Chronic Absenteeism and School Refusal: What School Leaders Can Do with Matt Cicoria
Send us Fan Mail School leaders are working hard to improve learning and support student behavior. But those efforts depend on students actually being there. And when a student starts missing school, the missed instruction and lost connections can make coming back even harder. In this episode of The Heart & Science of Leadership , I’m joined by my good friend and colleague Matt Cicoria to talk about chronic absenteeism, school refusal, and how school leaders can respond. Matt brings more than 25 years of experience in behavior analysis, including nearly two decades focused on school consultation. We look at what students may be escaping at school, what they may be accessing at home, and how well-intended responses from adults can inadvertently strengthen avoidance. We also discuss barriers like housing instability, the importance of addressing bullying and stressful school conditions, and why families need support without another helping of blame. Matt shares practical considerations for recognizing early warning signs, building gradual steps toward attendance, and developing individualized plans with families. And we explore a question school leaders need to consider: Could sending a student home actually increase the behavior we’re trying to reduce? In this episode Recognizing early warning signs. School refusal can show up as morning struggles, resistance to entering the building, avoiding particular classes, arriving late, or leaving early. Understanding the individual situation. Attendance numbers tell us how much school a student is missing. They don’t tell us what’s getting in the way. Looking at reinforcement across home and school. Relief from stressful situations, access to preferred activities, and adult attention can all influence attendance. Supporting families through difficult mornings. Immediate relief for both the child and caregiver can make avoidance more likely to happen again. Building achievable steps toward returning. Some students need a carefully planned progression toward regular attendance. Making school a place students want to be. Safety, relationships, engaging instruction, and support for educators belong in the attendance conversation. Building rapport before offering solutions. Families are more likely to work with us when they feel heard and understood. Episode timestamps 00:00 | Why attendance belongs in the leadership conversation 01:24 | Meet Matt Cicoria 03:53 | Parent blame and punitive responses 07:39 | Defining chronic absenteeism 10:26 | School refusal and its early warning signs 13:20 | What students escape at school and access at home 14:29 | Assessing the reasons behind school refusal 17:57 | Housing instability and barriers beyond the student’s control 19:14 | Attendance initiatives and school-family relationships 22:21 | School conditions, teacher support, and engaging instruction 25:29 | Student anxiety, caregiver distress, and the avoidance cycle 29:51 | Supporting families and building gradual steps toward attendance 32:57 | Rethinking Resilience conference discussion 34:50 | Individualized plans and reinforcement across settings 39:16 | Suspensions, unintended consequences, and the Compass Room 41:19 | Building rapport with families before recommending changes 43:31 | Connect with Matt Resources mentioned Behavioral Observations : Connect with Matt through the website’s contact form. Compass Room : An alternative to suspension discussed in the episode. Dr. Christopher Kearney’s School Refusal Assessment Scale. Rethinking Resilience: Building Schools Where Students and Staff Can Adapt, Recover, and Keep Going . If you lead a school or support attendance teams, share this episode with the people working alongside families to help students return and stay connected. Motivational Interviewing: Getting Educator Buy-In is a comprehensive online course designed to equip behavior interventionists is a goal-oriented, person-centered approach that encourages individuals to explore and resolve ambivalence toward behavioral interventions and change.


