It's a Mindset

Hosted by Emma Lagerlow

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Sep 2026

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It's a Mindset, the podcast where we embark on a transformative journey to enhance your worth, wealth, and well-being. In each episode, we explore the power of your mindset, featuring inspiring guest interviews, tips, and insights. Are you ready to dive in and discover that anything is possible when you put your mind to it?

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September 29, 202654 min

Episode 112: The 500 Lunches Effect: Why Action Comes Before Confidence with Nick Bendel

What might become possible if you stopped waiting to feel confident and acted first? We often assume confidence is something we need before we introduce ourselves, ask a question, extend an invitation or pursue an opportunity. But what if confidence is actually created by doing the very things that make us uncomfortable? In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by speaker, author and social courage expert Nick Bendel. In August 2019, Nick began an ambitious project to have lunch with 500 strangers. What started as a way for a natural introvert to improve his social skills and build relationships became a six-year exploration of courage, confidence, rejection and human connection. The project eventually inspired his book, The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything. I was immediately intrigued by Nick’s story. I certainly enjoy a long lunch, but meeting 500 strangers is an entirely different proposition. I wanted to understand what compelled him to begin, what kept him going and what he discovered through talking to people from vastly different professions, ages and backgrounds. Nick explains that social courage means taking action when we don’t feel completely ready or when we risk being judged, rejected, criticised or embarrassed. It might involve asking for a promotion, speaking in front of an audience, approaching someone at an event or inviting somebody on a date. We explore why fear of another person’s reaction can create hesitation, how easily we turn rejection into a judgement about our worth and why somebody else’s “no” is generally far less personal than we imagine. Nick also shares practical ways to make social connection feel less intimidating. We don’t need a brilliant opening line or an impressive story. A simple introduction, genuine curiosity and thoughtful listening can be enough to begin a meaningful conversation. Our conversation moves beyond networking to consider the deeper importance of human connection. In a world where so much communication now occurs digitally, it is possible to move through our days surrounded by people without truly connecting with any of them. Nick’s experience is an invitation to become a little more courageous, a little more curious and more willing to take the small social risks that can open the door to new relationships and opportunities. Key Episode Takeaways: Confidence follows action. Waiting until we feel confident can keep us stuck indefinitely. Confidence grows when we take action despite feeling uncertain or uncomfortable. Social courage is personal. Speaking publicly may feel natural to one person and terrifying to another. Courage isn’t determined by the action itself, but by what taking that action requires from the individual. Rejection is rarely the judgement we imagine it to be. Someone may decline an invitation because of their time, responsibilities or insecurities. Their answer does not automatically say anything about our worth. We don’t need to be particularly clever to begin a conversation. A simple introduction and genuine interest in another person can be far more effective than trying to deliver the perfect opening line. Listening helps people feel valued. Asking thoughtful questions and giving someone room to share what matters to them can create stronger rapport than dominating a conversation. An imperfect plan can produce meaningful progress. Social courage doesn’t require an enormous leap. Choosing the smallest realistic step and building from there makes change more sustainable. Connection is an important part of success. Money, status and achievement can feel hollow without meaningful friendships and relationships in our lives. About the Guest: Nick Bendel is a speaker, author and social courage expert who helps people overcome hesitation and create more opportunities in their careers and lives. He is the author of The 500 Lunches Effect: How Social Courage Changes Everything, based on his six-year project to have lunch with 500 strangers. Drawing on his background as a journalist and business owner, Nick explores how small acts of social courage shape relationships, confidence and success. He speaks and writes about social courage, networking, confidence, personal growth and the hidden role hesitation plays in human potential. Show Resources: Visit Nick’s website: https://www.nickbendel.com Connect with Nick on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nick-bendel Follow Nick on Instagram: @mrnickbendel Follow Emma Lagerlow on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Discover more about Emma and her work: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us at @emmalagerlow and @mrnickbendel . Yours in courage and connection, Emma. X.

