naturally; not because she's reciting a model, but because she's so deeply embedded in the work that it's become how she sees. If you've ever walked away from a difficult conversation wondering if you could have held your ground and held the relationship, this episode was made for you. *** Don't miss another episode with amazing guests - subscribe here: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 *** Resources mentioned in the episode: ➡️ Kerry-Lyn’s Company: https://www.berelational.co.uk/ ➡️ Kerry-Lyn’s LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kerry-lyn-stanton-downes ➡️ Kerry-Lyn’s Substack: https://berelationalnow.substack.com/ Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ ➡️ Visit us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #difficultconversations #nervoussystemregulation #coregulation #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #reinvention #RogerKastner #reinventyourself

June 4, 2026Episode 7257 min

Ignoring What’s Really Going On Weakens Your Team | Difficult Conversations with DeDe Halfhill

Most leaders know when something is off with their team but they steer clear of the difficult conversation. They sense the tension and the confusion, but they lack the courageous leadership and emotional intelligence to say the thing that everyone wants to hear. building. And the team and results suffer. Retired U.S. Air Force Colonel DeDe Halfhill says that silence is the single most expensive habit in leadership today, and it's costing leaders the very thing they're working hardest to build. In this conversation, Roger Kastner sits down with DeDe Halfhill, retired US Air Force Colonel, former advisor to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and now a Leadership Advisor and Speaker, to explore why difficult conversations are not a soft skill, but a high-performance discipline. From Iraq to the boardrooms of corporate America, DeDe's message is the same: the leaders who build the strongest teams are the ones willing to say the thing nobody else will say. In this episode you'll discover: ➡️ Why the leaders who "do hard things" are often the ones most afraid to have the hard conversation ➡️ How acknowledging the emotional reality of your team builds more trust than any strategy session ➡️ The moment DeDe realized in Iraq that speaking the truth of a shared experience changes everything ➡️ How psychological safety and difficult conversations are two sides of the same leadership coin Colonel DeDe Halfhill retired from the U.S. Air Force after 25 years of service, including a deployment to Iraq and an advisory role to the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. She now works with organizations and leaders to develop the emotional intelligence and courageous leadership skills that drive real team performance because she's seen firsthand what happens when leaders choose courage over comfort, and what it costs when they don't. If you've ever sensed something was wrong with your team but stayed quiet to avoid the discomfort this conversation is the permission slip you didn't know you needed. The difficult conversation isn't the risk. Avoiding it is. Resources mentioned in the episode: ➡️DeDe’s Website ➡️DeDe’s LinkedIn Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. "What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #difficultconversations #courageousleadership #emotionalintelligence #psychologicalsafety #leadershipdevelopment #mindset #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #reinvention #RogerKastner #reinventyourself

May 21, 2026Episode 7137 min

Why Smart People Freeze When It’s Time To Choose | Decision Making Insights with Nil Demircubuk

You know when you are overthinking and second guessing a decision, and then once you make the decision you realize your first instinct was right all along? And then there are the other times when you realize gut was dead wrong. That's the paradox of intuition: it's powerful, but it's not always right. And most advice about it falls into one of two camps: "always trust your gut" or "stick to the data." Neither is the full picture. In this conversation, Nil Demircubuk makes the case for a third option: discernment. Your intuition is ready but it's one input, not the only input. The real superpower is knowing when to trust it, when to lean on logic, and when to go get more information before you decide. Nil is an Intuition Facilitator and author of “Down to Earth: Demystify Intuition to Upgrade your Life,” and she although she came to learn her superpower was intuition, her education and vocation were deep into analytics and logic. Nil introduces "priming" as a practical method to access your intuition on demand, not as a replacement for rational thinking, but as a complement to it. She breaks down how to tell the difference between an intuitive hit and a fear-based story, and offers a framework for making decisions that draws on both your inner knowing and your analytical mind. If you've been second-guessing decisions you used to make with confidence... if you're tired of going in circles when the stakes are high... this conversation is an invitation to stop overthinking and start discerning. What you'll take away from this conversation: ☑️ Why "trust your gut" is incomplete advice…and what to do instead ☑️ The priming method: how to intentionally access your intuition on demand ☑️ How to tell the difference between intuition and fear-based thinking ☑️ When intuition is the right input — and when logic or more information is what you actually need ☑️ A simple experiment to try after this episode to strengthen your discernment muscle In this episode, Nil answers the following questions: ☑️What is intuition? ☑️How to develop intuition? ☑️How to stop overthinking? ☑️How to reduce anxiety? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Nil’s Website: https://nildemircubuk.com/ Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. Want more info about What Do You Know To Be True? ➡️ Check out the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #Overthinking #intuition #logic #overthinking #howtodevelopintuition #decisionmaking #personaldevelopment #leadershipdevelopment #reinventyourself #RogerKastner

May 7, 2026Episode 7058 min

Lonely At The Top? Your Nervous System Can Help | Author and TEDx Speaker Kerry-Lyn Stanton-Downes

