The Rollercoaster Podcast

Hosted by Tyler Hall

Education

Website RSS feed

Episodes

168

Latest episode

Oct 2026

Language

About the show

Some things break you open in a way you never fully close back up. The Rollercoaster Podcast sits in that space — the aftermath of loss, trauma, and grief — and asks what it actually takes to keep living after everything falls apart. Hosted by Tyler Hall, this show features unfiltered, deeply human conversations with people who’ve survived the unthinkable — the death of a loved one, sudden crisis, abuse, addiction, and the kind of pain that reshapes a life overnight. No polished takes, no tidy lessons. Just honest accounts of what grief actually feels like, and what it looks like to rebuild afterward. Born out of a personal crisis that upended Tyler’s own life, The Rollercoaster Podcast has grown into one of the top trauma & grief podcasts globally, with nearly 200 episodes of raw, real storytelling. If you’ve ever needed proof that people can survive what feels unsurvivable — that the climb back is possible — this is your show. New episodes weekly. 🎢

Listen to episodes

60 recent

October 27, 20261 hr 17 min

She Buried Her Son… Then Went Looking for Her Husband

How do you keep going when the person who helped you survive losing your baby is suddenly gone too? I sit down with Britt Del Toro for a conversation about infant loss, suicide bereavement, and the grief that follows you into every corner of your life. Britt shares the heartbreaking loss of her 10-week-old son, Zeppelin, her own suicide attempt, and later losing her husband, Troy, to suicide. What stays with me is her honesty about everything that comes after: the guilt, the unanswered questions, and trying to parent when you can barely get through the day yourself. In this episode: Saying goodbye to Zeppelin and choosing organ donation The depression that deepened after the funeral Surviving a suicide attempt and reaching for help Loving Troy through mental illness and grieving his death Finding moments of faith while living with loss I’m grateful Britt trusted me with the parts of her story that are still painful to say out loud. She speaks about grief without pretending she has it figured out, and about asking for support when the weight feels unbearable. If you’re carrying a loss nobody else can see, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone. Key Moments: 00:00 Losing a baby, then a husband 03:48 The moment Britt found Zeppelin 08:17 The guilt of every “what if” 12:19 Holding her baby one last time 16:47 The heartbreaking choice to donate his organs 21:26 When the funeral ends and grief gets louder 25:17 The nightmares nobody saw 29:25 When grief became a mental health crisis 33:40 Surviving a suicide attempt 41:50 The side of Troy others didn’t see 46:20 Chronic pain and a growing crisis 50:57 The week before everything changed Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Britt: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/britt_deltoro/

October 20, 20261 hr 9 min

The Most Heartbreaking Story I've Ever Heard...

What happens to your faith when you witness suffering so horrific that you begin asking God why He allows it? I sit down with Alex Barbir, founder of Building Zion, who has risked his life to stand alongside persecuted Christians in Nigeria, where families are being murdered, villages destroyed, and countless survivors left with nothing. Alex shares heartbreaking firsthand accounts of religious persecution, including a mother cradling her murdered son, families grieving unimaginable losses, and the moments that brought him to tears and challenged his own faith. In this episode: The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in Nigeria What Alex witnessed at massacre sites that still haunts him Why he believes the church and world are failing innocent families How witnessing unimaginable suffering challenged his relationship with God Rebuilding destroyed villages and restoring hope to survivors This conversation goes far beyond violence and religious persecution. It's about faith in the face of evil, the courage to stand with those who are suffering, and what it truly means to love your neighbor. Alex's story left me questioning how easily we look away from suffering simply because it isn't happening to us. Because sometimes the hardest question isn't where God is in suffering, but where we are. Key Moments: 00:00 The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in Nigeria 03:30 Why the world is ignoring the massacre of Christians 07:00 Who is really behind the attacks on Nigerian Christians 10:40 The religious beliefs behind the violence 14:50 The Nigerian village where hundreds were massacred 18:25 Why nobody came to help the survivors 22:30 Why the Nigerian government isn't stopping the violence 26:30 Are officials hiding the true death toll? 30:35 The heartbreaking moment that broke Alex 34:40 Why does the world look away from suffering? 38:20 Where is God when innocent people are murdered? 42:55 The faces of victims that still haunt him 47:40 The massacre that changed everything 51:35 Why rebuilding villages became his mission 55:30 Choosing faith over fear in dangerous places 59:30 How armed attackers terrorize Christian communities 1:01:00 The unimaginable pain of losing a child 1:04:00 Why these families desperately need protection 1:07:00 What Christians can do to help Nigeria Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Alex: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexbarbir/