September 22, 202655 min

Episode 111: Who Cares for the Carer? Breaking the Silence Around Mental Ill Health with Sarah Martin

What happens to a family when mental ill health enters their lives without warning? The focus understandably turns to the person who is unwell. But surrounding them are often parents, partners, siblings and friends trying to make sense of an unfamiliar system while carrying fear, uncertainty and responsibility of their own. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by perioperative nurse, carer peer worker, SANE peer ambassador and author Sarah Martin. Sarah and her family became what she describes as “accidental carers” when one of her children experienced a mental health crisis while travelling overseas. What followed changed the course of their lives and eventually inspired Sarah’s first book, Dear Psychosis. Her second book, Dear Carer, turns its attention to the people standing beside someone living with complex mental ill health. Sarah shares how little support her family could find for themselves and why stigma, privacy and the desire to protect a loved one caused them to become increasingly silent. We explore the isolation this can create for carers and the difference it makes to feel genuinely seen, heard and understood by someone who is willing to listen. We also discuss the practical knowledge families may need when navigating mental health services and emergencies, from understanding the roles of different clinicians to recognising a loved one’s triggers and preparing a toolkit before a crisis occurs. At the heart of our conversation is Sarah’s message that carers must be cared for too. She speaks candidly about the years she spent placing her own needs aside, why accepting invitations and seeking psychological support became important parts of her own wellbeing, and how looking after yourself ultimately helps the person who depends on you. I first met Sarah through the Expert Author Community, and her first book, Dear Psychosis, left an enormous impression on me. With my own children entering adulthood, I found her family’s experience riveting, moving and confronting. Sarah also showed me what an honest and incredibly compelling book could be, so it was a genuine honour to finally have this conversation with her. Key Episode Takeaways: Families can become carers without warning or preparation. When complex mental ill health enters a family, everyone can be affected, yet support and information are often directed only towards the person who is unwell. Stigma can leave entire families navigating mental ill health in silence. Carers may be reluctant to speak openly because they want to protect their loved one’s privacy, but that silence can also deepen their own isolation. Mental ill health deserves the same curiosity and compassion as any other chronic illness. Sarah encourages us to ask respectful questions, learn more and challenge the way mental and physical illnesses are treated differently. Carer self-care is essential, not selfish. Accepting help, maintaining connection and having somewhere safe to talk can support both the carer and the person relying on them. Preparation can make an overwhelming situation more manageable. Understanding possible triggers, knowing what support is available and creating a practical toolkit before a crisis can help families make more informed decisions when pressure is high. Feeling heard and seen can create an extraordinary ripple effect. Sarah’s work is grounded in helping people recognise that they are not alone and that even one person’s story can make a meaningful difference to someone else. About the Guest: Sarah Martin is a perioperative nurse with more than 40 years of experience, a carer peer worker and a SANE peer ambassador. She is also a mum of three, one of whom lives with bipolar affective disorder. Sarah is the author of Dear Psychosis, which shares her family’s experience of complex mental ill health, and Dear Carer, created to provide carers with the information, perspectives and practical guidance Sarah wished her own family had been able to access. Through her writing and advocacy, she is committed to reducing the stigma and silence surrounding mental ill health and helping carers feel less alone. Show Resources: Connect with Sarah Martin on Instagram: @sarahmartin.author Connect with Sarah Martin on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100088825839661 Connect with Sarah Martin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-martin123/ Follow Emma Lagerlow on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Discover more about Emma and her work: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ Mental Health Support: If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or text 0477 13 11 14. You can also access information and peer support through SANE. If this episode raises concerns for you or someone you love, please contact an appropriate mental health support service or emergency service in your location. If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us at @emmalagerlow and @sarahmartin.author. Yours in compassion and connection, Emma. X.

September 15, 202656 min

Episode 110: For the Long Run: How to Perform at Your Best Without Sacrificing Your Wellbeing with Jessica Spendlove