That feeling of it being lonely at the top, it's not a leadership job requirement. It's a signal that you're going against your nature. And yet most leadership development doesn't talk about the impact of loneliness on performance, burnout, and well-being. Not enough at least. Psychologist, TEDx speaker, and author Kerry-Lyn Stanton-Downes makes a bold case: our brains are relational organs, wired to regulate, heal, grow, and perform through connection with others. Yet most leaders have accepted the story that loneliness is just the cost of leadership. In this conversation, Kerry-Lyn unpacks why that story is costing more than we think. When leaders prioritize task over relationship, what looks like discipline on the outside is actually the early signs of relational drift. Over time, that impacts not only the leader, but the team's working relationship and performance. Kerry-Lyn introduces the concept of relational poverty, the barrenness in the space between us where we can't repair, can't challenge, can't think together. It's not just a personal cost; it's systemic. When a leader's nervous system is in survival mode, that state becomes the relational climate for the entire team. People start managing the leader instead of collaborating with them. The good news: Kerry-Lyn offers a framework for building relational capacity through eight principles: presence, curiosity, reflection, vulnerability, being in service, navigating difference, a mindset of abundance, and repair. And you don't need all eight. Start with one. For a leader already running on empty, the first step isn't adding more to their plate, it's regulating their own nervous system so they can show up for others. This conversation is for any leader who feels the weight of isolation and suspects there might be a different way. BONUS: Kerry-Lyn offered to join us for a follow-up episode to answer your questions. If you want to ask Kerry-Lyn a question, drop a comment in the YouTube version of the episode . Thank you! In this episode, Kerry-Lyn answers the following questions: - Why is leadership so lonely? - What is the cost of loneliness? - What is one thing a Leader can do about loneliness? - How do I develop more relationships? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Kerry-Lyn’s Company - Kerry-Lyn’s LinkedIn - Kerry-Lyn’s Substack Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. What Do You Know To Be True? is a personal development and leadership podcast for professionals discovering, building, or already living into their purpose and possibilities. Each episode is a real conversation with a guest who's navigated their own reinvention: from discovering a talent built out of something difficult, to now using their superpower in service of others. Their stories offer new perspective, validate what you already know, and inspire your next move. Wherever you are on that path, these conversations are for you. Each conversation gives you something real: a guest's honest story, a practice or perspective you can actually use, confirmation you're on the right path, and you're not alone. ➡️ Subscribe to the What Do You Know To Be True? newsletter to get insights into each conversation: https://rogerkastner.substack.com/ ➡️ Visit the Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@WDYKTBT?sub_confirmation=1 "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #Leadership #loneliness #Burnout #LeadershipDevelopment #wellbeing #LonelyAtTheTop #personaldevelopment #RogerKastner #reinventyourself

April 23, 2026Episode 1740 min

'Joy Killer' Boss? What They Couldn't Take | Burnout Recovery with Sheryl Raphael Whitaker

Burnout starts when we're operate outside of our zone of genius, out of alignment with our values, and when we've lost touch with our joy. Sheryl Raphael Whitaker has spent the majority of her career making a case most leadership conversations are afraid to make. Joy is not a reward. It's an operating system. As a leadership coach, talent strategist, author of “It Starts with Joy,” and a host of a weekly show by the same name, Sheryl says difference between those two mindsets changes everything about how you lead. Her frame starts with a mindset shift that sounds deceptively simple. Many leaders spend their careers believing that joy is not something one can expect at work. They focus their personal development on building skills and capabilities instead of understanding what makes them tick. Joy at work isn't something you unlock when conditions improve. It's an internal alignment that runs underneath everything, steady and available, regardless of what's happening around you. Sheryl also draws a line that most personal development conversations tend to blur. You're either leading from joy or from fear. That's not a criticism. It's a diagnosis. Most of what we call toxic leadership, she says, is just fear that never got named. What makes her approach to authentic leadership different is where she locates it. Joy isn't the reward waiting at the end of a hard season. It's your chief operating officer, running before the meeting starts, before the difficult conversation, before the decision that keeps you up at night. Sheryl knows what it costs an organization when leaders hand that operating system over to their circumstances. This conversation is for the leader, coach, and OD professional who knows something feels misaligned but hasn't found the language for it yet. Sheryl's invitation is direct. You don't have to wait for conditions to be right. You can lead from who you actually are, right now, even when the people around you are hiding it. In this episode, Sheryl answers the following questions: - How to find more joy in your work? - How to be happy at work when you hate it? - How to make work fun and enjoyable? - As a leader, am I allowed to have fun and experience joy? Resources mentioned in the episode: - Sheryl’s LinkedIn - Sheryl’s Book: https://itstartswithjoy.com/ - It Starts With Joy Live: https://www.youtube.com/@itstartswithjoylive - Sheryl’s Company: https://www.edenanthonyelitetalent.com/ - Derek Sievers’ How to start a movement Music in this episode by Ian Kastner. "What Do You Know To Be True?" is an invitation to be inspired to become more of your possible self by discovering your superpower, unlocking your potential, and creating your impact in the world. This podcast is for leaders, coaches, org development practitioners, and anyone who works with people who want to be inspired to discover their superpower, unlock their possibilities, and make meaningful impact in the world. For more info about the podcast or to check out more episodes, go to: WhatDoYouKnowToBe True.com "What Do You Know To Be True?" is hosted by Roger Kastner, is a production of Three Blue Pens, and is recorded on the ancestral lands of the Duwamish and Suquamish people. To discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people whose land you may be on, go to: https://native-land.ca/ Keywords #burnout #leadership #burnoutrecovery #authenticleadership #personaldevelopment #leadershipcoach #mindset

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