October 13, 202659 min

He Thought it Was a Headache - Now My Husband is Dead

What happens when the person you've loved almost your entire life is suddenly taken from you? My guest today is Ashley Leatham, who lost her husband, Scott, a 39-year-old firefighter, to a rare and aggressive cancer called NUT carcinoma. What started as persistent headaches turned into a devastating diagnosis, and just five months later, Ashley was holding her husband's hand as he took his final breath. They had known each other since they were 12. They built a beautiful life, raised two children, and imagined growing old together. Then everything changed. Ashley opens up about the unimaginable pain of watching her husband fight for his life, the heartbreak of telling their children he was dying, and the final moments she'll never forget. In this episode: The warning signs before Scott's devastating cancer diagnosis How five months changed their family's lives forever The heartbreaking final days before Scott passed away Navigating grief, widowhood, and raising children after loss Finding purpose, faith, and hope when life feels unbearable This conversation is a powerful reminder that tomorrow is never promised, the people we love are everything, and even in our darkest moments, there can still be a reason to keep going. Key Moments: 00:00 The heartbreaking final moments of Scott's cancer battle 03:01 A childhood friendship that became a lifelong love 07:50 The headaches that revealed a deadly cancer diagnosis 12:44 The hospital visit that changed everything 16:14 The rare cancer diagnosis and desperate fight to survive 20:11 When chemotherapy led to a terrifying emergency 23:05 Seven organs failing and the fight to stay alive 27:28 The devastating cancer prognosis that shattered their hope 30:18 How facing death changes what matters most 35:16 The powerful life lesson Scott left behind 38:55 The suspected cancer risks inside the fire station 43:23 The heartbreaking news that Scott had weeks to live 46:16 The final family memories before saying goodbye 49:09 Holding her husband's hand as he took his last breath 52:35 The painful reality of grief after losing a spouse 56:06 Finding purpose and hope after unimaginable loss Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Nick & Cassie: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dsnyash/

September 29, 202653 min

I Was Almost a Killer, Here's How I Got There...

There’s a point where you can’t blame your past anymore. You have to look in the mirror and decide who you’re going to become. My guest, Shane Goodbar, has lived both sides of that truth. Shane was sexually abused as a child, learned to hide behind a mask, and eventually found escape through alcohol and drugs. What started as a way to numb the pain spiraled into addiction, broken relationships, multiple DUIs, jail, and a moment where he came terrifyingly close to taking another man’s life. But this isn’t just a story about addiction. It’s about accountability, recovery, fatherhood, faith, forgiveness, and what happens when you finally stop seeing yourself as the victim of your own life. In this episode: How childhood sexual abuse shaped Shane’s identity and need to escape Why drugs and alcohol became a way to stop feeling The rock-bottom moment that finally broke through years of denial How a two-year therapeutic community completely rebuilt his life Why recovery meant learning to love the man staring back in the mirror What stayed with me most was Shane’s willingness to own all of it. Not excuse it. Not hide from it. Own it. Because no matter how lost you’ve become, your past doesn’t have to be where your story ends. But eventually, you have to take the first step. Key Moments: 00:00 The man behind the mask 03:18 Hiding childhood sexual abuse 06:02 When drugs became the escape 09:41 Living two different lives 13:15 Addiction starts taking over 17:46 The relationship that changed everything 21:07 Becoming a father changes the path 24:49 The lie he told himself about fatherhood 27:07 His fourth DUI and arrest 30:04 Ten days after leaving jail 33:09 When rock bottom finally hit 36:03 Facing the man he had become 39:01 Learning to love himself again 42:03 The identity crisis facing men 45:12 Finding God after years of pain 48:26 Why surrender finally brought peace 51:03 His message to anyone still lost 53:02 What recovery actually gives you Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Shane: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sr_goodbar/