What if performing at your best didn’t have to come at the expense of your health? For so many ambitious and driven people, looking after ourselves can become something we continually plan to return to later. Once the deadline has passed. Once the project is finished. Once life becomes a little less demanding. But what if our wellbeing isn’t separate from our ability to perform? What if it’s actually the foundation that allows us to keep doing the work that matters to us? In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by Jessica Spendlove—speaker, coach, advisor and author of For the Long Run: Build Your Daily Operating System for Energy, Recovery and Wellbeing. Jess has spent 15 years working at the intersection of wellbeing and high performance. Her career began in performance nutrition, working with hundreds of elite athletes, Olympic medallists, seven professional sporting teams and the Special Forces. Today, she brings those lessons into her work with corporate leaders, high-performing teams and organisations. Together, we explore why even some of the best performers in the world are still working to master the fundamentals, and why the increasingly complicated world of protocols, optimisation and extreme routines can make wellbeing feel harder than it needs to be. Jess shares her philosophy of upgrading rather than overhauling. Instead of measuring ourselves against an ideal routine—or even a previous version of ourselves—she encourages us to create rhythms that suit our current season and can be maintained on our busiest days, not only our best ones. We also discuss why knowledge alone doesn’t always lead to change. Drawing on her experience in professional sport, Jess explains how our environment, systems and relationships can influence our behaviour far more than another piece of information. Connection is another important part of the conversation. Jess explores why sustainable wellbeing includes our relationships, values and sense of purpose, and what can happen when achievement begins to take priority over everything else. Jess and I first met at a speaker training workshop with Sally Prosser, and it was lovely to reconnect. I continue to be blown away by Jess’s drive—particularly knowing that she wrote this book while navigating business and motherhood with a very young daughter. Yet what I found most interesting was how that season shaped the book itself. Rather than presenting a rigid formula, Jess has created an approach that recognises that our capacity changes and that sustainable performance needs to leave room for the reality of our lives. This is such a thoughtful conversation about ambition, energy, recovery, relationships and redefining success so that we can continue doing meaningful work without losing ourselves in the process. Key Episode Takeaways: Sustainable high performance isn’t about lowering your ambitions. It’s about building the foundations that allow you to pursue meaningful goals without continually sacrificing your health and wellbeing. Upgrade rather than overhaul. Extreme routines and short-term challenges can be difficult to sustain, while one or two consistent changes can help create momentum and greater capacity over time. Your approach needs to work on your busiest days—not only your best ones. Jess encourages us to stop benchmarking ourselves against an ideal routine or a previous season of life and create rhythms that reflect our current capacity. Even the highest-performing people in the world are still mastering the fundamentals. Nutrition, sleep, movement, stress management, recovery and connection remain central, regardless of how advanced someone’s performance environment may be. Knowing what to do isn’t always enough. Our systems, environment and relationships can make healthy behaviours easier to follow and often matter just as much as information or motivation. Connection is part of wellbeing. Our relationships, values and sense of purpose affect how well we live and perform, and success can feel increasingly empty when it takes us out of alignment with them. Our definition of success can evolve. Jess reflects on moving beyond externally driven achievement and considering the kind of life she wants to live, the person she wants to be and her capacity to enjoy what she is creating. About the Guest: Jessica Spendlove speaks, coaches and writes about sustainable high performance and wellbeing. She is a keynote speaker, advisor and author of For the Long Run: Build Your Daily Operating System for Energy, Recovery and Wellbeing. Across her 15-year career, Jess has worked with hundreds of elite athletes, Olympic medallists, seven professional sporting teams, the Special Forces, corporate leaders and high-performing organisations. Her work helps people embed wellbeing as a foundation for sustainable performance and leadership. Jess is also an Associate with Monash University’s Corporate Education program and host of the Stay at the Top podcast. Through her speaking, coaching and writing, she is working to change the narrative so that success is achieved not at the expense of our health, but because of it. Show Resources: Learn More About Jessica’s Book, For the Long Run: https://jessicaspendlove.com/book/ Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessicaspendlove/ Follow Jessica on Instagram: @jessicaspendlove Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Visit Emma’s Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ Learn More About Emma’s Book, Worthy & Wealthy: https://www.amazon.com.au/Worthy-Wealthy-Discovering-Abundance-Fulfilment/dp/1998528022 If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @jessicaspendlove . Yours in Sustainable Success, Emma. X.

September 8, 202659 min

Episode 109: When Wellness Becomes Overwhelming: Rethinking Midlife Health with Susan Hunter

Has looking after your health started to feel like another full-time job? There’s always something else we’re told we should be doing. Another habit to add. Another number to track. Another expert telling us what we’re getting wrong. And with so much information available, it can sometimes feel harder—not easier—to know where to begin. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by author, speaker and naturopath Susan Hunter, whose work challenges the story the wellness industry has been selling Gen X women. Susan has worked predominantly with women for more than 20 years and is the author of the book, The Health Edit: How Gen X Women Are Resetting the Script on Midlife. Together, we explore why women have become both the wellness industry’s biggest market and some of its most confused consumers. We talk about the guilt and overwhelm that can arise when caring for our health becomes another long list of things to manage, particularly for women already carrying full professional, family and mental loads. Susan shares her approach to simplifying health by identifying the area that needs our attention most, focusing on one essential change and allowing that change to become part of our lives before trying to do more. Rather than continually adding new routines, treatments or targets, she encourages women to develop the clarity and confidence to make health decisions that are genuinely relevant to them. We also explore movement as an important health foundation, why constantly tracking our bodies can sometimes disconnect us from how we actually feel, and what a post-optimisation approach to health could look like. As a woman in midlife myself, I found this conversation incredibly informative. I loved Susan’s hopeful perspective that our forties and fifties can be a time to think more intentionally about our long-term health, while also becoming clearer about our purpose, values and the way we want to live. This is a thoughtful conversation about moving beyond health overwhelm, trusting ourselves more and recognising that caring for our wellbeing doesn’t need to mean doing everything at once. Key Episode Takeaways: The wellness industry can make health feel like an additional burden. When women are continually reminded of everything they aren’t doing, looking after themselves can become another source of pressure rather than support. More information doesn’t always create greater clarity. Conflicting advice, emerging trends and health content on social media can make it difficult to understand what is relevant to our individual circumstances. One meaningful change can be more useful than trying to change everything. Susan explains how focusing on the area that needs our attention most can make health feel more manageable and create benefits that flow into other parts of our wellbeing. The foundations still matter. Movement we enjoy, real food, sleep and learning to listen to our bodies may not sound as exciting as the latest optimisation trend, but they can provide a practical place to begin. Complex or persistent concerns, however, may require appropriate professional investigation and support. Tracking can become counterproductive. Susan explores how an intense focus on scores, targets and data can create anxiety and draw us away from how we actually feel. Midlife can be approached as an opportunity rather than a decline. This stage of life can invite us to make more intentional choices about our health, redefine success and consider what we want the decades ahead to look like. About the Guest: Susan Hunter is an author, speaker and naturopath who believes the wellness industry has been selling Gen X women the wrong story. Through her work, Susan encourages women to view their health as a source of creative power in the second half of life—not as another part of themselves that needs to be continually optimised. Her debut book, The Health Edit: How Gen X Women Are Resetting the Script on Midlife, offers an alternative to the overwhelm and complexity surrounding women’s health. Susan’s approach is grounded in greater clarity, realistic change and moving away from the idea that more is always better. She is also launching The Health Edit podcast alongside the book. Show Resources: Visit Susan’s website: https://www.susanhunter.com.au/ Read Susan’s Substack: https://susanhunterhealth.substack.com/ Follow Susan on Instagram: @susanhunterhealth Connect with Susan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/susan-hunter-67282024/ Follow, Emma the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Visit Emma's website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @susanhunterhealth . Yours in Simplicity, Emma. X.

September 1, 202646 min

Episode 108: Who Are You Without What You Do? Identity, Love & Conscious Living with Dion Jensen

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself: Who am I without what I do? Without the job title. The achievements. The roles you play. The expectations you’ve spent years trying to meet. It’s one of life’s most important questions, in my opinion: Who are you, really? And it’s exactly the question at the heart of my conversation with author, speaker and coach Dion Elliott Jensen, whose new book Conscious Footsteps explores what can happen when we begin looking beyond what we do and reconnecting with who we are underneath it all. For much of Dion’s life, his identity and sense of worth were intertwined with achievement, career, status and the roles he played. But when life began dismantling so much of what he believed defined him, he was faced with a confronting question: Who am I when everything I thought defined me is gone? What followed wasn’t, as Dion describes it, a process of reinventing himself. It was one of remembering who he already was. I believe so much of our lives can be spent attaching our identity to external markers — what we achieve, how successful we are, the work we do and what other people think of us. So when I discovered Dion’s philosophy of “I am who I am, not what I do,” how could I not take the opportunity to interview him? And there is so much more to his story than this alone. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, Dion and I explore identity, authenticity and what it means to live more consciously. We talk about the masks and roles we can accumulate throughout our lives, and what may be waiting underneath them when we become curious enough to look. We explore the power of journaling and why putting our thoughts onto paper can be incredibly cathartic, as well as the importance of curiosity — not only about ourselves, but about the people around us. And we delve into Dion’s fascinating perspective on love: why he believes love is the one true emotion and why it can be okay for love to be a one-way street. At its heart, this is a conversation about looking beyond what we’ve achieved and asking ourselves some bigger questions about who we are, how we want to live and what really matters. Key Episode Takeaways: I am who I am, not what I do. Our careers, achievements and roles may be important parts of our lives, but Dion challenges us to consider what happens when we stop allowing them to define our identity and worth. Transformation may be less about reinventing ourselves and more about remembering ourselves. Sometimes becoming more authentically ourselves requires letting go of the identities, expectations and masks we’ve accumulated along the way. Journaling can be a powerful tool for self-discovery. Dion shares the role writing has played in his own journey and how putting our thoughts and experiences onto paper can be cathartic and help us understand ourselves more deeply. Curiosity can change the way we relate to ourselves and others. Rather than rushing to judgement or assuming we already know, becoming genuinely curious can open the door to greater understanding, compassion and connection. Love doesn’t always need to be reciprocated. Dion shares his perspective on why it can be okay for love to be a one-way street and what changes when we view love as something we choose to embody rather than something we give only in exchange for receiving it. Conscious living asks us to look beneath the roles we play. When we separate who we are from what we do, we create space to consider what feels authentic, purposeful and meaningful to us. About the Guest: Dion Elliott Jensen is an author, speaker and coach whose work explores identity, leadership, authenticity, purpose and love. For much of his life, Dion believed his worth was measured by what he achieved, building his identity around career, success, status and the roles he played. When life began dismantling many of those external markers, he found himself confronting the question: Who am I when everything I thought defined me is gone? That question became the beginning of a profound personal journey — one Dion describes not as reinvention, but as remembering. Today, Dion helps individuals and organisations redefine identity, lead more authentically and live with greater purpose, challenging people to look beyond titles, expectations and the masks they have learned to wear. He is the author of Conscious Footsteps and is guided by a simple but powerful philosophy: “I am who I am, not what I do.” Through his writing, speaking and coaching, Dion encourages us to consider whether our greatest transformation comes not from becoming someone new, but from letting go of who we thought we had to be. Show Resources: Follow Dion on Instagram: @dionelliottjensen Check Out Dion's Website: https://dionelliottjensen.com/ Learn More About Dion's Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Conscious-Footsteps-Dion-Elliott-Jensen/dp/1764311922 Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Learn More About 1:1 Coaching with Emma: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/become-the-butterfly-coaching-program Book a FREE Call with Emma: https://calendly.com/hello-emmalagerlow/30mincall If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @dionelliottjensen . Yours in Being Conscious, Emma. X.