September 22, 20261 hr 34 min

This Voicemail is All I Have Left of My Mom

There are some phone calls that divide your life into a before and an after. My guest, Kylie Hammonds, was just 26 when she received one of those calls. Her mom, Tabitha, had died suddenly, leaving Kylie and her brother searching for answers about what happened that night. Kylie takes me inside the events surrounding her mother’s death, the fentanyl discovered during the investigation, the questions surrounding her father, and the painful reality of grieving her mom while also grieving a father who was still alive. In this episode: The phone call that changed Kylie’s life forever The unanswered questions surrounding her mom’s sudden death Why the investigation left Kylie and her brother searching for answers How she learned to release the anger she carried toward her father Why preserving the voices and memories of the people we love matters so much But this conversation became about so much more than loss. Kylie shares what three years of grief, anger, prayer and healing have taught her about forgiveness, giving yourself grace, and how easily we convince ourselves we’ll have more time with the people we love. Later, Kylie’s boyfriend Michael Curtis joins us to share how watching her navigate this unimaginable loss inspired him to create Forevermore, a platform designed to preserve the voices, stories and memories of the people we love. And at the very end, Kylie plays the only voicemail she has left of her mom. It’s only a few seconds long, but when it’s the only chance you have to hear someone you love again, a few seconds is everything. Key Moments: 00:00 The phone call that changed everything 05:13 Flying home without knowing the truth 10:03 Why her brother warned her at the airport 15:07 The heartbreaking scene inside the house 20:05 Strangers caught entering her mom’s office 24:48 Her father’s story starts falling apart 29:10 The addiction Kylie never fully understood 33:07 Fentanyl changes the entire investigation 38:22 The discovery that changed how she saw her dad 42:04 Grieving a father who is still alive 49:21 What grief taught her about surviving loss 57:30 The tragedy that shaped Michael’s view of loss 1:02:00 How Kylie’s grief sparked a bigger idea 1:12:00 Using AI to preserve a loved one’s voice 1:17:00 The questions that uncover your life story 1:25:16 Hearing a loved one’s voice after they’re gone 1:32:12 What she’d give to hear her mom again Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Kylie: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylie_knh/ Connect with Michael: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelrrcurtis/

September 15, 202659 min

He Thought it Was a Stomach Ache - Now My Husband is Dead

In this episode, I sit down with Nick Rogers and his wife, Cassie, two people whose lives were shattered by the unimaginable loss of their spouses to cancer. Nick takes me through his wife Anna’s battle with aggressive breast cancer, the moment they thought she had beaten it, and the devastating reality of watching it return and spread. He also shares the impossible decisions he had to make as a father while trying to protect his two young daughters from losing their mom. Cassie’s story is different, but equally heartbreaking. Her husband Cody went from seemingly healthy to being diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer, and just 66 days later, he was gone. Before he died, Cody told Cassie something incredible: he was already praying for the man who would one day love her and help raise their children. In this episode: What it’s really like to lose a spouse to cancer The impossible decisions parents face while grieving How Nick and Cassie helped their children process loss The role faith played when life stopped making sense How they slowly found hope, healing, and love again And somehow, through grief, faith, and circumstances that are almost impossible to explain, Nick and Cassie found each other. This conversation is about losing the person you thought you’d grow old with, parenting through grief, trusting God when nothing makes sense, and slowly discovering that life, and even love, can exist after unimaginable loss. Key Moments: 00:00 Two spouses lost to cancer, one unexpected love story 03:18 The cancer diagnosis that changed everything 07:04 Finding faith through aggressive cancer treatment 10:19 When chemotherapy made death feel real 13:17 Cancer remission and a new beginning 16:32 The symptoms that revealed a brain tumor 20:07 When cancer came back even more aggressively 24:03 Facing the reality that Anna could die 28:26 The final months of Anna’s cancer battle 34:44 She fell asleep and never woke up 38:09 Telling two young girls their mom was dying 41:40 66 days from pancreatic cancer diagnosis to death 45:00 The scan that revealed a death sentence 49:32 Cody’s final message of faith 51:21 Why Cody prayed for Cassie’s future husband 54:28 Finding love after losing a spouse 56:48 Anna’s message to Cassie before she died Connect with Me: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/⁠ Connect with Nick & Cassie: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/rebuildingrogers/⁠