August 25, 202656 min

Episode 107: How to Be Happy Without Being Happy All the Time with Declan Edwards

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’ll be happy when…”? When I achieve the goal. When I earn more money. When the kids are settled. When work calms down. When I finally get through this busy season of life. But what if being happier isn’t about reaching a point where we feel happy all the time? In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by happiness researcher, educator and philosopher Declan Edwards, founder of BU Happiness College and author of How To Be Happy. With a Masters Degree in Positive Psychology, Declan has dedicated his career to understanding the science and skillsets behind happier workplaces, communities and lives, sharing his insights with organisations including the United Nations General Assembly, PKF Global, TEDx and The Red Cross. And really, who doesn’t want to be happier? I know I certainly do. But what I took most from this conversation wasn’t about trying to feel happy all the time. In fact, it was almost the opposite. Declan and I explore why we need to become more curious about all of our emotions rather than labelling some as good and others as bad. Our emotions move and change when we allow ourselves to experience them, and perhaps by making room for the full spectrum of being human, we create more room for happiness too. We unpack what positive psychology actually is and explore the PERMAH model of wellbeing, our natural human bias towards noticing the negative, and the value of sometimes simply doing something because it makes us feel good. We also talk about the “I’ll be happy when” trap — our tendency to postpone happiness until something in our lives changes — and why our own happiness matters not only for us, but for the ripple effect it can have on the people around us. This is such an insightful and uplifting conversation about understanding our emotions, letting go of the expectation that we should be happy all the time and recognising that happiness is something we can actively cultivate within the lives we’re already living. Key Episode Takeaways: Positive psychology isn’t simply about positive thinking. Declan explains what positive psychology actually explores and introduces the PERMAH model and the different elements that contribute to our wellbeing. Happiness doesn’t mean being happy all the time. Making space for the full range of our emotions can be an important part of experiencing greater happiness and wellbeing. Sometimes it’s valuable to simply do things that make you feel good. Not everything needs to be productive, impressive or moving us towards another goal — pleasure and enjoyment have value too. All of our emotions have a place. Through the wheel of emotions, we explore why becoming curious about what we’re feeling can be more helpful than trying to avoid or suppress the emotions we’d rather not experience. Our brains naturally pay more attention to the negative. Understanding our human negativity bias can help us recognise why noticing and cultivating the good in our lives sometimes requires intention. Beware the “I’ll be happy when” trap. Constantly attaching happiness to the next achievement, milestone or change can keep moving happiness somewhere into the future instead of allowing us to experience more of it now. Your happiness matters. Prioritising your own happiness isn’t selfish. How we feel and how we show up creates a ripple effect that can influence our relationships, workplaces, families and communities. About the Guest: Declan Edwards is a happiness researcher, educator and philosopher with a Masters Degree in Positive Psychology. As the founder of BU Happiness College, Declan has dedicated his career to sharing the science and skillsets that contribute to happier workplaces, happier communities and happier living. His work has seen him invited to share his insights with leading organisations including the United Nations General Assembly, PKF Global, TEDx and The Red Cross. Declan is also the author of How To Be Happy, which explores five foundational happiness skills designed to help people understand and actively cultivate greater happiness in their everyday lives. Ultimately, Declan is driven by the hope that his work creates a ripple effect — helping individuals become happier and, in turn, making the world around them just a little bit happier. Show Resources: Learn More About the BU Happiness College: https://www.buhappinesscollege.com/ Check Out Declan's Website: https://declanedwards.com.au/ Learn More About Declan's Book, How To Be Happy: https://amzn.to/40AU8BT Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @declanedwards_bu . Your in Being Happy, Emma. X.

August 18, 202652 min

Episode 106: When Holding It Together Becomes Too Much: Burnout, ADHD & Self-Sacrifice with Pam Espin

Have you ever looked like you were holding everything together on the outside, while underneath it all you were completely overwhelmed? For so many women, being capable, reliable and the person everyone can depend on becomes part of our identity. We keep going, keep giving and keep meeting everyone else’s needs — sometimes without realising just how depleted we’ve become ourselves. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, I’m joined by Accredited Mental Health Social Worker, Counsellor and author Pam Espin, founder of Beyond Purpose Therapy and author of Not Built to Break: How to Stop Surviving and Lead from Wholeness. Pam has a wealth of knowledge across so many areas, and I loved having the opportunity to explore just a few of them in this conversation. Together, we unpack the roots and symptoms of burnout and why simply treating what we see on the surface may not address what’s really going on underneath. We explore women’s tendency towards self-sacrifice, the importance of understanding and allowing our emotions rather than labelling them as “good” or “bad”, and Pam’s Trifecta Method for understanding where we may be carrying our survival load. We also delve into the late diagnosis of ADHD in women — why it can go unrecognised for so long, what receiving a diagnosis can mean, and how years of trying to meet expectations while navigating life differently can take their toll. At the heart of our conversation is an idea that beautifully reflects Pam’s work and her book: we weren’t built simply to survive our lives. Sometimes there is value in becoming curious about what’s actually happening beneath the surface rather than continually trying harder, pushing through or becoming better at coping. This is such an insightful conversation about burnout, emotional wellbeing, neurodivergence, self-sacrifice and what it can mean to move beyond survival mode towards greater understanding and wholeness. Key Takeaways: Burnout is about more than feeling tired. Pam explores some of the deeper roots and symptoms of burnout and why it’s important to understand what may be driving our exhaustion rather than simply finding new ways to push through it. Women can become conditioned to self-sacrifice. Constantly prioritising the needs and expectations of others can come at a cost, particularly when we lose connection with our own needs in the process. There are no “good” or “bad” emotions. Our emotions provide us with information, and learning to experience and understand them without judgement can change the way we relate to ourselves. Pam’s Trifecta Method helps us look beneath the surface. We explore how Pam uses this framework to understand where our survival load may be showing up across the mind, body and heart. ADHD can present differently in women and remain unrecognised until later in life. Pam shares insights into late diagnosis and what understanding your neurodivergence can mean for the way you make sense of your past and move forward. We weren’t built simply to survive. Pam’s work and her book Not Built to Break explore what can happen when we move beyond coping and survival mode and begin addressing the deeper patterns underneath them. About the Guest: Pam Espin is an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and Counsellor, author and founder of Beyond Purpose Therapy, a telehealth-based practice providing trauma-informed therapy to adults across NSW, Queensland, the ACT and Victoria. Pam works particularly with people who may appear capable, responsible and high-functioning on the outside while internally navigating burnout, emotional exhaustion, ADHD-related overwhelm, unresolved trauma or long-standing stress responses. Her integrative, trauma-informed approach draws on EMDR, Schema Therapy and somatic approaches, with an emphasis on emotional safety, nervous system regulation and addressing underlying patterns rather than focusing solely on symptom management. Pam is the author of Not Built to Break: How to Stop Surviving and Lead from Wholeness and host of The Burnout Recovery Podcast. Through her therapy, writing and conversations, she encourages people to move beyond simply coping and develop a deeper understanding of the patterns keeping them in survival mode. Pam’s work is grounded in the belief that healing doesn’t come from pushing harder or performing better, but through support, understanding and creating enough safety to begin to soften. Show Resources: Follow Pam on Instagram: @pam_espin Check Out Pam's Website: https://beyondpurposetherapy.com/ Learn More About Pam's Book: https://www.amazon.com.au/Not-Built-Break-surviving-wholeness/dp/1764551192 Follow Emma on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @pam_espin . Yours in Wholeness, Emma. X.