September 8, 202650 min

I Gave Him the Best Week of His Life - Now My Cousin is Dead

A few days before 16-year-old Landon took his own life, he spent what felt like one of the best weeks of his life with his cousin, Landon Ashworth. They ate way too much sushi, played golf, shot guns, laughed, talked about life, and dreamed about the future. When the week ended, Landon told him how much he needed it. He seemed happy. He seemed okay. Then came the phone call that changed everything. I sit down with filmmaker, actor, writer, and creator Landon Ashworth for an incredibly raw conversation about suicide, autism, grief, survivor’s guilt, and the things we sometimes don't see until it's too late. In this episode: Losing his 16-year-old cousin Landon to suicide The warning signs he wishes he had recognized sooner Growing up autistic, masking, bullying, and feeling misunderstood The survivor’s guilt he still carries after Landon’s death Turning grief into his deeply personal film Go On Landon opens up about experiencing suicidal thoughts himself and why he now isn’t afraid to directly ask someone if they’re thinking about taking their own life. We also talk about the painful reality of trying to help someone find their way out of the darkness, why emotional pain can feel impossible to escape, and the importance of finding something worth holding onto. This conversation is heavy. But more than anything, it’s about choosing to keep going. Key Moments: 00:00 The week before everything changed 03:03 When Landon’s future fell apart 06:25 The week that made him feel okay again 10:02 The phone call no one expected 13:43 The guilt of missing the signs 17:02 The suicide warning signs he missed 20:23 The reality of masking autism 24:00 Why other people’s opinions mean nothing 29:39 What an autistic brain can feel like 34:29 The Hollywood advice Landon couldn’t accept 38:00 Why vulnerable people started finding him 41:37 Turning Landon’s suicide into Go On 45:01 Finding a reason to stay alive 48:02 How to get out of emotional hell Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Landon Ashworth: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/landonashworthdirects/ #SuicidePrevention #AutismAwareness #SurvivorsGuilt

September 1, 202642 min

I Found a Lump in the Shower - Now I'm Fighting for My Life

When I called Mya Ludwig a few weeks ago, I expected a hard conversation. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer, undergone a double mastectomy, and was halfway through chemotherapy. Instead, I hung up feeling like Mya had somehow helped me. So I knew I needed to bring her back to the podcast. Mya opens up about the moment she discovered the lump, what treatment has really been like, and how losing her hair challenged the way she saw herself. But what impacted me most was her perspective. She refuses to let cancer become her identity or allow fear about tomorrow to steal the life she still gets to live today. We talk about learning to put yourself first, finding joy in incredibly difficult seasons, and how a traumatic brain injury years earlier taught Mya lessons she never imagined she'd need again. And making this conversation even more special, Mya's brother Adam joins us again, bringing the same joy and personality we loved the first time. In this episode: The moment Mya discovered something was wrong Why she refuses to live in the "what ifs" What losing her hair taught her about identity How to support someone without making them feel helpless Finding one small reason to keep going on the hardest days This conversation reminded me that we don't always get to choose what happens to us. But we do get to choose how we show up through it. Key Moments: 00:00 The Lump Maya Knew Was Cancer 03:18 The Attitude Toward Cancer That Changed My Life 07:44 Why Cancer Forced Maya to Finally Put Herself First 11:02 Why Maya Refuses to Feel Sorry for Herself 14:44 Refusing to Let Cancer Take Over Her Life 18:02 What Someone With Cancer Actually Needs From You 21:04 Losing Her Hair Changed How Maya Saw Herself 25:40 The One Thing Maya Does on Her Darkest Days 29:26 Maya’s Brother Adam Returns to the Podcast 31:20 How Adam Reacted to Maya’s Cancer Diagnosis 34:01 The Joy Adam Brings Everywhere He Goes 38:19 Adam’s Unfiltered Take on the Raiders 41:29 Adam’s Message to Anyone Going Through a Hard Time Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Mya: IG: @minimamamya (https://www.instagram.com/minimamamya/)

August 25, 20261 hr 6 min

Most Heartbreaking Story I've Ever Heard

In this episode, I sit down with Matthew Griffin, who spent 21 years serving in the military and law enforcement. During those years, Matt saw things most of us will never see. But one call would stay with him for decades. As a young police officer, Matt responded to the accidental death of two-and-a-half-year-old Benny Jr., the son of a friend. Matt was the first officer on scene and performed CPR, but Benny didn’t survive. What followed was years of guilt, nightmares, drinking, and the belief that if he had reacted just seconds sooner, maybe he could have saved him. The trauma didn’t stay at work. Slowly, Matt began losing himself, his marriage, his identity, and eventually his desire to keep living. In this episode, we talk about: The call involving two-year-old Benny Jr. that changed Matt’s life forever The hidden reality of PTSD, trauma, and mental health among police officers and first responders How undercover police work consumed Matt’s identity and contributed to the breakdown of his marriage The moments that pushed Matt toward suicide and what ultimately kept him here Why simply checking on someone can be more powerful than we realize This conversation is about what happens when the people we expect to save everyone else are quietly falling apart themselves. And why sometimes surviving starts with giving life one more hour. One more day. Key Moments: 00:00 The Police Call That Changed Everything 03:03 Meeting Benny Jr. Days Before the Tragedy 10:24 The Guilt That Haunted Him for Years 18:02 The Hidden Mental Health Crisis in Policing 24:18 When Undercover Police Work Took Over His Life 27:31 Losing His Marriage, Home and Identity 32:14 Taking Accountability for Who He Became 36:04 His Chief Checked on Him, Then Died by Suicide 42:04 The Phone Call That Saved Matt’s Life 48:47 Why Checking In on Someone Could Save a Life 53:22 “If Today Is a Good Day to Die, So Is Tomorrow” 59:44 The Check-In Every Leader Should Be Doing 1:03:29 What Matt Would Say to Someone Considering Suicide Connect with Me: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/ Connect with Matt: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/authormatthewgriffin/

August 18, 202642 min

We Were So Proud He Lost Weight - Now My Dad is Dead

In this episode, I sit down with Olivia Burnett, who lost her dad, Kevin, to stage four colon cancer at just 24 years old. He was her Superman, the person who gave her confidence, made her feel unstoppable, and always reminded her that she was “golden.” Within months of his death, grief pulled Olivia into a darkness she never expected. She tried therapy. Medication. Exercise. Friends. Family. Everything people tell you to do when you're struggling with depression. But nothing seemed to break through. Eventually, Olivia found herself sitting on her bed with a bottle of pills in her hand, believing suicide was the only way out. Then two words entered her mind: Hold on. That tiny piece of hope was enough. In this episode, we talk about: Losing her dad to stage four colon cancer at just 24 years old The delayed grief that sent Olivia into a devastating battle with depression The night she believed suicide was her only way out and the two words that stopped her How tiny, everyday decisions helped her slowly find hope, resilience, and purpose again Turning unimaginable pain into a reason to help others hold on through their darkest moments This conversation isn't about pretending everything gets better overnight. It's about what can happen when you hold on long enough to see what comes next. Key Moments: 00:00 My Dad Was Healthy Then Everything Changed 04:06 The Signs of Stage 4 Colon Cancer We Missed 08:02 The Night I Watched My Dad Die 11:12 The Future Cancer Stole From Us 15:03 How My Dad Faced Death Without Fear 19:03 Finding Yellow Socks in the Darkness 22:09 Why “Choose Happiness” Isn't That Simple 25:16 When Grief Turned Into Severe Depression 28:03 The Night I Almost Ended My Life 31:16 Turning My Pain Into Purpose 35:46 How I Finally Climbed Out of the Darkness 39:34 The Small Decisions That Saved Me 41:06 What My Dad Would Say to Me Today Connect with Me: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/⁠ Connect with Olivia: Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/twentysomething_podcast/⁠

Is this your show?

Claim this listing to keep it up to date, reach guests who want to pitch you, and manage bookings with Guestify.

Claim this listing