August 11, 202656 min

Episode 105: The Kind Way: Burnout, Boundaries & Becoming More Yourself with Sophie Bretag

Have you ever reached a point where life has forced you to reconsider what really matters? For bestselling author, award-winning keynote speaker and executive HR consultant Sophie Bretag, experiences of burnout and cancer became part of a much bigger journey of rethinking how she wanted to live, work and show up in the world. In this episode of It’s a Mindset, Sophie joins me for a deeply personal conversation about kindness, boundaries, resilience and what it means to become more of yourself — particularly as we move through midlife. As the founder of Metta Leaders and author of The Kind Way, Sophie has spent almost two decades working in executive HR and leadership. But her understanding of kindness extends far beyond the workplace. We talk about her own experience of burnout, her cancer journey and the lessons that came from being forced to reassess the way she was living. We also explore the many different facets of HR and its impact on people and organisations, why boundaries are an essential part of kindness, and why putting yourself at the centre of your own life isn't selfish. One of my favourite parts of our conversation was our discussion about midlife and the permission it can give us to stop trying to be who we think we're supposed to be and instead become more of who we already are. Sophie is genuinely one of the kindest, most vibrant, beautiful and generous souls I know. She has been a huge supporter of me and my work — something I was so grateful to hear again during this conversation — and it was wonderful to have the opportunity to learn more about her story and the experiences that have shaped the work she does today. This is a conversation about what can happen when life asks us to slow down, reassess what matters and choose a kinder way forward — not only for the people around us, but for ourselves. Key Episode Takeaways: Burnout can be a powerful signal that something needs to change. Sometimes slowing down gives us the opportunity to reconsider how we want to live and what truly matters. Kindness includes boundaries. Being a kind person doesn't mean constantly saying yes, putting everyone else first or abandoning your own needs. Midlife can be an invitation to become more of yourself. Rather than reinventing ourselves entirely, this chapter can give us permission to embrace more of who we've always been. Putting yourself at the centre of your life isn't inherently selfish. There are times when prioritising your own wellbeing, needs and dreams is exactly what you need to do. HR has the potential to profoundly shape people's experience of work. Sophie shares some of the different facets of HR and why human-centric leadership matters. Success can be measured differently. Through The Kind Way, Sophie challenges traditional ideas about performance and explores kindness as a life-changing metric for leadership, success and the human spirit. About the Guest: Sophie Bretag is a bestselling author, award-winning keynote speaker and executive HR consultant specialising in kindness-led, human-centric leadership. As the founder of Metta Leaders, Sophie brings almost two decades of executive HR and leadership experience working with organisations across Australia and internationally. Drawing on both her professional expertise and her own experiences of burnout and significant health challenges, Sophie is passionate about redefining performance by placing human capacity and kindness at the centre of leadership. Her book, The Kind Way, explores kindness as a life-changing metric for leadership, success and the human spirit, encouraging us to reconsider how we lead, work and live. Show Resources: Follow Sophie on Instagram: @ sophiebretag Connect with Sophie on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sophiebretag/ Check Out Sophie's Book, The Kind Way: https://www.mettaleaders.com/book Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Check Out Emma's Book, Worthy and Wealthy: https://www.amazon.com.au/Worthy-Wealthy-Discovering-Abundance-Fulfilment/dp/1998528022 If you LOVED this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @sophiebretag . Yours in Kindness, Emma. X.

August 4, 202650 min

Episode 104: Rediscovering Yourself Through Art, Fashion & Courage with Anastasia Cairns

Have you ever lost sight of who you are while building a life for everyone else? So many women spend years putting their own dreams on hold, believing there'll be time "one day". But what if it's never too late to rediscover yourself, reconnect with your creativity and have the courage to build a life that truly reflects who you are? In this episode of It's a Mindset, I'm joined by renowned artist and fashion designer Anastasia Cairns, founder of a.nty story. Born in Indonesia and trained in fashion design in both Milan and Australia, Anastasia has created a beautiful slow fashion label that combines wearable art with a powerful mission: to empower women to embrace their individuality, strength and inner goddess. Having known Anastasia for several years and supported part of her journey, I've had a front-row seat to the passion, courage and resilience behind a.nty story. It has been incredibly rewarding to watch her rediscover herself and transform a dream into reality through her stunning, vibrant designs. This conversation is deeply personal as we reflect on the challenges she's overcome, the lessons she's learned and the woman she's become. Together, we explore what it means to lose yourself in a relationship, rebuild with courage, reconnect with your dreams and redefine success on your own terms. This is a heartfelt conversation about resilience, creativity and remembering that it's never too late to create a life that feels authentically yours. Key Episode Takeaways: How wearable art can empower women to express their individuality, strength and inner goddess. Why losing yourself in a relationship doesn't have to define the rest of your life — and how it's possible to rebuild with courage. How reconnecting with your creativity can help you rediscover who you truly are. Why true success isn't measured by achievements, but by finding inner peace and having the courage to follow your dreams. About the Guest: Anastasia Cairns is an Indonesian-born artist and fashion designer whose work celebrates the beauty, strength and individuality of women. After studying fashion at the prestigious Istituto Marangoni in Milan and completing a Master of Design in Australia, she founded a.nty story — a slow fashion label that combines vibrant wearable art with a mission to empower women to embrace their authentic selves. Through both her paintings and fashion collections, Anastasia inspires women to reconnect with their inner strength, celebrate their uniqueness and express themselves with confidence. Her journey of rebuilding her life, following her dreams and creating a purpose-driven business is a powerful reminder that it's never too late to rediscover yourself and create a life that feels truly aligned. Show Resources: Follow a.nty story on Instagram: @a.ntystory Check Out the a.nty story Website: https://antystory.com.au/ Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Learn More About Become the Butterfly: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/become-the-butterfly-coaching-program Book Complimentary Call with Emma: https://calendly.com/hello-emmalagerlow/30mincall If you loved this episode, make sure you share it on your Instagram Stories and tag us @emmalagerlow and @a.ntystory . Yours in Empowerment, Emma. X.

July 28, 202647 min

Episode 103: The Happiness Pathway with Charu Moorjani: Why You're Already Enough

Have you ever found yourself chasing happiness, believing you'll finally feel enough when you achieve the next goal, reach the next milestone or tick one more thing off your list? I think, if we're honest, most of us have. No matter where we come from or what our story looks like, we're all searching for the same thing in one way or another — happiness, peace and a life that feels meaningful. In this episode, I sit down with author, mindset coach and wellbeing storyteller Charu Moorjani, whose beautiful debut book, The Happiness Pathway, explores what it really means to create happiness from the inside out. What struck me most about this conversation was just how many shared beliefs we have. From the importance of slowing down and spending time alone, to recognising that self-worth isn't found in external validation, it felt like I'd met a kindred spirit. It was one of those conversations that leaves you feeling calmer, more hopeful and inspired to make small, intentional changes in your own life. Key episode takeaways: Why spending time alone is one of the greatest ways to reconnect with yourself. Simple daily rituals — like gratitude, pausing and making time for yourself — that can help cultivate lasting happiness. The difference between happiness and fulfilment, and why living in alignment matters more than chasing the next achievement. Why your self-worth isn't found in external validation, but in believing you're already enough. About the Guest: Charu Moorjani is an Australian author, mindset coach and wellbeing storyteller known for her honest memoir-style writing and grounded approach to personal growth. Her debut book, The Happiness Pathway, blends her lived experiences with practical tools to help readers rebuild their self-worth, create healthy boundaries without guilt and develop simple daily habits that cultivate lasting happiness. Every chapter includes personal stories, reflections and gentle exercises to help readers create meaningful, lasting change. Through her writing, workshops and community conversations, Charu creates safe spaces for reflection, healing and personal growth, reminding us that happiness isn't something we find once — it's something we choose to create every day. Show Resources: Follow Charu on Instagram: @thehappinesspathway Check Out Charu's Website: https://thehappinesspathway.com/ Follow Emma, the Podcast Host on Instagram: @emmalagerlow Check Out Emma's Website: https://www.emmalagerlow.com/ If you loved this episode, I'd be so grateful if you shared it on your Instagram Stories and tagged us @emmalagerlow and @thehappinesspathway . Your in Happiness, Emma. X.

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